


At a Crossroad

by teenage-mutant-ninja-AVENGER (imnotdoneyetap)



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, PTSD, Recovering Memories, Running Away, SOLDIER - Freeform, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-05-06 02:52:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 68,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5400143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotdoneyetap/pseuds/teenage-mutant-ninja-AVENGER
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jolene Nix wears her heart on her sleeve and helps wherever she can from her bar on the corner of the street. She was no hero and she was no damsel in distress. She lent her help to the people with the lost look in their eyes as she's done so many times before. That is, until a wandering soldier, beyond lost, arrives into her bar searching for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Neon Signs

        He walked alone. Wet from the incoming rain that was falling around him. Yet he didn't notice. The dirty streets suited him perfectly for he was wet and filthy from the dive he had earlier. Flashing images caused him to close his eyes as he remembered the man repeat his name. 

        " _Bucky_."

        That single name caused him to remember blurry images and created a painful headache. He leans on the brick wall that somehow materialized next to him. With everything that was going through his mind he didn't realize the sudden appearance of civilization. He closed his eyes trying to gain the solitude of his mind again. Ever since that man crossed paths with him he couldn't stop having these painful flashbacks. He couldn't differentiate if the men that held him captive, Hydra, had told him the truth or told him lies.

        He couldn’t be captured again. If he did, they’ll wipe the memories away and he was tired of losing his sanity once again. He hated feeling lost and alone in the world. He hated the feeling of being erased and he hated leaving the man that knew him behind.

        This was all he could do.

        He’ll have to forget once again but at least this time it was on his own terms. He’ll survive on his own, like he’s done before, but this time to save himself from being captured again and having his mind erased. This was his thought process beginning to unwind but the shattering of a beer bottle caught his attention.

        The soldier looks up in alert. His body automatically stands tall and he was on the ball of his feet ready for any kind of attack. He looks around and notices a group of men walking to their cars with beer bottles in their hands. That was the cause of the noise. There was no need to be this wired to attack. He tries to relax his body and looks at his surrounding once more.

        He takes a few steps forward and takes in account of the wall he had just been reclining on. Above him was a neon sign with bright green lighting.  _Crossroads._ Not thinking it twice, he walks around the corner and enters the facility. He needed to get out of the streets fast and find a place to sleep tonight and perhaps something to eat. The ringing of a bell signals his entrance and he quickly becomes attentive of his surroundings.

        The place was filled with low tables and wooden chairs. A dartboard was placed on opposing sides of the room and a pool table could be seen in the back. The smell of cigarette smoke and beer filled the air and behind the bar was a woman who sang quietly as she cleaned. When the bell rung, she didn’t bother to turn around. A mistake, the soldier thought. You should always be aware. He could easily kill her... no... He doesn't do that anymore.

        The woman didn’t bother to look back since she expected it was one of her late customers wanting another drink. She stopped singing and gave her automatic response.

        “Last call was 20 minutes ago. I’m closing shop,” she says slowly turning around. She tries to hide her surprise when she saw the man in front of her. He was wet, most likely from the rain pouring outside, and his hair covered most of his face. His clothing was all black and she noticed that it covered him like some sort of tactical armor. Yet that wasn’t what surprised her at all. It was the look in his eyes. It was always the look in their eyes that made her uneasy. He was lost.

        She knew he wasn’t lost geographically but he may be lost because of that too. This man, like she recognized from the others, had lost himself. She, of course, didn’t know how correct she was since the Winter Soldier was so lost he didn’t even know who he was or what his real name was.

        The woman puts her broom away and eyed the shotgun under her bar. This usually went two ways. The first situation would be that the war veteran would ask for shelter nicely. The second situation would be the veteran tries to take it. She was ready for either way it went.

        “You look like you could use a drink,” she says trying to gain time to find his endgame. “Or two.”

        “I…” his voice was scratchy and he knew it was because he hadn’t used it in a long time. He clears his throat and tries again. “I…”

        The woman doesn’t wait for an answer and takes out a glass and fills it with tap water. She slides it across the bar and he catches it quickly. She took notice of his quick reflexes and takes a step toward the shotgun under the bar counter.

        The soldier didn’t know of her plan and took the glass gratefully. He drank it down quickly just realizing how thirsty he was.

        “Thank you,” he says. The words felt strange in his mouth. He never had been thankful for anything until now.

        “No problem,” she answer still aware of the standstill they were both in. The soldier takes notice of her apprehensive stance and instinctively does the same. They stared at each other unsure of the motive of the other. The silence in the bar filled with tension and neither of them wanted to break it in worry that the other would attack. The woman is the first to give up as she relaxes. Something about his eyes and his appearance told her that he wasn’t searching for a fight.

        “You look like you need a place to stay at.” She says grabbing a rag and cleaning the bar. She looks up to him still seeing his wary stance. “I have a vacant room upstairs, unused and clean. I hope that’ll do for you.”

        He didn’t trust her offer. This could be a trap. This could be a ploy to have him captured again. She noticed that he was still uneasy and didn’t push him.

        “The room is upstairs on the right. There’s a bathroom in the room across from it where you can clean yourself up. I think I have some clothing your size in the closet beside the bathroom. You can check for yourself if you decide to stay.”

        The man was now looking at her quizzically unsure of her propositions.

        “This isn’t my first time taking someone in.” she tells him. “I trust you to treat me with respect and leave my things alone. The bar is protected by a security system my friend created. You won’t be able to enter the storage room or the cashier and it’ll notify me if you attempt to.”

        After saying that she switches the light off the bar and walks around. She then presses a pin code at the wall aside and a blue screen flashed around the bar and the door to which he presumed was the storage room. She walks around and his eyes followed after her as she fixed the chairs and tables around the room. After doing this she grabs her jacket and keys before turning back to him.

        “So are you staying or leaving?” she asks him. He was still unsure and she knew it. She makes the decision for him and turns off the light from the whole bar. “The stairs are around the corner. Lock up before you hit the hay.”

        Without another word, she leaves and he remains in the dark unsure of what to do.

*******

        She arrived in the early morning and unlocked the door. The bar was filled with sunlight due to the open blinds so she didn’t bother to turn on the lights. She walks over and presses the pin on the keyboard to turn down the security system before she walked around the bar and placed all of the bags in her arms on the wooden surface.

        It was eerie how quiet the bar was this early in the morning. She usually wasn’t here around this time but knowing she had a guest and no food in the bar, except for the bowls of old peanuts, she decided to bring him breakfast.

        She knew that she shouldn’t barge into his room. She knew from her past experiences the things she could see or the things that could happen to her. There was a time that a soldier suffering from PTSD had almost strangled her if it wasn’t for her putting to use her self-defense classes she learned prior.

        She waited downstairs as she removed the lids from the containers that held the warm food. It wasn’t long until he came downstairs and she expected his early start to the day was due to his usual military schedule. He looks up at her and says nothing. She didn’t want to start a conversation so instead she set a plate in front of him and motioned for him to eat.

        Not having much of a choice, he did just that. While he ate the first good meal he’s had in years, she finished up cleaning the bar. The woman turned on the radio with low volume and sang lightly along with it. The soldier just watched her not knowing what else do to. He still didn’t trust her random act of kindness and she knew that too.

        “My name’s Jolene by the way.” She says over her shoulder. “I’m known for homing soldiers who've come back home to nothing or feeling nothing. They live upstairs but it comes with a price.”

        He freezes at the mention of this and looks for a nearby escape. Jolene turns back to him, which prevented him from any escape plans. She saw how unsettled he was and realized it was something she had just said.

        “I know you’re a soldier,” she states. “The signs are there. You stand straight and are quiet due to the lack of social contact. You wake up pre-dawn because of a strict sleeping schedule and your hair is long because of choice. Most soldiers in service have to shave it off but when they come back home they tend to grow it out. And then your eyes… they show the horrors you’ve seen. I know because I’ve had friends with the same look in their eyes.”

        A moment of silence passes between them since she didn’t want to inform him of her other observations. He remained silent because he just didn’t want to confirm what she said but either way she was right and she knew it.

        “What’s your name?” she asks him. He looks back down at his plate wanting to ignore the question but she asked him again. “What’s your name soldier? I gave you mine now it’s time for yours.”

        Once again he remained silent. He couldn’t say the Winter Soldier because that could raise red flags. He couldn’t say Bucky because he couldn’t risk that man from the helicarrier to find him again. He just needed to remember and he needed to be safe so he decided to remain nameless. He was safest that way.

        “Fine,” she states removing the empty containers and putting them away. “I’ll just give you one. Umm… John. You can’t get more basic than that. John Smith, that’s it.”

        “John?” he asks her confused.

        “Well you look like a John…kinda.” She replies. “Besides you didn’t offer a name so that’s what you get. If you don’t like it, oh well…”

        Jolene shrugs her shoulder and starts to stock up the bar. The containers of beer were always heavy and she hated this part of her job. Instead of carrying them she just kicked the crate softly across the floor until she was able to get it remotely near the fridge. The soldier, now named John, just watched her with amusement. She huffed tiredly and walked back to the storage room to retrieve the other cases.

        John seeing this gets up from the bar stool he was sitting on and follows after her. She struggled to carry the crate down and almost dropped it when she saw John behind her. Seeing this, the Winter Soldier took a step back knowing he did something wrong. Jolene just stared at him as her face turned red from exhaustion. The crate seemed to be getting heavier by the second.

        “What are you standing there soldier? Help me!” she exclaims.

        Hearing this, John takes the crate away from her hands. He easily carried them to the bar and set it near the fridge. He turned around to grab more to find Jolene blocking the door and staring at him unsurely. He looks down and sees how the hoodie he decided to wear last night had slipped down and revealed part of his metal arm. Her eyes were staring down at it but she didn’t ask him about it. Instead she looked back up at him and moved aside.

        “You have four more crates to go and I’m supposed to get a new shipping of Corona’s later on today. I’m going to need your help on that too.” She starts to instruct him. He looks at her in surprise and she continues with her instructions. “If you decide to stay you’re going to earn your living. The apartment upstairs is all yours. Food, I will provide. In exchange, you’ll do what I can’t. Carrying the crates, helping with the new shipping, and when the bar gets busy. Also some arm muscle would be nice to break up the bar fights and drunks. Does that sound good to you?”

        The Winter Soldier was surprised to hear that with the list of her demands he was given the choice to accept or deny it. With the other men he, _Hydra,_ he had no choice. In order to survive, in order not to go through another mind swipe, he had to obey. He didn’t know what to say. He knew he couldn’t stay there for long because he’ll be found, but she was offering food and shelter over easy jobs and not asking questions. She was giving him a choice, he wouldn’t find that anywhere else.

        “That sounds perfect to me.”

        Jolene smiled at him and he didn’t know how to feel about that.

        “Great. So John Smith, are you going to keep on standing there or are you going to go grab those four crates?”

        The soldier now accepting his new name John, went back to the storage room and retrieved those crates. Jolene started to place the beers in the fridge getting a head start on her list of chores. She was done with the first crate when John came back in already finished. Before she could say anything, he started to help her unload the beers into the fridge.

        “Thank you,” she whispers and they were done in a matter of minutes.

*******

        The whole day went on like that. She started on a new task, whether fixing the lights or dusting the vicinity, and John would follow after her and helped her. She didn’t question his metal prosthetic arm and John didn’t remember his time before this. For the first time, the Winter Soldier felt normal, like a John Smith would in a regular day. His mind didn’t stray back to the memories he did have. The assassinations he created. The kidnappings. The spying. Everything had slipped his mind just like Jolene had expected him too.

_Keep the man busy, his mind will follow suit._

        This was the best she could do to ease them back to a normal life and lessen the painful memories. Not only did it help her and the bar, but it also helped these soldiers return to the “normal” standards of society. She knew how it felt to be an outsider and she hated that her country's heroes would usually find themselves on the street humiliated. That’s why she had an open heart and an open home for them. She’ll help out the soldiers whichever way she can.

        “So John, what about some lunch?” she asks finishing half of her chores already. She was tired and sweating slightly while he looked the same. She kind of envied him for that but didn’t say anything. “I can order some pizza or Chinese to be delivered.”

        John just shrugged his shoulders not caring.

        “Pizza it is.” She states dialing the memorized number on her phone. “Does pepperoni sound good to you? Or do we want to be kinda healthy and go with veggies?”

        John just shrugged again.

        “Ok, I guess it's ladies choice again. Let’s go with pepperoni and bacon. I’m craving that today.”

        John didn’t mind. He really didn’t have a preference for what food he ate. As long as there was something to eat, he was fine. Jolene quickly ordered the pizza and set down at a nearby table. She stared at him as he sat at the table beside hers. He looked around the bar searching for something else to do while Jolene just stared at him.

        She took in his appearance, avoiding his eyes, and noticed that he was somewhere around her age, maybe even older. His long brown hair framed his face and she noticed that he used it to hide his face. His jaw was strongly framed and he had a sharp nose. He looked like a nice normal guy but a darkness in his eyes showed that he was potentially dangerous. That something inside of him was prone to violence and she was afraid of that.

        She was afraid of what he had done and what he could do. The metal arm had also set another level of uneasiness on her but she pushed that away from her mind. The prosthetic arm didn’t say anything about him. It only showed that he got injured and he was scientifically improved with greater strength and a fully movable arm prosthetic. Yet she was still afraid of what a metal arm could do to a person’s face. She shivered at that thought and looked away from him.

        “You’re not much of a talker.” She states. “That’s understandable. I wouldn’t want to talk about the war either.”

        “Have you ever been in war?” he asks her wondering how she knew so much.

        “No but I heard a lot about them and I’ve seen some violent videos on the news. I also have a friend who’s part of this special defensive unit. He was pretty shaken after some of the things he's been through.”

        “This friend of yours is he the same one who invented the security system?”

        “The same one.” She states. “He’s really smart but can be a complete idiot. Really nice though… He helped me open up this bar. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him.”

        She stays quiet for a while as she thought about him. It’s been awhile since she called him and right on cue her phone vibrated.

        “Speak of the devil,” she mutters as she pulls out her phone and finds the familiar name. A knock on the door distracts her for a second and she quickly gives out her next list of instructions. “I need to take this. Can you get the pizza? Just take some money from the register and give Ricky a good tip.”

        After saying that, she walks toward the pool table and answers the phone. John walks around the bar counter and walks over to the register after a couple of attempts to open it, he takes out the money. He looks at the array of bills longingly, knowing that he could take this and live out on his own. Yet he couldn’t. This place seemed to be all she had and for the first time he felt someone else’s need over his own. He grabbed a twenty-dollar bill and made his way to the door. He opened it to find a teenager looking up at him with a cheerful smile.

        “Hi I’m Ricky. You must be new. I haven’t seen you around.” He quickly says. “Here’s your pizza. Warm and ready.”

        The Winter Soldier didn’t know how he felt about the kid. He was overenthusiastic for someone who had to drive around pizzas all day. He just offered a grunt as he took the pizza from his hand and gave him the money. He was about to close the door when the kid pops his head in and looks around. Ricky smiles up at Jolene who gives him a small wave.

        “It was nice to see you Miss Jo. Thanks for the tip.” He says before popping out of the door. The soldier just shook his head as he closed the door. He turns back around waiting for Jolene as she continued with her car. His heightened hearing allowed him to hear her side of the conversation.

        “Tony I swear to God if you come in here and meddle with my bar I will punch you in the throat…No… I mean it Tony… I don’t care if it shows up in the media pictures…yeah, yeah… well you deserve it. Don’t come over Tony!” she yells. He grows worried at her tone and all of his instincts wired him to make the best of the situation. A plan was forming in his mind when her laughter stops it.

        “Don’t call him that. He’s not a stray. He’s someone who needs help.” She starts to say. “Yes, I call them my strays, but that doesn't mean _you_ can call them that... You want to know his name. Well I do to, Tony. He wasn’t up to giving one… No, I do not find that sketchy… Tony, he’s harmless. Besides I can kick your ass can I? I’m pretty sure I can kick his ass too… Ok, maybe I was exaggerating.”

        The soldier chuckled at this liking her attitude. She seemed relaxed and more jovial with this Tony guy. They must know each other for a long time if they’re like this. He sounded very protective to her, like an older brother would be for his sister.

        “I’m not going to have you hack the FBI to find info on this guy. Besides how are you going to get his information?” she asks him. “…Yeah I know I gave you a name but it isn’t his real name… Tony, I swear he’s not going to try anything… Yeah, yeah. I know where to hit him where it hurts… Yeah, I know… Fine. Say hi to Pepper for me. I’ll see you for the holidays. Bye, bye, now.”

        Jolene hangs up and notices John looking at her. She smiles at him and pockets her phone as she makes her way towards him. She opens up the box of pizza and takes a slice. The cheese burned her fingers but she didn’t care. She was hungry and her conversation with Tony was aggravating but in a good way. Jolene knew that John had heard part of her conversation but he didn’t seem bothered.

        “So that was your friend Tony?” he asks her as he finished his slice. She nods since her mouth was full of pizza. “He’s protective of you.”

        “Yeah, he tends to be that way.” She answers with a smile. “Tony’s like an older brother to me. Our families were close friends and I always wanted to play with the older kids. Tony would let me sometimes but he was always busy building something evolutionary. I just couldn’t keep up. Either way, he didn’t forget about me with the fame and the money. He’s the only family I have now and vice versa.”

        John just nodded at this not speaking further. Jolene hating the usual silence decided to steer the conversation.

        “So do you have any family?”

        The question made his blood run cold. His head started to pound like it has before except this time it wasn’t from that guy. His mind pulsed for a memory that he didn’t know if he even had. He groans as his eyes go blurry and his head seems to convulse.

        Jolene noticed she asked the wrong question when John clutches at his head. He groans in pain and she wasn’t sure if she should help him or not. She knew that if she made contact he could go into attack mode. So she sat at the edge of her chair and spoke in a calm voice even though all she wanted to do was grab the shotgun under the counter and protect herself.

        “John, it’s me. It’s me Jolene.” She states. “Everything’s ok. You’re safe. Just listen to my voice and retrace your steps back to me. Focus on me.”

        The Winter Soldier, through his haze of pain, manages to hear the miniscule sound of her voice. The memories that had flooded in were of three young girls following after him. They would jump at his back or cling to his legs while he walked.  _Sisters._ He had sisters that were pesky and annoying but grew up sooner than they had to because of the war. The memory subsided and her voice brought him back. He was breathing heavily and his vision came back to focus.

        “You should head upstairs and rest for a while.” She tells him. “You’ve done enough for today.”

        With no hesitation, he made his way upstairs and entered the room that was now his. The bed was near the window and he didn’t bother to make his bed. The bedroom was small but it was better than nothing. He laid down heavily causing the bed to creek. His head seemed to still be swirling from the intensity of the memory. Slowly and more calmly he remembered the name of the girls. Amanda, Stephanie, and Rebekah. Each of them were a year apart from each other and he was the eldest. Their laughs and girlish talks came to him so easily. His name. His real name was so fresh in his mind.

 _James Buchanan Barnes_.

        The eldest of his family. Born and raised in Brooklyn. His birthday was March 10. He had three younger sisters and his best friend from childhood was Steve Rogers.

_“I’m with you till the end of the line, pal.”_

        That’s what Steve had said to him that caused flashes of his memory to come back. His head was starting to hurt again but it was all due to his thinking. He closed his eyes and groaned. A knock on the door distracted him from his thoughts and he was glad to see Jolene opening the door with a glass of water in her hands.

        “I brought you some Tylenol and a glass of water for that headache of yours.” She states handing him the glass and dropping the pills in his metal hand. “I’m not going to pry but I’m guessing your memory wasn’t pleasant.”

        Bucky just shakes his head and takes the pills. He drank half of the glass of water and looked up at her.        

        “I guess family talk is in the do not speak pile.”

        Bucky just nods not wanting to think of how the years went by and his sisters were most likely dead. Jolene notices the sad look in his eyes and knew he needed some time alone.

        “If you ever need to talk, I’m just downstairs.” She tells him. “You should get some shut eye and if you feel like it, the bar could use your help with rush hour.”

        Jolene closed the door after her and made her way downstairs.

        Bucky stared after the woman, gaining back the slightest hints of emotions. Gratitude was one of them. Fear was also another one. Confusion, anger, sadness… he had a hint of all of them. Bucky knew that his stay could be dangerous for both of them. He knew that anywhere he went it would be dangerous. Bucky couldn’t make up his mind in what to do so he just laid there hoping that sleep would give him a sign.


	2. Trigger

The bell of the door rang so many times during the span of twenty minutes. Her usual customers had first call on the bar counter and she knew their orders at the top of her head. She quickly uncapped their beers and set them on their merry way as new arrivals and college students made their way in.

The pool table was crowded with men making bets and playing intensely. Those who were new at the bar usually took up one of the dartboards and played mindlessly. Others took a seat and enjoyed the music she played at the bar. It was the usual classics and sometimes she would play the modern stuff for the younger crowd. Either way the atmosphere was ambient with everyone just finishing a long week of hard work and enjoying the beginning of their weekend.

“Hey Jo, another round here!” Danny screamed from one side of the bar.

“Can we get some shots?!” some college frat was yelling.

“Jolene someone just broke a bottle near the pool table.” Chris told her.

She was used to this kind of rush. Jolene hated it but she never complained. This was what she signed up for when she opened up her bar here. She didn’t have it in her to go through the process of finding another employee since she always ended up gaining help from what Tony labeled as her “strays.”

Jolene didn’t want to bother John since his episode from earlier today proved that he wasn’t used to them yet. She knew he needed time to recover and she wasn’t going to push him into working rush hour where a lot of her clients tended to shout at her face for their drinks. So she put a smile on her face and took a deep breath as she faced all of her demands.

She quickly uncapped 6 beers and handed them to Danny and his crew. She then turned to the frat boy and asked for his I.D. in which he coincidentally managed to forget. No I.D.= No Alcohol. Her next errand involved tossing the broom to Chris, one of her regulars, who knew the drill for broken beer bottles.

But she wasn’t done yet. During that time one more group of laborers came in and started to make orders. Once again, Jolene started the process of getting the beers and the occasional shot of something special to the newcomers. During this time she didn’t notice John coming in who stared at the entire bar in a sort of shock.

He had never seen this many people without having his mask on. All of them were loud with drunken conversations and laughter. He smelled the harsh stench of cigarette smoke somewhere and was startled by the yells at the pool table beside him. The soldier pushed past this and made his way to Jolene who was working at ultra speed behind the bar.

He just watched Jolene working, as she never took a break. Jolene was working with one task in mind and it was getting these orders right and out fast. She didn’t notice that John had sneaked up on her until Danny in his corner of the bar hollered to everyone.

“Hey there’s a newcomer!” he yelled standing on his bar stool and pointing at the soldier. “Jolene, baby… I didn’t know you had a new boyfriend. I always thought we had something.”

Jolene hearing this turns to John and offers him a sheepish smile noticing how he didn’t like the attention that he was now getting. Practically the whole bar was starring at him and she felt bad. She turns back to Danny and glares at him.

“Danny, you better watch that mouth of yours. You don’t want word to reach your wife now do ya?” she yells throwing the bar rag at his face. Danny’s crew laughs at him while he grabs the rag and throws it back at her. Jolene easily catches it and puts it away.

“I’m sorry John. He’s one of my regulars and he can be quite a dick.” She states as she turns to him.

“I heard that!” Danny yells. “No tip for you tonight!”

“You never tip Danny!” Jolene yells over her shoulder. She laughs as Danny grunts and returns to the ongoing conversation with his colleagues. By that time everyone turned away from the bar and accepted Jolene’s new bar hand. They were used to her homing the homeless and offering them jobs for a time being.

The soldier was relieved that the attention was no longer on him and he zipped his jacket up so his metal arm wouldn’t show and slipped on the gloves he had to hide the metallic fingers. Jolene turns to him seeming to relax now that he was here.

“Ok so here’s how this works. These people are going to yell their orders every which way and I can handle it, but with you around, it’ll make my job easier. So here’s how this is going to work, I’ll take all the orders and prepare some of them while you restock the supplies and help me uncap beers. Think you can manage that?”

The soldier just nodded at that and stared at the crowded counter uneasily. Jolene luckily stood between him and the crowd and started to collect the orders. He heard through all the noise and mimicked what she did. It was easy once you got the hang of it. Uncapping beers, moving to different side of the bars to grab that one special bottle of scotch, into the storage room to unload the new shipping of Corona’s. Everything was going well until it reached that point of the night when someone ended up doing something stupid.

One of the frat boys, which Jolene had been keeping an eye all night, had decided to stand up on the counter. He was obviously drunk and his buddies cheering him on made things worse. The frat boy had almost stepped on a few people as he shakily walked on the counter. He had an empty beer glass in his hand and he threw it at the wall. The glass shattered behind Jolene and caused the soldier to shift moods quickly. The attack wasn’t for him but it was near enough to cause him to return to his old ways.

“Hey, get down!” Jolene yelled at him. “GET DOWN!”

The frat boy wasn’t listening and chose to ignore her.

“More beer! More beer!” he started to chant and his friends joined in. Everyone else at the bar did nothing knowing that Jolene had this handled. They were used to this and always enjoyed how Jolene tended to diffuse the situation. Jolene turns to John and beckons him over.

“Give me a lift, would ya?” she asks him. He was confused to the demand but seeing her annoyed expression, he did what she ordered him to do. She grabbed onto his shoulders and placed a foot on his joined hands. Jolene then easily stepped onto the bar counter and faced the boy. Seeing her up there with him, the frat boy turned to face her.

“What the…” he begins to ask drunkenly and with no hesitation she kicked the back of his legs causing him to drop to his knees. Afterwards, Jolene grabbed the collar of his shirt and pushed his back against the bar counter making his head lean over the air.

“I told you to get down and you didn’t.” She states in a serious tone. “Now get out of my bar before I kick your ass out of it.”

The frat boy had sobered up pretty quickly and shakily crawled off the counter causing him to fall on the floor. His friends quickly picked him up and rushed him out of the bar. Once they left, everyone turned to her and cheered. Jolene smiled at them and bowed before jumping down from the counter. The Winter Soldier looked at her shocked and amused.

“And that’s how we deal with drunk idiots.” She tells him. “A bit of violence and a whole lot of fear.”

“Where did you learn moves like that?” he asks her.

“Anywhere that teaches them,” she replies. “I run a bar with burly men everywhere. I need all of the self-defense I can get."

Jolene smiled at him and continued with the refills. He stared at her for a while in awe before going back to assisting her wherever she needed it. After a couple of hours people trickled out of the bar. The one’s left where her regulars who helped her slightly by returning the chairs to their tables before leaving. Jolene gave them a wave before they left and turned to John.

“So what did you think?” she asks him. “Your first day and everything went pretty well and this is as bad as it gets with rush hour.”

“You do this all by yourself?” he asks her.

“Every night.” She states as she counted the money on the register.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to hire help?”

“Well I have you, don’t I?” she asks him. Jolene is met with silence and she turns to John. She noticed his pensive expression and realized he was still apprehensive with the whole thing. “Are you still deciding whether you want to leave or stay?”

“I don’t want to cause trouble.” He states.

“You haven’t caused anything.” She states with a laugh. “Hell, you’re quieter than a mute...”

John looked away from her stare and she knew it had to do with more than what she stated.

“Does this have to do with what happened earlier today? Your small relapse?” she asks him concerned.

He grows frigid as he hears that.

“John, you need to understand that I’m prepared for relapses like yours. I have a degree in Psychology and I’ve helped soldiers like you for years. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“Yes there is.” He states. “There’s a whole world out there to be afraid of.”

Jolene smiled at that.

“And there is whole word out there to enjoy.” She states. “There’s a balance between good and bad out there. I’ll like to see the good side of things.”

Jolene wiped down the bar and cleaned up the shards of the broken beer that the frat boy had thrown. The soldier after hearing her optimistic statement bent down and picked up the shards that were left on the floor. Jolene smiled at him and moved around the counter to throw away the empty beer bottles and to put up the stools. After that she placed in the pin for the security system and it booted up.

“So staying or leaving?” she asks him. He still seemed hesitant so this time she decided to hint him to stay. “I could use your help on those drunk idiots.” The soldier looks up at her in surprise. “He isn’t the first and I promise you he won’t be the last.”

Jolene had her full attention towards him. She read everything on him and was picking up on the unique signs that he was giving off. His shoulders were still tense and his breathing was still heavy. In a couple of seconds his shoulders slowly dropped and his breathing leveled. She offered him a smile, which seemed to calm him even more.

“If you’ll have me, I’ll stay.” He answers. “Can’t promise you it’ll be easy though.”

“Nothing ever is.” She answers with another smile, an act that he enjoyed seeing. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning with breakfast. Make sure to lock up the place before you go to sleep.”

With those last words she grabbed her jacket and set of keys. Jolene turned back to him and gave him a small wave before stepping out the door. The soldier just looked at the empty bar and then back at the stairs to his rooms. Nightmares plagued his dreams and there was nothing he could do about it. So he made up his mind and decided to distract himself.

 --------------

Jolene had a little trouble opening the door. Her keys jingled as she attempted to unlock the door and carry the box in her hands inside. As hard a she tried she couldn’t open the door. She was getting frustrated really quickly, that is, until the door swung open.

Jolene pushed her way in and dropped the box on a nearby table. She looks up with a release of a heavy breath and looks up at John. She then looks around the bar to find it cleaner than it was last night. All of the chairs were placed on the table and the floors seemed to be swept and mopped. The light that was flickering last night was replaced. Even the pool table seemed to be polished.

“Let me guess, trouble sleeping? Nightmares?” she asks him. He nods and turns his focus back to the bar. “They’ll fade away. I promise.”

John turns back to her and looks back at the box. She smiles at him and taps the lid of the cardboard box.

“I come bearing gifts.” She says as she opens it. Jolene beckons him forward and he takes a few steps toward her. “Danny, you know the one who rudely called you out last night, he apologizes. He admits that when he drinks a little too much, he becomes an asshole. So in a form of an apology, he sent you clothes. They’re from his son who left for a full ride football scholarship to Penn State. He said, big clothes for a big guy.”

Jolene then pulled out the shirts and jackets from the box. She held a flannel up to him and measured. She nodded to her own question noting that the shirt would fit. Jolene looked up to John to see him confused.

“Come on,” she tells him. “These are for you to keep. Why don’t have a look at them?”

John does as she’s instructed and steps closer to the box. He picks through the box and put aside what he liked and what seemed to fit. At some point he held a tank top up and Jolene quickly snatched that away.

“I’ll put that away for a more warmer day…” she mumbles putting it back in the box. Jolene hadn’t looked through the box and now she regretted not doing so. She was trying to minimize any sort of emphasis to his metal arm. Jolene noticed that he went out of his way to hide it. So she tried her best to ignore that detail and reduce any attention that could come to it.

“You’ve seen it and you haven’t asked about it. Why?” he asks her. She just shrugged her shoulders at him and closed the box up.

“You’ll tell me when you’re ready.” Jolene answers. “I won’t ask earlier then when that time comes.”

“Thank you,” he mumbled grateful to her response. He picked up the clothes and looks up at her. “I’ll go put these away and be back down for breakfast.”

Jolene watched him go and sighed. She put the box away and turned off the security around the bar. She made her way to the storage room and knocked three times on the wall. After a few seconds, she heard three knocks back. Jolene smiled and made her way back to the bar. In a few minutes the bell rung and she looked up to see Piper walking in with two containers.

“Thank you dear,” she says as she grabs them from her and places them on the counter. She then turns to the register and opens it. “How much do I owe ya?”

“Don’t worry about it.” She answers. “It’s on the house.”

Jolene turned back to Piper, a 17 year old who worked on the diner next door, and took notice of her glances to the staircase. She smiled at the teenager’s curiosity and had known that John’s stay wasn’t going to be a secret for long.

“So Pipes, what are you still waiting here for?” she asks her. “I bet your mom wants you back in the diner.”

“You know what I’m waiting for.” She replies eagerly. “I heard from my dad that you got a new recruit. I just want to take a peak at him.”

“Piper…” Jolene says in a warning tone.

“Come on,” the teenager eggs on. “I heard he’s cute.”

“Let me take a guess, you heard that from your father too.” Jolene jokes. Piper laughs and pulls down a bar stool to sit on.

“No, of course not.” She answers. “I just asked Dana from across the street. She saw him cleaning late last night.”

Jolene shook her head at the kid and opened up the to-go boxes.

“So… he’s cute, strong, and apparently helpful. When are you going to seal the deal?” Piper asks her. Jolene just laughed and looked up at the girl.

“Piper you can’t be asking things like that.”

“I’m old enough to know how things work. Girl meets boy. Boy meets girl. They both fall in love and it’s a happily ever after.”

“Real life isn’t a movie, kid.” She replies. “Besides I have rules and I listen to them. The most important one is never date the one’s I’m helping.”

“Yeah, you always say that but when are you going to go out and meet a guy? You practically live in this bar.”

“ _Crossroads_ is my life, Piper. I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Jolene tells her. Piper just sighed and Jolene knew that she was upset with her. “Fine, I’ll make you a deal.” Piper’s face lit up when she said this. “You find me a nice guy, handsome, around my age…then we’ll talk about me dating. Does that sound good to you?”

“Sounds perfect to me.” Piper states. “Call me Piper Jones, small town matchmaker.”

Jolene laughed at the girl and threw a rag on her face.

“Good luck finding me my Prince Charming. I have high standards Piper. High standards.”

“What is this about standards?” a deep voice asked them. Jolene turns to find John walking into the bar and stands beside her. She blushes as she turns to Piper who’s staring at him in awe.

“Dana was so wrong. He’s not cute. He’s hot!”

“Piper please shut your mouth.” Jolene said embarrassed as she turned back to John. “I’m sorry, she has a tendency to say whatever comes to her mind. This is Piper…”

“I’m Piper Jones.” Piper interrupts her. “I’m practically your next door neighbor. You can come knocking on my door for a cup of sugar any time you like.”

“Shall I remind you that you’re underage.” Jolene states before turning back to John. “Don’t take her up on that. She’s yeah… Anyways Piper, I’m pretty sure your mother is searching for you. Thank her for breakfast too.”

Piper was about to say something but Jolene gave her a stern look and Piper without another word made her way out of the bar. Jolene sheepishly smiled at John hoping he hadn’t heard all of their conversation. Thing is, he did but he wasn’t going to mention it. That was her privacy and he was going to let her keep it.

“So breakfast is on the counter. Piper’s mom owns the diner next door and she caters to me all of the time. Just knock on the wall three times and she’ll send whatever’s ready over.” Jolene instructs him. “And let’s hope she’ll send someone other than Piper over. She’ll talk your ear off.”

John actually laughed at this, which surprised Jolene. His laughter was low and deep, unused. Jolene promised herself that she’ll make him laugh more often so his laugh wouldn’t sound so rusty. After putting that on her mental list she motioned for them to eat and they did.

“This is really good.” John told her motioning to the pancakes.

“Yeah, Piper’s mom was top of her class at her culinary school and she still settled for her family’s dinner. Just like most people in this town they learn great things and come back to teach it to those who never get to experience it.” 

“Is that what you did?”

“Yeah, I guess. I am licensed to be a therapist but the thing with people is that they don’t like to ask for help and they don’t like to admit they need help. So opening up a bar was the next best thing. People get drunk and they confess their problems. I then help them through it.”

“Just like you help people like me through it.”

“Yeah, that’s if you’re asking for help.” Jolene states. She never knew where she was with the soldier. One second he was on board with staying, another he was ready to tuck tail and leave. She needed to be sure this is what he wanted. Jolene stared at him and asked him the ultimate question. “So are you accepting my help? For real now?”

“I…I trust you.” John said slowly.

Jolene was once again caught by surprise by John.

“Are you sure?” she asks him. John just nods at her. “This means you’re staying for good. Like, you move in upstairs for sure. You help me around the bar every night. And you most likely will be getting hit on by our neighboring ladies and Piper. Are you sure you’re up for that?”

“Me being popular to the ladies doesn’t seem like a bad thing.”

Jolene laughed at this and smiled at his responsiveness. He even made a joke. This was good progress. 

“You seem more comfortable.” She tells him. “I think this is going to work really well.”

James liked hearing that. He hoped that this slight risk of staying might help him mend his broken mind before finding his next sanctuary. Jolene picked up their plates and threw them away. She smiled back at John.

“Let me tell you something. It might sound like a good thing being the main attraction for the ladies but I should warn you this street is filled with old widows and teenagers. You won’t find much attraction here unless that’s your thing…cougars and a whole lot of illegal.”

James laughed at that and Jolene heard his laughter getting stronger. She smiled at that and turns back to him.

“Laughing. We need you to laugh more.” She tells him. “So let’s start there. What makes you happy John?”

 --------------

The answer to that question always revolved around three things.

Booze, women, and fighting.

She of course denied them the first two. Alcohol was a depressant. Yes it helped people forget and gave others the courage to jump on tables and dance but it was still a depressant. The morning after proved it to be with the aching hangovers and disturbing memories.

As for the women part, she never dated the people she was helping. It was a profession rule. There was also the reason that she wasn’t that kind of girl and she had _high standards,_ whatever that means. Either way, these soldiers always claimed to want the company of a woman but they were never ready when it came to it. There PTSD or just the simple act of talking to the girl made them revert back to their solitary ways. So it was the last choice that she always came through with.

Just a block away was a gym. It was fairly new. There was an indoor track and weights. Running machines and bicycles for anyone to use. There was also a pool for the swimmers and what made it perfect for Jolene and her soldiers, was the fighting ring.

Once she caught word of it she made sure to strike a deal with the owner of the gym. He gave her full access to his gym, no membership fees, as long as he got free beer at the bar. She complied with his simple demand and she hasn’t regretted it since.

Jolene decided to shut the bar for the night. It was Sunday anyways so it wasn’t much of a crowd. After seeing him work through Saturday without a relapse she thought he was ready to take a small walk towards the gym. It was about 8 o’clock so there wasn’t much of a crowd on the streets. She made sure to stay close to John as they made their way to the gym.

The soldier followed beside her. She didn’t tell him where they were going and he was a bit nervous about that. He didn’t like being kept in the dark and it made him remember Hydra’s secrecy. Jolene didn’t know this. She just thought it would be good to surprise him. Jolene didn’t know a lot about his past and the soldier was starting to think it was becoming dangerous to not tell her. She didn’t even know what she was signing herself up when it came to him. The danger that he was bringing.

He was ready to just sprint out of there. He was more than capable in outrunning her. She wouldn’t be able to stop him anyways. Her fighting skills were slightly above amateur. These thoughts were running through his head and he realized the panging feeling of guilt. He didn’t want it to come to a fighting situation. James desperately didn’t want to hurt her but the Winter Soldier would be fine with it. He shook the thoughts of escape. He told her he wanted her help and he desperately needed it. Escape plans disappeared from his head as he watched her.

Jolene’s hair was put up in a ponytail. She walked with an extra bounce on her step and he knew that wherever she was taking him was the reason she was so happy. Jolene gave a greeting nod to those who passed them. He noticed how she would find a way to deter him from them and he was glad that she did. They round a corner and her smile grew bigger. She grabbed onto his metal arm in excitement. He flinched but she didn’t notice. Instead Jolene motioned to the building in front of them.

_McEvoy Fitness Gym_

John read the red painted letters over and over again. He turns to Jolene who’s still smiling at him and notices his confusion.

“I asked you what made you happy.” Jolene tells him. “You said you didn’t remember but you can never go wrong with statistics and common sense. You’re a soldier and you’re used to combat. I’m not saying I’m going to throw you into a fight but I’m going to actually throw you into a fight.”

He did not like the sound of that but Jolene’s laugh made him relax. She knew what was going on through his mind and she knew it was time to show him what she was talking about. She unlocked the door to the gym and flicked on all of the lights. Jolene then motioned to the fighting ring in the corner of the room.

“What do you think?” she asks him. John looked at her unsure. “Ok I know it seems like nothing since it’s just us. I’ll admit I won’t be much of a partner since you obviously have more training and are way stronger than I am but it’s a start. I’ll see if one of my friends will volunteer to fight with you and…”

“No. I’m not ready for this yet.” He states quickly. The soldier steps away from the ring and Jolene looks at him concerned.

“John there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“I can hurt someone.”

“And you can hurt yourself if you keep on holding your emotions inside. The exercise, the act of sparring…it helps put all that anger and fear away physically. It helps express your feelings when you can’t put it in words.”

John still looked apprehensive to her explanation.

“I’m not going to push you into the ring, John.” She tells him. “We’ll take baby steps if that’s what you want. There are punching bags in the closet. You can use that for now and then we can move on to a strong physical trainer to spar with. Does that sound good to you?”

He just grunted at her and gave her a small nod. She smiled at that and patted him on the shoulder. Jolene then made her way to the door and the soldier panicked.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going for a run.” She says pulling out her phone and earphones. “I’ll be upstairs. Whenever you’re done you can come get me.”

He nodded at this and Jolene gave him an encouraging smile before heading upstairs to the indoor track.

James looked up to find Jolene running upstairs to what he assumed was a track. He felt at ease knowing that she was visible to him. He wasn’t sure if it was a fear of being backstabbed or because he was worried for her safety. James looked away not wanting to get caught watching and decided to follow Jolene’s advice. He grabbed a punching bag from the closet and hooked it up. He didn’t bother wrapping his hands because a part of him missed the feeling of pain. He thought he deserved it. 

James didn’t want to admit that there were things disturbing him but the truth was that there was. Every punch he gave to the bag seemed to relax him. It seemed to make him forget. The act of throwing punches was actually therapeutic to him. Jolene was right in that aspect but he knew he would never be ready to engage into combat with someone else. James knew when to stop, the Winter Soldier did not and soon he took over.

The punches became much stronger and faster. All of his anger, his fear, were fueling him and the Winter Soldier easily took over his mind.

Strength. Fear. Death. Murder. Darkness.

He didn’t notice that he was struggling to breath. He didn’t notice how the punching bag was barely able to keep up with the punches. The Winter Soldier didn’t notice but James did and he was desperately trying to fight back for control.

Jolene ran a couple of laps before slowing down to a light jog. She looked down to find John going all out on the punching bag. She stopped and watched him with worry. He was angrier than most but he didn’t show it. Jolene stared at his face and saw how it was thoughtful one second and then murderous the next. The punches came quicker and stronger. She watched him in fearful awe. All of a sudden, through the mess of punches, the punching bang was swung across the room.

“Oh my God…” she whispers. John looks at the bag and then up at her. She couldn’t find the words to say and instead sprinted downstairs. Once she got to the fighting ring she saw John quickly retreating out of the gym.

“John, wait!” she shouts sprinting after him. She reaches for his shoulder. “Please wait…”

Once her hand met his shoulder, he snapped towards her. All of sudden his metal arm met her neck and pushed her against the wall. Jolene gasped for air but still manages to focus on John. His pupils were so dilated that his blue eyes encompassed in black. She was afraid but she snapped out of it.

“John, let go…” she manages to gasp out. “John it’s me, Jolene. Please let go.”

There was no sign that he was listening to her. It even seemed that there was more pressure on her neck. She closed her eyes momentarily and her gasps for air were coming shorter and quicker.

“Please let me go. Please…” she whimpered with her tears tearing up. “You’re hurting me, John. You’re really hurting me.”

Hurt.

The simple word snapped him out and the Winter Soldier was no longer in charge. James looked down and saw Jolene’s red face. His eyes then trail down to his silver hand clutching tightly on her neck. He quickly removed his hand and stared at it. James alternated his focus on her and his hand. He stumbles away from her and his legs give out under him. The broken soldier starts to crawl away from her and his back meets the fighting ring.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to…I am so sorry…” James stutters out. The Winter Soldier grew angry at his weakness but James was to emotionally attached to the situation that it didn’t allow the other guy to step in. 

Jolene watched the transition and realized how deep-rooted the problems with John were. That made her chest tighten with fear but it also made her more determined to help him. She took a very needed deep breath and strokes the sensitive skin on her neck. It would bruise but that’s nothing a little make-up wouldn’t fix. Jolene then slowly made her way to John who was whispering apologies to her. She kneeled in front of him and took his metal hand away from his focus. She placed his hand beside him and then forced his face to look at her. She wiped the tears that were threatening to fall and gave him a small smile.

“I’m fine, John.” She tells him. “I’m fine.”

“I strangled you.” He says trying to crawl away from her but failing due to her moving forward. “I almost killed you.”

“But you didn’t. You were able to stop, John.” She states. “You didn’t want to hurt me and you were able to stop.”

John shook his head at her and placed his hands on his eyes adding slight pressure. James head hurt with the surge of emotion and the constant fight of staying in control. Jolene placed her hand on his forearm and rubbed circles in attempts to soothe him.

“I know how to help you now.” Jolene states. “I know what’s bothering you.”

James looks up at her unsure of what she thought she knew and what this meant for him. Hope and fear was all he felt when he saw her staring down at him with a small smile.

“PTSD was obvious from the start.” Jolene states. “Most soldiers have them when they come back home.”

“The second diagnosis, it took a while for me to pinpoint. It seems you have some sort of personality disorder. I’ve noticed some bi-polar characteristics, switching from times of mania and depression. But tonight…Tonight, I saw how you seem to switch personalities as well and the bi-polar aspect could be connected to this.”

“There’s the John I know who’s afraid of hurting people and tries to keep the anger in control and then there’s the other guy who wants to inflict pain and let his anger show. That guy tried to kill me but you stopped him.”

“I didn’t save you,” James states. “I put you in danger in the first place.”

“But John, you _did_ save me.” Jolene replies. “You came back and saved me. I know what triggers this side of you so you're no longer a threat to anyone. I know what brings you back.”

James stared at her confused. He didn’t understand what she meant as a trigger. All he knew was that causing her pain snapped him back. He didn’t think that was a good trigger seeing that he almost killed her in order for it to work. Jolene placing a hand to his normal hand made his train of thought disappear.

“Everything’s going to be fine, John.” Jolene says giving him a bigger smile. “I know what to do now.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now that he knows who he is, or at least a name and a general consensus, I decided to worsen his situation. I know, I'm just a horrible person. Anyways, now that he knows his real name I thought it would make sense that it came with another conscious, a more defined personality. 
> 
> There's James, the good side of him, the side that feels, that knows between good and wrong, a growing protective sentiment for Jolene. 
> 
> Every good needs a balanced bad and that's where the Winter Soldier comes in. This is the side that's angry and hurt, that is purely evil. He's strong and he believes that being emotionless is being strong. He doesn't pity the weak, he crushes it. 
> 
> Yet there are times when both personalities crash and intermix with each other. I use "the soldier" as a general term and as a conjoined personality between the Winter Soldier and Bucky. He follows the orders, he feels, his anger is matched with fear. 
> 
> There's a lot of small symbols that support this idea. Like the balance of good and evil in the world can relate to Bucky's split personality. There is also some slight foreshadowing and other hidden jewels through my writing if you haven't noticed (i try to make them crystal clear but sometimes I can't help myself in being ominous.)
> 
> So yeah...that's my ideas right now. Or explanations about my ideas and some insight on the future updates. I hope you're enjoying it and comment with any questions if you have them. 
> 
> Oh and I also have this really fun idea for the reveal of his real name so I'm going to use John for who knows how long until I find the perfect spot to write the scene.


	3. These Are A Few of My Favorite Things

There hadn’t been any kind of breakdown since the punching bag. If there were, John didn’t let her know. Jolene only had a small window to see his improvement. Those windows were the lunches she would bring, the nights at the bar, and the after work workouts. John seemed to be adjusting very well but she couldn’t be too sure about that.

He hadn’t talked much after the punching bag incident and she was worried he wouldn’t talk to her soon. So her next thing on her list was to make him talk to her. Perhaps get his real name, a favorite color, or a favorite movie. Yet every attempt Jolene made for conversation was cut short. It was as if John was trying to prevent revealing any information about himself. Jolene didn’t know how right she was.

James kept himself in check the past few days. Jolene had been trying to make him open up but he knew he couldn’t do that. There were things he was remembering that startled him. The things he did, the people he murdered, and the innocents that got in the way. James was disgusted with himself and his night terrors revolved hurting the one person that seemed to care about him.

The Winter Soldier seemed to be affected by this too. He seemed to have grown fond by the bartender with whiskey colored eyes and fire in her soul. The Soldier found her humorous. Jolene’s banter with the men at her bar was always something he enjoyed. She was quick and witty, knowing how to shut down their jokes pretty quickly. Jolene also knew how to fight, though not at his capacity, but it was something. So when he managed to close his eyes for sleep, James and the Winter Soldier feared for the life of their new friend.  

A week had passed with these thoughts in everyone’s minds. It was Tuesday night; John and Jolene were working the bar as usual. The only people there were Danny, Chris, and Eric. There were always here but mainly for the young girl they all considered their daughter. Danny and Eric’s kids were off in college while Chris had Piper. Either way, Jolene was the youngest business owner on the block. Everyone kept an eye out for her, which was why the three men were there today. They didn’t trust the new guy especially after Jolene bought Eric a new punching bag because the new guy had ripped through the other one.

They were all drinking slowly and not too much since they had jobs to get to early in the morning. Jolene seeing it was a slow night was cleaning up early and John was helping her unload the new load of German beers she decided to try out. The only noise at the bar was the song coming from Jolene’s stereo and the light chatter between the three men. Jolene stared at them knowing that something was up with them since their eyes would always stray back to her and John.

Jolene knew what was coming. They did this every time she housed a soldier. They would stay come every night and would stay till closing time. She loved them all to death for their concern for her but it could get annoying. She cleaned her glasses out as she stared at Danny, Chris, and Eric made there way to the counter.

“Hey Johnnie boy, I’ll like another round for me an my friends.” Danny shouts out. John looks at Jolene and then back at Danny. He does what he’s been told and pulls out beers from the fridge. John then hands it to them and notices their lingering stares. Jolene bumps her hip against his and offers him a smile.

“They’re trying to scare you and it’s obviously not working,” Jolene says glaring at the three men in front of her. John looks back at the men and notices that they weren’t happy about being called out like that.

“I can take them.” John states back at her.

“Oh really?” Danny asks back skeptically. “You can take all three of us?”

“Danny…” Jolene says in a warning tone.

“Yes, in fact I can.” John replies.

“Why don’t you prove it then?” Danny asks him standing up from his seat. Eric and Chris were trying to pull him back down but it was no use, Danny wanted a fight. James was struggling to push down the Winter Soldier who wanted to take up the challenge. Jolene quickly grabbed a hold of him.

“John, he’s being his usual stupid self. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.” Jolene tells him. She knew very well how this would end up and was trying to keep her friends and the soldier himself safe. “He’s someone I care about John. It would hurt me if you fight him.”

James hearing this backs down. Danny seems to snap out of his drunken state and gulps gladly that the soldier didn’t accept his challenge.

“Danny, I think you should go home.” Jolene states staring at him. She then turns her gaze to Eric and Chris. “Can you make sure he gets home safe?”

“Sure thing,” Chris answers and Eric takes a hold of Danny before dragging him out of the bar. Jolene turns back to John whose hands are in fists. She grabs his gloved hand, the one that hid his metal hand, and manages to uncurl his fingers.

“I think we could both use a drink.” Jolene whispers. She walks over to the shelf and grabs a bottle of scotch and two glasses. Jolene then puts the glasses in front of them and pours an ounce. She then hands John a glass and takes her own. She clinks her glass against his before downing hers quickly. James did the same thing but felt no burning when he knew he should. Jolene shakes her head slightly feeling that burn but sighs in contempt.

“Way to take the high road,” Jolene tells him. “Danny can be an idiot when he’s drunk.”

“An asshole and an idiot.” James replies. “Such good qualities.”

Jolene laughs at that and serves them another shot.

“Yeah, he’s just being overprotective. They all are actually. They think I can’t hold my own.” Jolene tells him.

“Well they’re wrong. I’ve seen how you can handle yourself.” James replies.

“Really?” Jolene asks him. “Do you think I can hold my own against you?”

James looks away and drinks the second shot. He smiles down at the empty glass before turning back at her.

“Maybe,” he answers.

“I seriously doubt that.” Jolene tells him. “But it’s nice to know you think I can.”

Jolene closes the bottle and takes the empty glasses into the sink. She would wash them tomorrow but for now she just wanted to talk to John. She wanted to get more out of him so she turns back to him and smiled.

“Do you want to go to the gym tonight or should we skip?” she asks him. John just shrugged his shoulders so Jolene was left with the decision. “Let’s skip then.”

Jolene then grabbed two beers and uncapped them. She gave one to John and raised the volume on her stereo. She then moved to a table and sat down. John followed after her and sat down across from her.

“You need to talk to me, you know?” Jolene tells him. “It’ll help you settle whatever goes on in that head of yours.”

James just grunted and took a sip from his beer. He didn’t want to say anything but he knew he would have to at some point. He placed the beer bottle on the table and looked up at her.

“I don’t know what to talk about.”

“Ok, well how about your real name? Can you tell me that?” Jolene asks him. He looks away from her and Jolene took the hint. “Fine, what about your favorite color? Or favorite book? Or anything that you like.”

“I don’t see much use in a favorite color and I don’t read much.”

“What about movies? Do you watch any movies?” she asks him.

“No, I don’t.” James replies.

“Music?”

“Nope.”

“Favorite food?”

“Can’t remember.”

“You got to help me out here,” Jolene states tired of his deflection. “I’m trying to get to know you. Help you get comfortable in this little shack. You have to give me something to go on.”

“I didn’t have anything before this.” James starts to say. “Just having something to do, something to eat, somewhere to sleep…is good enough for me.”

Jolene frowned at this and James thought he said something wrong.

“You deserve so much better than this.” Jolene whispers at him. James looked at her confused. Surely she didn’t mean that. “You served our country and came back. You deserve a medal, a home, something…”

James stiffened as he heard this. He didn’t deserve anything. In fact, he deserved an eternity in hell for the blood that would eternally stain his hands. Jolene shouldn’t be looking at him that way. Her eyes only stared at him with sadness and pity when she should be staring at him with fear and disgust. James stood up from the table abruptly and Jolene looked up at him confused.

“I should go to bed. It’s pretty late.”

Jolene knew he was running away again but wasn’t up to stopping him. She gave him a simple nod and John left. She picked up the empty beer bottles and threw them out. Jolene then set up the security system, grabbed her things, and left. Her mind replayed the conversation. One more subject to the _do not discuss_ pile, serving his country.

 ----------------

The night after, Jolene made sure to cut Danny off after a couple of beers and kicked him and his crew out before they decided to bother John again. So once again, they were left alone and it seemed that John was ready to run out. Jolene made sure to block the exit as he tried to make his way to the stairs.

“Come on, we’re going to the gym.” Jolene states. John just stares at her and Jolene gave him a small smile. “Skipping was a one time thing. I need to get you out of this bar more often so we’re going to the gym.”

Having no other choice, John nodded and Jolene stepped out of his way so he could change. While he did that, Jolene took out her bag and changed into her workout gear. She placed her wavy brown hair in a braid and double-knotted her tennis shoes. By then, John was done and he waited for her to lock up before they made the short walk to the gym.

Like before, Jolene made sure to distance him from whoever was walking down the street that night. They weren’t many people out at this time of night and James smiled at her attempt to protect him. They made it to the gym and Jolene unlocked the doors. James turned on the lights and falling back to their routine, she headed upstairs for her run while he took out his anger out on the punching bag.

James kept himself in check when he was using the punching bag. Jolene would keep a close eye on him as she ran in the track upstairs. After a few minutes with the bag, he would put it away and joined her on the track upstairs. She would put away her music when he did and though they didn’t talk, she still wanted to show him that she was ready to listen. They ran beside each other matching their paces together. The Winter Soldier knew he could go faster and endure longer than the girl beside him but he liked how she pushed herself to meet his pace even though she was nowhere near it.

Once James realized she was growing tired he would stop and they called it a day. Jolene would turn off the lights and locked up the place before setting their walk back to the bar. As usual, they walked in silence but Jolene was determined to have a longer conversation with him.

“You don’t talk much about yourself.” Jolene states. James stiffens knowing what was to come but it never came. “I’m not going to push you into telling me your life story. Not until your ready to tell me but I can’t wait forever so…I’ll just tell you about myself and hopefully that’ll give you some inspiration to talk to me.”

Jolene looked at John to see his reaction but his face was void of any emotion.

“Ok, I guess I should start from the beginning.” Jolene says searching her mind for words. “I was an only child with two loving parents. My dad was a general in the army and my mother was the typical army wife, waiting for him to get back home. I loved my dad, the small memories I have of him anyways. My mother was the only constant in my life. She was my best friend... Anyways things happened. Life went on. My dad came back home and he died. Shortly after, my mom died too.”

“Tony is the only person I had left after all of that. He took it upon himself to send me to college and graduate school. I see him on the holidays and sometimes he’ll take it upon himself to come visit me here. He tries to protect me from the media so it’s rare for me to see him but he always calls and I’m grateful for that. It makes me feel less alone.”

“So after graduating, I did some internships. I helped run group therapies. I wrote a few theses, helped with experiments, and had offers for jobs but it didn’t seem right. I settled in this small town in hopes I could figure out what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to help people and my doctorate was in Psychology, I just didn’t know where to start. For some reason, I decided to open up the bar. Tony helped me with some costs and here I am now. I help soldiers like you who come my way and I help drunken men beg forgiveness to their wives. I might not be helping much but it’s something.”

Jolene didn’t want to say more after that. She could have gone into more detail but the bar was just around the corner. She turns to John who seems to be processing her life story. Jolene wondered why he seemed so concentrated but was glad that he took some interest in her life. They made it to the door and she unlocked it for him. John was stepping inside but Jolene grabbed his arm.

“Oh and my favorite color is red. My favorite food is pizza. My favorite movie is between Tim Burton’s animated films or Goodfellas. I don’t have a favorite book because there too many good ones to pick and as for music… I don’t know. Music’s always changing but something soft and calm, something to get lost into, something to dance to…that’s my favorite I guess.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” James asks her.

“I asked you yesterday what you liked and it was either no or you didn’t know so I thought I’ll tell you what I liked and maybe you could come up with an answer.”

James looked at her skeptically but she just smiled at him.

“Goodnight John. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

With that Jolene left him at the bar and made her walk home. James watched her retreating figure go wondering why he memorized every single thing she said she liked.


	4. Nicknames

            No one was walking in the streets as Jolene and James made their way back to the bar. It was that time of night that everyone were inside in their beds. Unlike those people, Jolene would usually be closing up the bar after cleaning it. She then would make her way to her apartment that was just a few blocks away.

            As for John, it was either a night full of nightmares or another night of cleaning the bar for Jolene. The latter was the most common occurrence since that’s what he’s done the past few late nights/mornings. He knew he couldn’t keep going like this but there was nothing he could do.

            Jolene and John walked beside each other not saying a word. They had run a couple of miles today and as usual no word were spoken. She did engage him in some conversations but he usually shut down pretty quickly. Jolene didn’t mind it. She knew that it would take him a while before he’s truly comfortable to speak to her. Jolene promised him not to push him and she always kept her word.

            The walk came to an end when they rounder the corner. Jolene was ready to unlock the door to the bar when John’s arm pulled her against the wall. She panicked once again expecting the other side of him staring back at her but it was the same John. She turns her head and realizes why he was rough with her because walking straight towards them were three guys dressed in all black.

            She noticed the glimmer of a knife in the leader’s hand. Another one held a bat and she wouldn’t think past her that one of them held a gun. Her breath hitched and she stared back at John afraid of what he might to do. The stress of the situation could trigger the other personality or cause him to have a memory relapse.

            James desperately grasped for control. He wanted to be the one to face them but he wouldn’t be strong enough. The Winter Soldier could do it. He was strong and fast, but he was murderous. James struggled with the decision. He noticed Jolene’s concerned look but he didn’t realize that she was concerned for him.

            “Stay here,” he told her. John sounded husky and his voice was more like a growl. It didn’t sound human.

            Jolene was pushed behind John and she tried to find the words to diffuse the situation. She wanted to tell him that they should just run inside the bar and call the police but the chances where minimizing with the gang getting closer and closer. Jolene also noticed how John’s face started to shift and she knew he was no longer in control. Just one small glance made her want to shrink but the guys still approached him anyways.

            “Open the door, lady.” The leader states motioning to the door. He waved the knife trying to make a point that he was dangerous. The Winter Soldier rolled his eyes at his foolish attempt.

            “I can do that. Just don’t hurt me or my friend here.” Jolene says putting her hands up and making her way to the door. The leader stepped up to make sure she wasn’t trying anything but John blocked him.

            “Can I help you with something?”

            “Yeah, actually you can…” the soldier said and before Jolene could realize what was happening, John had quickly disarmed him and punched him to the ground. The soldier spins the knife in his hand skillfully. “I’ll like for you to leave the dame alone.”

            Jolene drops her keys to the ground as she hears this. John had practically initiated a fight and she grew worried as the lackeys step forward. The swinging of the bat was so fast that she almost didn’t catch it if it weren’t for John stopping the swing in mid-air. The lackey tried to force the bat out of his hold but it was pointless. His metal arm only enhanced his strength. The soldier then threw the knife to the lackey’s leg causing him to drop to the ground. One strong kick knocked him unconscious.

            The third lackey looked between his friends and back at the soldier with shaking fear. Without a pause, he broke out into a sprint and disappeared around a corner. The soldier was ready to go after him when Jolene placed a hand around his shoulder. He was ready to growl at Jolene when a gasp for air caught his attention. He quickly turns around and finds Jolene being held at gunpoint by the leader who had managed to recover quickly. He saw how she swallowed in fear. She stared at him with a look that told him not to intervene.

            “We just wanted the money but you just had to make it a murder too.”

            “Don’t kill her. She didn’t do anything.” He replies.

            “She’s too pretty. In fact, I think I might have some fun with her. So of course I’m not going to kill her.” The leader says brushing the gun down her face. “You on the other hand…”

            The gun moves from Jolene to the soldier. The gang leader turns the safety off and his finger lands on the trigger. Jolene took a deep breath and the soldier knew he was no match against a close bullet. Things seemed to turn into slow motion. A shot was fired but so was a punch and kick.

            Jolene swung her leg back and it met a kneecap. The bullet shot forward and grazed the Winter Soldier’s left arm. Jolene then spun back and punched the gang leader in the nose, fracturing it. She then took his arm twisted it in an awkward angle and slammed him against the brick wall. The gun falls to the ground and she kicks it away.

            “Having fun?” she asks him. “Because I sure am.”

            Jolene didn’t wait for a response as she grabbed a fist full of hair and slammed him against the wall. She then let him drop to the floor unconscious. Jolene let out a heavy breath and looks up at John.

            “I’ll call Sheriff Andy to come pick these idiots up,” Jolene muttered all of a sudden tired. She picked her keys up and opened the door of the bar. She pulled out her phone and made the call. James went upstairs avoiding anything that had to do with the police. They’ll surely recognize him so he let Jolene make the call as he sat on his bed tiredly.

            He didn’t realize when he slipped out and the Winter Soldier slipped in. What he did know was that the soldier didn’t do this just for him; he did it for Jolene too. The Winter Soldier was very impressed on how she managed her own against the leader. She had saved his life. James gained control after that and smiled knowing that whatever was happening to his brain might have become less jumbled. James was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Jolene step in.

            “The sheriff just took them away. Apparently we stopped the Dark Musketeers. These guys have been stealing from the nearby shops. They couldn’t fight all three of them at the same time so you and I made a pretty good team and saved the day.” Jolene states. James looks up at her and noticed the faraway expression she held. She shakes her head and closes her eyes tightly. “You shouldn’t have gone through that. We were making progress and now I screwed it up with some gang attacking us in the safest place I could think of.”

            James didn’t say anything unsure of what to tell her but she continued to talk.

            “I saw you switch again. This time it was different. You were attacking but not at full force and you didn’t risk anything when the gang leader had me as a hostage. I saw your eyes flicker with concern. You were there but not there.”

            “I think they’re blurring together…” James says finding the words. “Him and I…we were striving for the same goal. Protecting myself. Protecting you.”

            “Those are your triggers.” She states putting everything together. She remembered the first night at the gym and had made a theory but now she wasn’t to sure she was right. Jolene had primarily thought that John’s trigger was causing people pain but it seems to have grown into more than that. “At first I thought your trigger was you _hurting_ me but now I know it was because you were hurting _me._ ”

            “I’m the trigger for you while being put in harms way, the need for survival, is the trigger for the other guy…the soldier.”

            James nodded at this agreeing with her. He didn’t know why the Winter Soldier had stopped the attacks and let him back in but he knew it came down towards her. The girl that was hell bent in saving his life.

            Jolene was still trying to wrap her mind around these things. She didn’t know how she felt about being John’s anchor. She was flattered of course but this made things more difficult. She didn’t understand how he so quickly attached himself to her and she couldn’t comprehend what led him to this point. Jolene was just the owner of a bar with a degree in Psychology and a tendency to home homeless veterans. Jolene’s thoughts were all over the place but through the disarray of it all she noticed the hole in John’s jacket.

            “Oh my God, you got shot.”

            Jolene steps towards him and takes his arms in her hands. She was ready to look through the hole for the damage when John reached his hands to it and tore the jacket’s entire sleeve off. Jolene froze when her hand met the metal coolness of his arm. A red star was painted on the bicep and the metal plates seemed to shift with every movement he made. She saw where the metal arm met the line of human skin. This was the first time she’s seen his arm up close.

            She knew he was watching for her reaction. Her hand moved up his arm and saw the simple scratch the bullet had made. Jolene passed her finger to the scratch and then let him go.

            “I’ll buy you another hoodie. I know you like those…” she says ignoring his metal arm entirely. James knew she was avoiding it for his sake but after tonight he was ready to talk more.

            “Why don’t you ask about it?” he asks her. Jolene looks up at him startled.

            “I’m not sure you’re ready yet. After everything that happened tonight.”

            “I’m ready to talk about it.” James tells her. Jolene swallowed and nodded.

            “May I?” she asks him holding her hands up to touch his arm. She didn’t want to overstep the trust he was extending by just grabbing him so she decided to ask him. He nods and watches as her hands start with his hand. Her small hands inspected the plates and fingers. They move up his arms and he feels her squeeze. He smiles at that and Jolene looks up at him. “Did you feel that?”

            “Yeah…there’s um…there’s some sensory type of thing they did when they put it on me.”

            “So you felt me squeeze and you can feel my hand move…” she states dragging her hand up his arm. James nodded at that.

            “I can feel your hand move. I can feel the warmth of your hand but I can’t feel your softness, I mean…”

            “You don’t feel like you would with skin and skin contact. I guess that makes sense.” Jolene concludes as she continues to inspect his arm. She had a thousand questions running in her mind. She wondered how he got injured, how he got this advanced technology prosthetic, and why there was a star painted on his arm like some sort of brand. Jolene didn’t ask any of these questions waiting for him to tell her. Her curiosity will have to wait.

            “Why are you so ashamed of it?” she asks him. This question didn’t refer to his past and instead focused on his feelings so she thought it was good to ask. James looked away unsure of how to say what he felt in words.

            “I guess… I umm, well this arm just serves of a remainder of what happened to me and what I did afterwards. It’s a long story to get into and I don’t think you want to hear it.”

            “That’s what I’m here for John,” she tells him. “I’m here to listen but I can see you’re not ready so I won’t push you into telling me.”

            Jolene left John to his own thoughts as she finished her inspection on the arm. She had thought that his metal arm would be heavier but it seemed to be just the right weight. Her hands continued their way up and she pushed the remains of his jacket aside as her eyes found the seam where metal met human skin. Her fingers traced the border and James shutter visibly. Jolene quickly pulls her hand away afraid that she might have hurt him.

            “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” she starts to apologize but John looks up and interrupts her.

            “It’s a sensitive area. It’s always been…I just never had someone else…” James tries to explain but he pushes down the hoodie to hide the seam. Jolene doesn’t wait for an answer knowing what he was trying to say.

            “I get it,” she states. Jolene had seen enough and felt like she just uncovered another part of him even though it was a very small part. She looks over at him and sees the exhaustion in his eyes and she knew it had to do more than the late workouts and the excitement from tonight. She knew he was having trouble sleeping.

            “The soldiers I’ve helped before have always had trouble sleeping,” Jolene tells him. “They say the bed feels too soft, as if they were sleeping on a marshmallow. They were used to hard and uneven surfaces. Yet even when they were able to get used to the bed, nightmares plagued their dreams.”

            Jolene watched his reaction and knew she was right.

            “I’m not telling you this because I want you to open up to me but I just want you to know that you’re not alone. That this happens to people and they are able to heal from it.” Jolene took a hold on his metal and gave him a gentle squeeze. “You’ll heal from this John. I know you will.”

 ---------------

            It was a slow night and Jolene cleaned up the bar as she hummed to the song on the radio. John decided to start on tomorrow’s chores as he brought in beer crates from the storage room. He then started to unload them into the fridge and Jolene smiled at how quickly he had adapted. Danny and Chris made their way to the counter, beers in their hands, and a playful smile on their face. Jolene knew that once again they were up to no good. Especially when they’re focus wasn’t on her but on John instead.

            “Hey Johnnie boy, take a break now will ya?” Danny asks him.

            John looks at me and I just shrug my shoulder. He looks back at them unsure of what to say.

            “Come on Johnnie.” Chris continues. “We don’t bite.”

            “Don’t call me Johnnie.” He replies with a scowl. They were getting on his nerves and he knew whatever they wanted wasn’t good. James continued to work but that didn’t stop them from pestering him.

            “All work and no play makes Johnnie a dull boy.” Danny teases.

            James was ready to rip their heads off if it wasn’t for Jolene who placed a hand on his shoulder.

            “Take a break, John. They won’t stop bothering you until you drink a beer with them.” Jolene tells him as she pops the cap of a beer and hands it to him. He relaxes at her command and does as he’s told. James sighs and walks around the counter to have Danny and Chris place their arms around him.

            “So Johnnie, how’s life?” Danny asks him. James just takes a drink avoiding the question. The beer tasted familiar in his mouth but didn’t have any effect on him. Danny and Chris share a look before facing him again.

            “Come on, John. We just want to know a little more about you.” Chris tells him trying to ease the soldier in front of him. His concern was for Jolene the youngest business owner in the street.Everyone in the neighborhood, who ran companies of their own, kept an eye out for her. So every time she decided to recruit a new soldier everyone kept a closer watch. This explained Dana, the owner of the antiques store in front of Jolene’s bar, opening extra early to make sure the new soldier didn’t do anything. This also explained why Danny and Chris hadn’t left yet once again.

            “If you want to know more about the guy I can tell you an interesting fact…” Eric pulled out a chair and sat on it. He then, beer in hand, pointed at James. “This guy managed to rip through a punching bag and Jolene had to buy me a new one.”

            “That’s not true. I don’t believe you.” Chris states looking in between Eric and John. Eric just took a drink from his beer while John looked anywhere but them. “No way, you actually…what?”

            Danny proceeded to look over at John and could see how built he was. The scowl he wore right now also gave him the edge to actually break a punching bag.

            “I can see it happening,” Danny states patting John on the back in which he visibly flinched at. “He’s a big boy, a military man, of course he can rip through a punching bag.”

            Jolene noticed John’s discomfort so after she cleaned the bar counter she made their way towards them with a beer of her own.

            “Stop pestering him boys.” She states as she looks down at all of them. Jolene placed her hand on his right shoulder and gave him a comforting squeeze. “He’s still getting the hand on things.”

            James was glad for her intervention. He wouldn’t have known what to do if the Winter Soldier came out to deal with them. Jolene, changing the subject, walks over to one of the dartboards.

            “Is anyone interested in a game?” she asks with a grin. All of the men groan as she asks them, which causes her grin to grow bigger. James was confused to all of the guys reaction a simple game.

            “Jo, hon, we hate playing with you.” Danny comes out clean.

            “You’re lying. You love playing with me.” Jolene states jokingly.

            “No honestly we don’t.” Danny states again looking at Chris and Eric for confirmation. “Aren’t I right?”

            “Yeah, he’s right.” Chris replies.

            “I know not to play when I’m bound to lose.” Eric states.

            “Oh, come on guys! It’s just a simple game.” Jolene continues to plead.

            “Nothing’s a simple game with you.” Chris states. “You always force us into a bet and we always lose.”

            “And I always win. I see no harm in that.” Jolene says with a shrug and a smile. She looked at all of the men on the table who she considered like family with puppy eyes. “Please someone play with me.”

            “I will,” James says standing up. He saw no harm in playing her and it was a simple dartboard game. Besides, she couldn’t be that good but that thought disappeared as he saw all of the guys look at him with pity and surprise. No one had expected for him to step up. Jolene smiled at his acceptance of her challenge and gives him the blue darts while she had the red ones.

            “Just like you heard, a game with me always comes with a bet.” Jolene instructs him. “So I’ll make you a deal, if I win…I want a real name. John’s not doing it for me anymore.”

            James didn’t like the deal and wanted to back out but he already accepted the challenge and every part of him, himself and the Winter Soldier, wanted to win.

            “Ok, and if I win?” he asks her.

            “I don’t know. You tell me…” Jolene states.

            “You never ask for my real name ever again.” James answers. The dangers that came with his name were big and he couldn’t risk her asking his name again.

            Jolene hearing this was even more determined to win. The bar became silent as she extended her hand ready to shake on it. James looked at her hand and took it. She smiled at him again and took the necessary steps to distance herself from the dartboard. Danny and Chris stood beside the dartboard, chalk on hand, ready to watch the show. Eric remained at the table keeping his distance.

            “So the game is 301. You use your scores to subtract and get to zero. Once we get close you have to double your shot to get to zero.” Jolene explains. “Whoever gets to zero first wins, so do you wanna go first or should I?”

            “Ladies first,” James answered. Jolene shook her head at that.

            “And they say chivalry is dead.”

            Jolene took her stand and watched the board intensely. James watched her strong concentration and stance. In a quick second, the dart cut through the air and hit bulls-eye. Jolene turned to him and smiled. She winked at him before facing back the dartboard again. James grew nervous as the second dart landed next to the other, another bulls-eye. Danny, Chris, and Eric laughed at James expression.

            “And for the biggest lead…” Jolene whispers as she sends the dart into the second ring of the 20 score causing her score to be tripled. Eric whistled at that and Danny wrote down the new score 141. Jolene turned to John as she pulled out her darts. “It’s your turn.”

            Eric patted James’ back as he made his way across the dartboard. This should be easy for him, like throwing knives, like shooting a gun. James relaxed and threw the dart in his hand to the board. It was barely a bulls-eye but it was still a bulls-eye.

            “Oh, Jolene, you got some competition.” Danny states. Jolene rolled her eyes at him but wasn’t phased.

            James held the second dart in his hand and focused on the board in front of him. He eyed the 20-triple-ring and decided to go for it. The dart flew out of his hand and landed right where he wanted it. Jolene was surprised at this and even more so when the third dart landed next to it. Chris laughs at this as he wrote the new score 131.

            “I’m not done with you soldier.” Jolene states as James smirked at her. “I still have some trick up my sleeves.”

            Jolene stepped up her game and decided to risk it. Two bulls-eyes and a 19. That brought her score down to a 22. James stepped up and thought about this carefully. In an instance he got a triple 20, a triple 15, and then for the win, a double 13. Chris gladly wrote his score down as Jolene watched the board.

            “How did I…? That’s not possible.” Jolene mutters while Danny, Chris, and Eric congratulate James. Jolene turns to John not knowing how he managed to beat her. She was the queen of darts and now she lost that title.

            “I was so sure I was going to win.” Jolene states turning to them. “I was so sure I was going to get that name.”

            “Well we knew our Johnnie boy had it in him.” Danny says slapping him on the back. James rolled his eyes at them.

            “Don’t call me Johnnie.” He states looking at the men and then turning to Jolene who drank her beer. “Call me James.”

            Jolene almost choked on her beer as she heard this. Chris patted her back as she gained her composure.

            “You said what…”

            “James. My name is James.” He said more loudly.

            Jolene smiled at him.

            “I was close… I mean John/James…they both start with a J.” Jolene rambles before focusing back on him. “James. It’s nice meeting you James.”

            James couldn’t help himself as he smiled back at her. He didn’t know what led him to reveal his real name. If it was the disappointment in Jolene losing or because of the stupid nickname that John brought.

            “So I guess we can’t call you Johnnie anymore,” Danny complains. “Jim, Jimmy, Jamerson, Jamie! Jamie, that’s it.”

            James groaned at the new nickname and Jolene’s laughter tinkled in his ears.

            “Told you he’s quite an asshole when he drinks.”  


	5. Distractions

Jolene was unsure of how to address the situation. She trusted him more now that he revealed a big part of himself to her. A name and his revelation of his metal arm seemed like a big advancement. For that reason, she felt very concerned in leaving him behind. It would only be for a whole day but even the short time made her very uneasy.

“You seem distracted,” James states noticing her distant stares and unusual silence as they ran together. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” she answers. “I just have to tell you something.”

James didn’t like that statement. With her frowning expression, he felt that something was wrong. That what she was going to say next was bad news and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that.

“What do you have to tell me?” he asks.

“Umm…you know my friend Tony?” she asks and James nods. “He’s having this big farewell party for one of his friends and he’s invited me.”

“What’s wrong with that?” he asks her. She still seemed very upset and he couldn’t figure out why.

“Well, he lives in New York and if I go, I’ll be gone all day tomorrow and won’t be back till Sunday morning.” Jolene tells him. “Chris and Danny will help out with the bar tomorrow night. All you have to do is set up before they come in.”

“Ok,” James states as he stared ahead on the track.

“Ok?” she asks confused. “I thought you would be a bit nervous.”

“I can work with Chris. Danny might be another thing but I think I can handle him.” James answers. Jolene looks at him surprised.

“Ok, then. If you think you can, go ahead. If you end up changing your mind, you can take the night off until I return.” Jolene states facing forward as well.

“When are you leaving?” James asks her.

“Tomorrow at 11:00.” She replies slowing down into a light walk. “I’ll come by the bar before I leave. I’ll drop off some contact information and say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” he asks stopping. Jolene turns back to him and smiles at him.

“Well yeah,” she replies. “I’ll want to see you before I leave.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” she asks back. James just shrugged his shoulders and Jolene sighed at that. “Is it hard to believe that I care about you James?”

“A little…”

“Really?” she asks skeptically. “Shall I remind you that I have been housing and feeding you for the past month?”

“You make me sound like a stray cat.”

“Well a stray cat isn’t as high maintenance as you.” Jolene shoots back. James just scoffs and Jolene laughed. “Come on laugh, James. That was a good joke.”

James just smiled at her and she cheered happily.

“A smile, I am really making progress!” Jolene exclaims.

“That’s all you’re getting from me today,” James replies dropping the expression.

“Progress nonetheless.” Jolene states grabbing her stuff and heading down the stairs. “Perhaps tomorrow I’ll get a smile _and_ a hug.”

“Don’t push your luck.” James replies following after her. Jolene locked up the gym and they both made their way back to the bar. James was more attentive in these quiet walks back to the bar ever since they got attacked and Jolene took notice of his calculative looks up and down the street.

“So are you going to miss me?” Jolene asks him out of the blue.

James doesn’t say anything and Jolene turns to him and finds his blank expression.

“I bet you’ll miss me.”

“Maybe just a little,” he whispers staring straight ahead.

“Just a little?” she asks skeptically.

“Yeah certainly just a little…” James replies jokingly.

Jolene smiled at that and their walk continued with humorous bickering. For that second time that night, James smiled and it remained for the rest of the night.

 ---------------

As promised, Jolene made her way to the bar to say her goodbyes. Chris and Danny were there to get instructions. After they left, James decided to make his way downstairs. He found her, suitcase at her feet, and wearing clothes that he's never seen her wear before.

“I left the numbers to that Chinese place you liked on the counter and you can take some cash from the register to pay for food. I also put the number of that pizza place around the corner. Also, you're the only one who has keys to the bar and Chris and Danny will be here around 8 to help you out…” Jolene stops talking as James looked at her in some sort of shock.

“You look…” he starts to say but Jolene waves her hand and interrupts him.

“I know. Danny gave me a load of crap already.” Jolene exclaims. “I am going to New York and meeting Tony’s high end friends. I have to dress the part of high-class society/ relation to a billionaire playboy. So yes, I’m wearing makeup and yes I’m wearing some designer clothing and yes I look ridiculous since I’m used to wearing jeans and t-shirts and plaid shirts and other types of shirts…”

“I was going to say you looked nice.” James says cutting her rambling short. Jolene was surprised and James looked away once he noticed her reaction.

“Wow, forget the hug and smile. I got a compliment today.” Jolene says as a smile grew on her face. “I struck gold!”

“Ha, ha, don’t you a have a plane to catch.” James says cutting her joke short.

“Sounds like you can’t wait to get rid of me.” She says narrowing her eyes at him.

“You know that’s not true,” James states.

“I know,” Jolene says her smile dimming down. “Are you sure you’ll be fine without me?”

“I’ll be fine, Jo.” he answers. “I know what to do.”

“Ok,” she states looking down at her suitcase nervously. “But you will call me if something’s wrong right?”

“Yes, Jolene.”

“And you will eat?” she asks him. The taxi outside beeped which made her rambling go faster. “Because I know you forget to order breakfast from next door and I’m the one who brings you lunch…”

“I will remember to eat.”

“And please sleep. I can still see the dark circles under your eyes. You need your rest, James.”

“You’re going to be late,” James states hearing the taxi beep again. Jolene sighed and picked up her suitcase making her way to the door.

“Just…” she states hand on the doorknob. She turns back to him and before James could remind her of the taxi waiting outside, she walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. James quickly stiffened and didn't know how to react when Jolene quickly placed a quick kiss on his cheek. “Take care of yourself, please.”

Before James could say anything, Jolene pulled away, grabbed her suitcase, and left. James remained standing in the empty bar feeling alone for the first time in weeks.

 --------------

Tony was more than ecstatic as he picked Jolene up from the airport. She was then given the ultra speedy tour of New York city and Stark towers new renovation. She was only staying for a night so Tony was doing everything he could to give her the best visit ever.

Jolene rarely visited him since she tried to avoid the attention that the Avengers got. It was overwhelming what Tony lived through. Jolene knew she would never be able to keep up with his everyday life of fighting crime so she kept her distance. Even Tony held her at an arm’s length worried that she could get into a predicament like his (being kidnapped wasn’t an experience he wanted to pass along,) Tony took every caution possible to keep her safe and out of harm’s way.

There was just a handful of people who knew her relationship with Tony and vice versa. Jolene had told her trusted few which were Danny, Chris, Chris’ wife Delilah, and Eric. James knew of Tony but didn’t know that Tony was the notorious Iron Man. As for Tony, he only told Pepper, Rhodes, Happy, and well tonight would be her introduction to the team. That was something Jolene was not looking forward to.

All that ran through her mind was that these people were heroes. They saved New York from aliens and Norse gods and who knows what else. Then there she was, Jolene from her little small town in Virginia who owned a bar and helped soldiers that came her way. She really didn’t know why she agreed to this get together but Tony insisted and when Tony insists on something it was a demand that had to be obeyed.

Jolene sighed for the hundredth time as she stared at her reflection. She was in a dress that Pepper had given her last Christmas paired with black heels. Her hair was in large curls braided in a half up-do. In the first time in forever she was very nervous and Tony was not helping her since he decided to make her into his date for the night seeing that Pepper was in China making business arrangements. There was a knock on the door and she knew it was Tony.

“You are lucky because you have the hottest date…” Tony starts to say as I open the door but he stops as he looked at me. “Correction, I have the hottest date.”

“Don’t be so…you!” Jolene exclaims shoving him aside.

“I’m complimenting you!” Tony exclaims back.

“I don’t believe you,” she replies. Tony side hugs her and smiles.

“Still as modest as I can remember.” Tony states. “Never change please.”

“I won’t.” Jolene tells him. “You on the other hand can afford to change.”

“What?! Moi?” he asks me dramatically.

“Yes you!” she replies. “Gosh I don’t know how Pepper can stand dating you.”

“I like to think it’s my charming personality and good looks.” Tony responds. Jolene gives him a pointed look and he just sighs. “Maybe it’s because I’m Iron Man and a billionaire.” Jolene’s pointed stare continues and Tony finally gives in. “Ok, it’s most likely because through all the bad, Pepper has always seen the good in me.”

“That’s more like it.” Jolene states grabbing onto his arm so he could escort her in. Tony just glares at the girl he considered his sister as he walked her down the hall.

“I hate it when you use psychology on me.”

“I hate it when you make me go to parties with the notorious Avengers.”

“I guess we’re even,” Tony states and the hallway ends. The door opens and Jolene is met with so many unknown faces. Overwhelming was an understatement. Tony introduced Jolene to many people. She met recent SHIELD agents and scientists and the so famous Avengers.

Thor was a loud excited fun ball who greeted Jolene with a booming welcome and hand-crushing handshake. Steve saved her from Thor’s excitement and conversed with her like the old gentleman he was. Natasha, the Black Widow, seemed to read her and Jolene tried to do the same but she was like a blank sheet and she found nothing. Clint, who she knew as Hawkeye, was charming and had an odd sense of humor but charming nonetheless. Dr. Banner was shy and as much as Tony tried to make him open up, Tony just couldn’t get him out of his shell.

Jolene not only met the Avengers but was able to reunite with old friends like Rhodes and surprisingly Sam Wilson.

“It must be a small world if Jolene Nix is at a party in upstate New York.”

“Sam Wilson, what are you doing here?” Jolene asks back with the same light joking manner.

“Didn’t you hear?” he asks her confidently. “I’m making my way up. I’ll soon be an Avenger with how fast I’m rising.”

“And how did that happen?” she asks.

“Met Steve Rogers on a run in D.C. a couple of months ago and we’ve been friends since.”

“Well congratulations.” Jolene says smiling at him. Sam looks around and sets their glasses of champagne aside. He then takes my hand and starts tugging Jolene to the dance floor.

“What are you doing?” Jolene asks him.

“I’m taking the beautiful lady to dance.”

“No, Sam…” she starts to complain. “I hate dancing.”

“You liar.” Sam states. “You love dancing.”

“Ok yes, but in the comfort of my own room. Not in front of people and heroes and super spies…”

Jolene’s excuses were overlooked as Sam managed to drag her onto the dance floor. A slow song was playing, one she knew, and they remained quiet for the first few seconds of it.

“How’s the bar?” he asks her after a while.

“It’s still there and it’s doing really well.”

“And how’s the side job?” Sam asks. “How’s the therapy for homeless soldiers going?”

“I’m actually housing one right now,” Jolene answers. “There were a few incidents but things seem to be better. He’s talking to me now and seems to trust me. It’s just…” Jolene trails off trying to find the words to explain to Sam about her situation but Jolene’s mind came up blank. “It’s just…”

“It’s just what?” he asks Jolene with concern. The bartender sighs and finally answers.

“There’s this certain therapeutic exercise that people with trauma or amnesia go through to keep their mind balanced; Anchoring.” Jolene starts to explain. “He made me his anchor. Every time he seems to drift away I’m the only person who can bring him back.”

“I see how that could be a problem,” Sam replies.

“I’ve never gotten this close to a soldier. Usually I help them and send them their merry way but James is different. He seems to have no one and the look in his eyes the first time I met him… he was completely and utterly lost.” Jolene tells him. “I’m determined to help him more than I have for any soldier before.”

“Jo, you can’t get attached. Things start to get messy when therapists get attached with their patients.”

“I know!” Jolene exclaims which startles Sam. “I know…” she say more gently. Jolene sighs and looks at the other dancing couples around them. “I know the rules and the standards us therapists have to stand by. I just don’t know what to do in this situation.”

“Well if this James guy doesn’t really have anyone but you to keep him anchored than you have no choice but to stick with him.” Sam tells her. “If you take away the only thing keeping him sane then there’s a chance you’ll lose him forever.”

“I figured as much,” Jolene answers.

"You just need to make sure that he doesn't get to attached to you and vice versa." Sam tells her. "Because there'll be a time where he will become absent, whether that's a physical or mental absence, and as much as you try, you won't be able to reach him."

Jolene nods slowly at him and gives him a small smile as the song comes to an end. “Thanks for the advice.”

“Thanks for the dance,” Sam replies. Jolene was ready to walk away when Sam pulls her back. “Sorry, I meant to ask you this before but I’m working on a side project as well. I’m searching for a soldier. His name is Bucky Barnes. I don’t have a picture of him on me right now but the next time you visit D.C. you can check him up at the Smithsonian.”

“Smithsonian?” Jolene asks confused.

“Yeah, check the Captain America wing. You’ll find his name, his life story, and a picture of him. If you see him you have to let me know. He’s dangerou- he’s in danger.”

“Ok,” Jolene answers still confused. “I’ll check out the exhibit when I schedule my next therapy group session at the clinic and I’ll tell you if I find anything.”

Sam seemed to want to ask something else but is stopped when Steve pulls him away for a brief discussion. Tony seeing Jolene free pulls her into a conversation with Rhodes, Maria Hill, and Thor.

She had no other choice but to stay at Tony’s side as the conversation became humorous.

“Well, you know, the suit can take the weight, right? So I take the tank, fly it right up to the General's palace, drop it at his feet, I'm like, "Boom! You looking for this?" I laugh at Rhodes story who nods in my direction while Tony and Thor aren’t amused at all. “Why do I even talk to you guys? Everywhere else that story kills.”

“I thought it was funny, Rhodie.” Jolene answers.

“Exactly!” Rhodes exclaims.

“That's the whole story?” Thor asks him unconvinced.

“Yeah, it's a War Machine story.” Rhodes replies.

 **“** Well, it's very good then.” Thor comments as he lets out a small chuckle. “It's impressive.”

 **“** Quality save.” Rhodes states. He then turns to Tony. “ So, no Pepper? She's not coming?”

“No.” he replies.

“Hey, what about Jane?” Maria asks and Thor shakes his head.

“Seriously, where are the ladies, gentlemen?” Jolene asks them.

“Well, Ms. Potts has a company to run.” Tony states.

“Yes, I'm not even sure what country Jane's in. Her work on the convergence has made her the world’s foremost astronomer.” Thor pipes in.

“And the company that Pepper runs is the largest tech conglomerate on earth. It's pretty exciting.” Tony responds.

“There's even talk of Jane getting a, um, uh, Nobel prize.” Thor replies back.

“Yeah, they...they must be busy because they'd hate missing you guys get together.” Maria states before fake coughing “ _Testosterone!_ Oh, excuse me.”

Rhodes follows her act and offers her a lozenge and leads her away from the competition between Iron Man and the God of Thunder.

“Jane’s better.” Thor says trying to get the last word but before Tony could open his mouth Jolene steps in between them.

“Gentlemen,” she says turning to one man to the other. “Gentlemen, I own a bar and I get free booze whenever I please. I think we all know who the winner is here.”

Tony chuckles at that and Thor grins at the joke of the petit bartender in front of him. The party continued and she mingled a lot more. The party slowly settled down and it was around 1 in the morning when it was just the Avengers and Jolene resting in the lounge area. Thor’s hammer was on the coffee table in front of them and there was a whole discussion about the logic of it’s magic. Jolene didn’t say anything and enjoyed watching how everyone interacted with each other. All of them seem to act like a big family and as she watched Tony smile for the longest time of her life, she knew he was truly happy. Jolene had her own family back in Virginia and Tony had his own family here.

“But, it's a trick!” Clint exclaims motioning to mjolnir.

 **“** Oh, no. It's much more than that.” Thor replies.

 **“** Uh, "Whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power!" Whatever man! It's a trick.” Clint continues.

“Well please, be my guest.” Thor says motioning to his hammer. Clint looks in between him and mjolnir.

“Really?” he asks him. Thor nods and so Clint stands up and walks up the mjolnir.

“Oh this is gonna be beautiful.” Rhodie comments beside Jolene. She watches in amusement as she drank from her beer bottle.

 **“** Clint, you've had a tough week, we won't hold it against you if you can't get it up.” Tony jokes. They all laugh at the innuendo and Clint ignores it.

“You know I've seen this before, right?” Barton asks grabbing Thor’s hammer and not being able to lift it. He gives up and turns to Thor. “And I still don't know how you do it.”

“Smell the silent judgment?” Tony asks him which Clint then counteracts.

“Please, Stark, by all means.” Clint says motioning to the hammer. Tony tucks in his blazer and stands up. He struts to the hammer and Jolene shakes her head at him.

“Never one to shrink from an honest challenge.” Tony states.

“Maybe you should skip this one,” Jolene tells him. Tony just glares at her and she shrugs in return. “I mean, you weren’t always the guardian angel you are now.”

“Oh, she got you,” Rhodie exclaims while everyone chuckles.

“Get after it.” Clint states motioning for Tony to attempt to raise the hammer.

“It's physics.” Tony simply states in which Dr. Banner mutters sarcastically under his breath. Tony grabs the hammer at an angle but has yet to attempt to lift it. “Right, so, if I lift it, I...I then rule Asgard?”

“Yes, of course.” Thor answers.

“I will be re-instituting Prima Nocta.” Tony states and I can see him try to lift the hammer and fail as well. “I'll be right back.” He says and disappears for a few minutes. He then returns with his Iron Man suit armored hand and tries to lift the hammer again and fails again. Even Rhodes joined in with his armored hand and both of them couldn’t lift it.

Bruce tries and fails as well. Then it was Steve’s turn and nothing happens as well as far as everyone could see but there was a brief moment where Thor was a bit worried. The Black Widow refused to try and so the only two people left were Maria and Jolene. Neither of them wanted to try knowing the fated answer but the Avengers kept nudging them to at least try. Jolene soon gave in and stood up. Right as she made her way in front of the hammer, her phone starts to ring. She answers it mindlessly and all of the Avengers groan at her delay.

Jolene answers the phone not knowing what it would hold for her. Her happy expression soon disappears as Chris’ wife, Delilah, spoke to her in rapid speed not allowing Jolene to get a word in. Jolene grows pale and Tony notices that something was completely wrong if Jolene looked this way.

“Dammit,” she whispers as panic settled in her.

"Oh, Steve. She said a bad word." Maria exclaims to Steve who just rolls his eyes. Everyone starts to laugh but Tony waves them to be quiet when he notices the tears instantly rise to Jolene's eyes.

“Dammit,” she whispers more harshly as she pockets her phone and starts to walk away from the group. She rummages the room for her coat and keys ignoring Tony’s questions of concern. It wasn’t until he grabbed her strongly did Jolene finally notice all of the Avengers looking at her.

“What’s wrong?” Tony asks her for the hundredth time but for Jolene it was the first.

“I…uh…James, the soldier I’ve been helping…he’s relapsed. Delilah heard screaming and heard things being thrown around. He’s locked himself in the bar and no one can get in because he's the one who has the spare keys. And even if they were able to get int, they could get hurt very badly. And I’m not there to help him and he must be so scared…”

“Jolene, you could get hurt.” Tony states.

“He won’t hurt me,” Jolene tells him. “He trusts me and I can’t leave him alone. He can hurt himself if he’s alone in this. I need to go help him.”

“But you can get hurt!”

“You can get hurt every time you go fight some big threat and you still do it!” Jolene exclaims pulling herself out of Tony’s hold. “You almost died when you faced saved New York from being bombed. You called me saying your last words because you thought you would die! You know your dangers for saving the world and I know mine!”

Tony looks at her as if she had gone mad. It wasn’t until Steve stood up and placed a hand on Tony's shoulder pulling him back from Jolene.

“You should let her go, Tony.” He tells him. “She seems to know what she’s doing.”

Tony sighs and slowly nods.

“Take my jet,” he tells her. “You’ll get there in 18 minutes.”

“Thank you,” Jolene says as she hugs Tony. She turns to the rest of the team and gives them a weak smile. “It was a pleasure meeting all of you and I’m sorry I had to leave like this.”

Everyone wished her good luck and bid their farewells. Tony remained silent as he watched Jolene disappear through the closing elevator doors. Who knew when would be the next time he saw her. He made a mental note to go visit her sometime and add more security in the bar so situations like this wouldn’t happen again. Tony also wanted to meet this soldier of hers that seems to only bring her trouble.


	6. Cleaning House

Once the taxi came to a stop, Jolene threw an inconsiderable large amount of cash to the driver’s direction and ran out of the car. There was a small crowd in front of her bar and she could hear the crashing of chairs and groans of pain behind the door. Chris and Eric were trying to break the door open while Delilah held everyone back. Jolene pushed her way through the crowd and pulled the ring of keys out of her pocket.

“Everyone get out of the way!” she shouted. “Go home!” Jolene forced Eric and Chris out but she was immediately stopped.

“What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” Chris asks her.

“I’m going to go in and handle him myself.” Jolene answers.

“That’s dangerous,” Eric exclaims. “Don’t you hear what he’s doing in there? He can get you killed!”

“He won’t hurt me,” Jolene replies. “I know he won’t.”

Jolene unlocks the door and forces her way through. Before anyone else could get in, she slams the door closed and locked it. The whole bar was covered in darkness but Jolene could distinctly see the dark big figure breathing heavily across the room.

“James…” she whispers dropping everything she was holding and raising her hands up. “James, it’s me.”

“Who are you?” he asks her in an unrecognizable tone.

“It’s Jolene Nix,” she answers slowly making her way to the light switch. “I’m the one who gave you a place to stay, let’s you work here, and we go to the gym together. Do you remember me, James?”

“Jolene?” he asks sounding almost normal. Jolene noticed how he seemed to relax from his tense state. Before he could relapse again, Jolene quickly switched on the light. They both became silent as they saw the state of the bar. Chairs and tables were shattered, the pool table was missing a leg, and two of the ceiling lights were flickering on and off. James drops to his knees upset at the sight of the bar. _He did that._ “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Jolene sighs out slightly overwhelmed. She walks over to James and places a hand on his shoulder. James felt her hand heavy on him and shrugs it off. Jolene noticed this and looked around the bar one more time. “It was time for a makeover anyways.”

Jolene offered a smile to James but his eyes were still distantly looking away. Jolene kneeled down in front of him and disrupted his view to the bar.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” she asks him. James remained silent so Jolene asks him another question. “What triggered you this time?”

James slowly looks up to her with a tired expression.

“I tried to follow your advice… to get some sleep.” James answers. He shivered as he remembered what happened. “I remembered it being cold and I was falling. There was pain… so much pain and I fought but they didn’t like that. _Wipe him, wipe him…_ they screamed and there was more blinding pain. Next thing I know I was doing horrible things, killing people. I did things that they wanted me to do. I had no choice.”

Jolene was trying to make sense of what he saying. James sounded like he’s been through torture and his eyes were filled with fear she recognized. It was the same fear Tony had when he came back from being kidnapped by the Ho Yinsen.Tony wouldn’t talk to anyone and Pepper made sure to get Jolene into a flight to L.A. so he could at least talk to her. Jolene had never seen someone so broken like Tony was when he finally came back. The look in his eyes was something she will always remember and right now James had the same look.

It was look of pure despair, loss of hope, and an enormous amount of fear. He was lost in his own mind, tormented by memories that plague him every where he goes. Jolene didn’t know how to make that look disappear except for time and normalcy. Talk-therapy would help even more but James was still private about his war experience, except for now.

“James,” Jolene calls out to him trying to gain his attention. “James, you’re safe now. You’re here with me.”

James still looked distracted from the demons in his mind and Jolene needed to snap him out of it.

“Answer these questions,” Jolene states finally gaining his focus. “What’s your name?”

“James.”

“Where are we?”

“Virginia.”

“More specifically?”

“Crossroads.”

“And what is Crossroads?”

“The bar we’re in.”

“And who owns Crossroads? Who am I, James?”

“You’re Jolene,” James answers all stress leaving his body. “You’re Jolene.”

“Yes, it’s me.” She answers pushing the loose strands of hair behind his face. He seemed more tired than before and she knew this event had added to the wrinkles and dark circles under his eyes. “It’s me James. We’re here and we’re safe.”

“We’re here and we’re safe.” James repeats. He sighs once more and looks around the destroyed bar. Jolene just pats him in the shoulder and stands up. She offers him her hand to help him up.

“The bar can wait for tomorrow,” Jolene tells him. “It’s time to get some sleep maybe even dream.”

“This is what happened when I decided to fall asleep.” James states pointing to the bar. Jolene just shakes her head and leads him upstairs against his will.

“You’re going to sleep and I’m going to watch over you… make sure you don’t have another nightmare.” Jolene tells him. She pushes the door open to his room and waits for him to walk in. James hesitates but seeing Jolene’s determined face he makes his way inside and sits on the rough bed.

“How is this going to work?” he asks her. “I could kill you if I…”

“You won’t kill me,” Jolene answers. “You know that James.”

He just sighed at this but found no other choice but to trust her. James lays down on the bed and Jolene sits next to him. He closes his eyes but immediately opens them when he felt Jolene’s hand on his own.

“What are you doing?” he asks her.

“I’m letting you know that I’m still here.” Jolene states. “It assures you physically and unconsciously. Sleep James, just go to sleep.”

James sighed and closed his eyes. Jolene was right and her hold on his hand relieved him of some tension. Jolene watched him slowly fall asleep and let a slight yawn escape her lips. She texted Tony quickly assuring him that she was fine and had everything under control. Jolene felt him slightly shaking and quickly squeezed his hand. The shaking stop and he let a low breath passed. Jolene laid her head to the side and tried to focus on James’ breathing but the rise and fall of his chest was rhythmic and she found herself closing her eyes for sleep.

\-------------- 

The sun shone through the lone window of his room. James slowly blinks to life feeling the most refreshed he’s ever been. He tries to shift to the side to catch more sleep but something stopped him from doing so. James looked down to find Jolene’s head on the crook of his neck and still asleep. He couldn’t help but smile as he thought back to how she said she would watch him all night. Clearly that didn’t happen as she was halfway in and halfway out of his bed in the most peculiar sleeping position.

She looked peaceful and he noticed that she was tired too. Her expression of full serenity made her look younger and he wondered how he didn’t notice this before. The way her hair framed her face and her mouth seemed to be in a small smile even in her sleep. There were more little quirks that he forced him memory to remember but he ran out of time as Jolene opened her eyes in confusion at him.

“What in the…?” she begins to whisper and before he could stop her she manages to fall out of bed in her surprise. James couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched her look around his room in confusion. Her stare finally fell on him and memories of last night came to her. She blushed slightly as she rose up from the floor. “I fell asleep keeping watch, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.” James answers. “You’re the worst babysitter ever.”

“Shut up,” Jolene mutters brushing her hair out of her face. “I came running from New York for you. Sorry if I couldn’t sleep on the flight.”

James took notice of the clothing she wore. Black heels and a purple dress that clung to her everywhere. Her hair had fallen out of the braid it was in and was all out of place. Even in her last night attire she was still surprisingly beautiful and that thought surprised him. Jolene stretched and let out a small groan as she placed her hands down.

“Breakfast?” she asks him not noticing his stare.

“Breakfast.” James confirmed getting out of bed.

“You go place the order.” Jolene states. “I’m going to change out of these contraptions.”

Jolene walked out of the room and into the hallway. She searched the closet for extra clothing and slipped on a loose state sweater and some leggings. Jolene made her way downstairs to find James placing all the broken pieces of chairs and tables into a pile.

“What are you doing?” she asks him. “We can clean up later.”

James ignored her and continued cleaning Jolene sat on a stool and just watched him. She stared at him with an unreadable expression and he was slowly growing anxious. He saw her tilt her head to one side and then to the other. James tried not to look up but he found himself doing so. He would find Jolene staring at him and even as he stared back at her she wouldn't look away. She would just hum and tilt her head to the opposite. After a few minutes, James couldn't take it anymore. He threw the leg of the chair aside and turned to her.

"Why are you-?" he begins to ask but Jolene interrupts her.

"Have you ever thought of getting a haircut?" Jolene interrupts with her own question. James face frowned in confusion as he stared down at her. 

"What?" he asks. Jolene doesn't answer. Instead, she gets up from her seat and walks towards him. Without a second thought, her hand brushed James hair. He stiffened at the sudden act but Jolene didn't notice. She was focused on the length of his hair and how it was surprisingly soft.

"I mean... don't get me wrong. You're handsome with long hair and it is a trend nowadays for men to grow their hair out but it hides your face." Jolene explains. She pulls her hand back and stared back at him. 

"I don't know," James said unsure of what to say. Yes his hair was a bit of a nuisance. He hated taking care of it and it always landed on his face but he's had it for as long as he could remember. It seemed hard to let it go. 

Jolene noticed the concentration on his face. It was getting easier for her to read his expressions after spending a lot of time with him. She knew he was thinking over her proposition and she wondered why it was so hard for him to make up his mind. She placed her hand on his shoulder and offered him a small smile.

"You don't have to cut it," Jolene offers. "I'm just..." Jolene thinks about it and then her face brightens up. "I have an idea."

James looked at her waiting for her to explain but instead he sees her pull out the hair tie from her ponytail. Jolene then walked behind him. He turned to see what she was doing but she stopped him. 

"Just stare ahead." Jolene states. 

"What are you doing?" he asks her nervously. 

"Just trust me ok?" she asks him. James heard the screech of a stool moving across the floor. He then heard Jolene grunt as she got up. After a few seconds she seemed to have settled and he felt her fingers against his scalp. His hair tugged back and after a while he heard the hair tie snap into place. Jolene stepped down and walked up to him with a brighter smile on her face. 

"Oh wow," she whispers. "I can actually see that face of yours." 

James didn't feel any different and when he was about to ask her what she's done, Piper walks in with their breakfast. She smiled at James and couldn't help but giggle. James stared back at Jolene feeling embarrassed. Whatever she had done to him was apparently something to make others laugh at him. 

"Sporting the manbun, huh?" Piper asks him. "It looks good." 

"Manbun?" he asks confused. 

"Yeah, you know when men outgrow their hair to a certain length they can put it up in a bun." Jolene tells him. James just looked at he confused. "Have you seriously not heard of a manbun?" 

"No, I'm kind of out of the loop." James answers trying to find something to look at his reflection with. Piper noticing his searching gaze pulls up her phone and shows his reflection of her screen. James stared at himself in interest. His long hair was pulled away nicely and it was no longer falling to his face.

"Not many men can pull it off but you sure can." Piper compliments pulling back her phone.

"Uhh, thanks." James replies and Piper just smiled at him.

"It's my pleasure to compliment handsome men," Piper replies. Jolene snorted and James rolled his eyes at the teenager. Piper just giggled and faced Jolene. "Speaking of handsome men, I think I found someone for you."

James hearing this quickly turned away from the conversation. Jolene sighed and started to unwrap the containers. She avoided Piper's stare.

"Piper, not now."

"Oh come on," Piper exclaims. "You said if I found your Prince Charming, you would go on a date with him."  

"I said that I  _may_  go on a date with him." Jolene argued. Piper just glared at her and Jolene gave up. "Fine, who's the guy?" 

"Tall, dark, and handsome." Piper explains emphasizing the characteristics with her fingers. "His name is Jacob Matthews. He's opening up a new shop a few blocks from here." 

"Ok..." Jolene says not entirely convinced. "What's his shop?" 

"I don't know," Piper replies. 

"The great Piper Jones doesn't know, my oh my the world is ending!" Jolene exclaimed. James chuckled at that and Jolene smiled. Piper glared at both of them before continuing. 

"If you had just let me explain..." Piper draws out. "I would have told you that he came by to the diner last night. My mom talked to him so of course she didn't get all the information but I did catch a glimpse of him. And if angels fell out of the sky I would swear he's one of them. He had a southern accent and was just an overall gentleman. Left a really good tip too." 

"He sounds nice, Piper." Jolene says shrugging her shoulders. 

"Yeah, he is and that's why I  _invitedhimtothebarsoyoucouldmeethim."_ Piper quickly says. James and Jolene did not understand the last phrase and Piper looked nervous. 

"What did you just say?" Jolene asks having a nervous feeling settle in her stomach.

"I said that I  _invitedhimtothebarsoyoucouldmeethim._ " 

"One more time please because that sounds like you said you invited him to the bar so I could meet him. Please tell me I heard that wrong, Piper." Jolene quietly says. James looked in between Jolene and Piper. He's never seen her this way and has never heard her say anything this quietly and devoid of any emotion.

"That's exactly what I said..." Piper sighs out. 

"Piper!" Jolene shouts. 

"You wouldn't meet him otherwise!" Piper argues. "You stay in this bar 24/7." 

"Piper, what if he's married or has a girlfriend." 

"He's not married because he didn't have a ring and he doesn't have a girlfriend because he said he was here on his own." 

“Look at the bar, Piper! There’s no way I’m opening anytime soon.”

“You have a fridge, beers, and a bottle opener. I think you’ll do just fine.”

"Look, Piper." Jolene slowly draws out. "I know I said you could play out your fantasy of being matchmaker but you took this to far." 

"What?" Piper asks confused. "You literally said if I found you a guy that fit your standards you would go on a date with him. Take tonight as a test run." 

"I know what I said, Piper but I was just joking." Jolene states. "I didn't actually think you would go out and do that." 

Piper just stared at Jolene in disbelief while Jolene stared back at her with disappointment. James feeling the tension rise in the room steps in.

“Piper thanks for the food.” James states moving the to-go bag onto the counter. Piper just nods at him but doesn’t take her eyes off of Jolene.

“At least someone’s thankful for what I did.” Piper remarks before turning her back on Jolene and leaving the bar. Jolene just sighed and rubbed her face with her hands. James stared at her with concern.

“Are you ok?” he asks her. Jolene looks up at him and nods.

“Yeah, it’s just… that’s the first time I’ve ever argued with Piper.” She answers. Jolene shakes her head as if the events that just happened would just dissipate from her mind. “I don’t know what she was thinking.”

“She cares about you, that’s for sure.” James answers. “She wants what’s best for you and I think that setting you up on a date is what she thinks is best.”

Jolene gave him a small smile.

“This is weird,” she whispers motioning towards herself and him. James was confused to what she was referring to. “We’re talking about my date life and not just a few seconds ago we were sleeping together.”

This didn’t help James thought process at all. In fact, it made it worse. Jolene laughed at James’ expression and started to eat the pancakes on the bar counter.

“You should have seen your face,” Jolene states. “I can see it more clearly now that you sport the manbun and you were so shocked.” Jolene giggles again and James rolled his eyes.

“Maybe that’s why Piper is so hellbent on finding you someone.” James states. “You’re a little punk and probably drive all the men away.”

Jolene was surprised to hear that from him and laughed.

“Oh kitty has some claws,” she jokes. James shook his head at her and started to eat from the other container. “I haven’t driven you away yet so I must be doing something right.”

“I’m only here for the free food and beer,” James jokes in which Jolene just narrowly looks at him. “Look, what is wrong with Piper setting you up with someone? The real answer.”

“I don’t need to rely on anyone.” Jolene tells him. “When my parents died, I had to do things on my own. Yes, Tony helped me out but this…” she motions to the bar. “This is all I’ve ever needed. All I have ever relied on. Romance isn’t something in my agenda.”

“Why not?” James asks her. “Isn’t that what all the dames dream about? Some great romance?”

Jolene turned to him curiously as her mind wrapped itself in the word he used. She made sure to ask him about it later.

“Uh yeah, I guess. But I’m not like any girl.” Jolene answers. “I was never a big romantic. My parents marriage wasn’t a great example since we moved around a lot and we rarely saw my dad. Tony is a womanizer and doesn’t bother to hide it. I just…I just haven’t had something to look up to. Falling in love either looks tiring or insignificant.”

“Well maybe this Jacob Matthews will change your mind.” James said the words sounding foul for some reason. He did want Jolene to be happy but something seemed wrong with the situation.

“I doubt it.” She whispers mindlessly. “Not with the bar being the way it is. Besides this Jacob guy sounds so… I don’t know.” Jolene looks up at James wanting to change the subject. “You know that’s the second time you’ve said the word _dame_.”

“What’s wrong with the word?” James asks.

“Nothing really…just that my grandpa used to say it.” Jolene jokes.

James slightly stiffened. He didn’t realize that the his old slang was working his way back in. Jolene just laughed lightly taking his mind out of his paranoid state.

“Don’t worry, James. I think it’s cute.”

 


	7. Recreations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I haven't been able to update lately. I have this account on quotev and those books come first. Then I've had the busiest weekends that past few weeks and that cuts my writing time short. So here's a chapter and I hope you guys love it!

James spent the whole day cleaning and fixing up the bar. Jolene during this time had been involved in a string of phone calls and didn’t seem to be finishing soon. She only took a break for lunch and returned in heated arguments about consultations and replacements and such. James knew this was his fault. If he hadn’t destroyed the bar, Jolene wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

Night fell upon them and the usual crowd did not stop by. Word of the disarray of the bar had spread which made business closed tonight. Danny was the only one who came over and it was purely to check in on the damages. Jolene uncapped him a beer as he surveyed the room. From the way his expression kept on changing from bad to worse, James knew that his conclusion was not going to be a good one.

“Jo, hon, this is bad. Worse than it was when you first bought it.” Danny states.

“You’re clearly exaggerating.” Jolene replies with a huff.

“No, I’m not.” Danny responds. “He made holes on the walls. We’re going to have to check that he didn’t break any pipes and after that we’re going to have to plaster them up and recoat the paint. The ceiling light is going to have to be completely replaced and rewired. The pool table is a true goner. You lost half of your tables and chairs…Jo, it’s going to take a month or two to fix this place completely.”

“Danny, you have got to be joking.” Jolene exclaims.

“I’m not,” Danny replies.

Jolene just sighs and rubs her temples. She drops down on the nearby chair and groans. James guilt grew even more.

“You know what,” Jolene sighs out looking up at Danny. “If this is going to take two months then we’re going to make the most of it. I’m going to redecorate this whole place. I have had some ideas over the past years to make this place better.”

“What do you have in mind exactly?” Danny asks her.

“I don’t know. Maybe install a plasma TV on this wall here,” Jolene say pointing to the wall across from her. “Or maybe one of those music record machines in that corner. We can repaint the whole bar, replace the wooden boards, purchase more durable tables and chairs. I also want more shelves behind the bar and more space in the storage room.”

“Do you even have the money for that?” Danny asks her.

“Of course I do.” Jolene replies. “I’m not exactly living la vida loca. I’ve been saving money up ever since I’ve opened the place.”

“Then it’s settled,” Danny states. “My men will be here tomorrow afternoon and get started. I’ll call Richie so he can construct the blueprints and such.”

Jolene was about to agree to that when the bell of her door rang. She was ready to shoo out the customer when she realized it was an unfamiliar face. The man looked around curiously and his eyes finally landed on her.

“Hi…” he says a clear southern drawl in his voice. “I was told that this was the place to go for a drink.”

Jolene gave him a tight smile as she looked him over. Piper was right, the man was handsome and had an accent to die for but Jolene needed more than a pretty face.

“You must be Jacob.” Jolene states walking over to him and offering him her hand. “I’m Jolene. Welcome to the neighborhood.”

“Pleasure to meet ya,” he responds looking around the disarray of the bar. “Did something happen here?”

“There was a minor incident and we’re starting on repairs.” Jolene responds.

“I wouldn’t call it minor…” Danny says shooting a glance at James. Jolene slightly shoved Danny to quit it as James guilt grew even more. Jacob just watched them all but the man behind the bar caught his attention. Jolene and Danny started arguing again and Jacob made the way to the bar counter. James instinctively uncaps a bottle of beer and slides it to him.

“So…are those two related or something?” he asks James with a small smile.

“No, they’re just really good friends. Everyone down this street looks after her.” James tells him not even glancing up to Jacob. “So if anything or _anyone_ hurts her, she has people who would defend her endlessly.”

James continued to set the glasses in their correct spot hoping that Jacob would just leave after the warning but he remained seated in front of him. Jacob watched him closely and leaned a bit back from his seat. He tried to read him as he took a swing from the beer bottle. Jacob places the bottle on the counter and James snaps up towards him.

“If I were her, I would consider myself lucky.” Jacob states as he looks James over. This made James nervous, as if Jacob was searching him for answers.

“Excuse me?” he asks lowly.

“She’s lucky to have someone like you by her side.” Jacob answers finishing his beer and sliding it back to James. “A fine specimen you are. I hope she doesn’t lose you.”

James tried his best to not break the glass in his hands. His last statement sounded threatening and after all that’s happened James, he couldn’t afford Jolene getting hurt. His mind flared worried that HYDRA had finally found him. Jacob just gave him one more smile and a wink before getting up from his seat and leaving the bar.

Jolene had watched the whole scene, pushing Danny out of the door. She made her way around the bar and smiled up at James who seemed ready to chase after Jacob. She took the shaking glass out of his hand and placed it out on the counter.

“Is everything ok, soldier?” she asks him. James quickly snapped out of it as he turned to her. His whole body relaxed as he saw her smile.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” He answers. James then motions to the door. “I’m sorry I ran your date out of here.”

“Umm… I think I should be the one apologizing.” Jolene replies as a light blush appeared on her face.

“For what?” he asks her confused.

“I heard the conversation and Jacob wasn’t interested in me…he was clearly interested in you.” Jolene tells him. 

“What?”

“Yeah, I think he’s gay.” Jolene states looking at the door and back at James who was completely perplexed. “When you mentioned me he repelled himself from you and then there’s the obvious flirting and then there’s the number written on this napkin right here.”

Jolene slides the piece of scribble towards James. He takes it and looks at it perplexed.

“I…uh…I…” James stammers out still trying to wrap his mind around the idea. Jolene laughed and nudged him.

“Be flattered, James.” Jolene tells him. “He’s a looker.”

“I’m going to kill Piper,” James mutters causing Jolene to laugh.

“Come on James,” Jolene grins. “ Don’t blame Piper. Open yourself up for love. Maybe this Jacob guy will change your mind.”

“Using my own words against me…so original.” James says with a roll of his eyes. He finishes cleaning up the bar counter and makes his way up the stairs.

“Hey!” Jolene exclaims making James turn to her. “Danny and his crew are coming early tomorrow morning. They’ll most likely be using the upstairs room to store materials.”

“Then where am I supposed to sleep?”

“Yeah, about that…” Jolene stammers out. “You’re going to need to move in with me for a while. You’ll have to sleep in the couch but it’s better than sleeping near paint and wooden boards.”

“You want me to move in with you?” James asks her. “Doesn’t that give off the wrong idea?”

“And what idea is that?” Jolene asks him.

“You know…” he says hesitantly. This time it was his turn to slightly blush. “I don’t want to taint your virtue.”

“Virtue?” she asks him giggling. “James, this is the 21st century. Women don't care about their virtue. I don't even think we use the word virtue to describe it anymore.”

“What?” James asks confused.

“Come on, James!” Jolene exclaims. “The feminist movement has increased over the decades. We’re still trying to fight for equality and gain control of our bodies. Either way, men and women’s relationship have changed and no judgment is imposed.” Jolene couldn’t help but laugh even more as James still looked confused at her. “Sometimes I wonder what rock you’ve been living under.”

Jolene shook her head at him and walked around the counter. She grabbed her coat and keys as she made her to the front door. She stops and turns back to James.

“I know the drill, Jo.” James states with a roll of his eyes knowing Jolene’s closing instructions. Jolene just smiled at him.

“I just wanted to tell you that this wasn’t your fault.” Jolene tells him motioning to the bar. “Gave me a reason to renovate the place. I’m actually excited to see what we’ll come up with.” She tells him, her eyes twinkling as she looked around the bar and then back at him. James heavy guilt disappeared as her eyes landed on him. “Tonight’s your last night here so don’t forget to pack your bags, James.”

 --------------

The small bar was filled with burly men and a ton of noise. James was awake before all of them came in but couldn’t enjoy his silent morning with all of the ruckus coming from downstairs. He wasn’t sure if Jolene had finally made it in but he sure knew that Danny was here with the shouts that he heard so clearly from his room upstairs. James had no other choice but get dressed and make his way downstairs.

As expected, James found the bar crowded and he could barely make his way behind the bar counter where empty pots of coffee and donut boxes were laid out. He searched for Jolene in the bar full of men and couldn’t find her anywhere. James grew slightly nervous at this but it soon went away as Jolene came barging in with an apron tied around her waist and a yellow construction hat on her head. Jolene carried another round of coffee and managed to dodge and duck under wooden beams and moving men. A smile was on her face and James couldn’t help but smile tentatively at her.

“Morning,” she greets him as she places the coffee pots in the counter. “I hope the noise didn’t wake you.”

“It didn’t,” James replies as his eyes narrow at her. “What’s with the apron and hat?”

“I’m helping out with the diner since they have to cater to all of these men.” Jolene responds. “As for the hat, well it’s a safety precaution and you need one too.”

Jolene then grabs the yellow hat on her head and places it on James. He glares at Jolene who just smiles at him.

“It’s a safety precaution, James. Don’t have to be pouty about it.” Jolene says laughing at him. He quickly takes it off and places it on her head again. “James…”

“I’ll get one. Don’t worry.” James replies. “But you need it more than me.”

Jolene just huffs and fixes the hat on her head. She looks around at the bar and sighs.

“One thing I hate about renovating is this…” Jolene says waving her hand at the crowded bar. “And also the fact that I’m practically useless. I have nothing to do except when they ask for a final decision.”

“What are we supposed to do then?” James asks her. Jolene just shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know.” She responds. “Danny will probably find my presence a nuisance soon. Oh! There’s a park nearby. Do you want to come with me?”

“Why would we…?” James starts to ask but it was too late. Jolene grabbed his hand and started to tug him out. James almost collided with some of the men and Jolene had yet to notice the mess that she was making. They finally make their way out and Jolene quickly takes off the yellow construction hat and rips of her apron.

“Let’s go!” she exclaims excitedly as she drags him around the streets. James couldn’t help but laugh at her childish behavior and Jolene just smiled back at him. They finally reached the empty playground.

“Shouldn’t there be kids?” James asks her.

“They’re still in school.” Jolene replies slowly making her way to the swings. “We have the whole playground to ourselves.”

Jolene sat on one of the swings and slowly swung herself. James just crossed his arms and watched her from afar. She would cause the chain of the swing to wrap around itself so when she let go it would cause her to spin quickly. Her laughter filled the air and James couldn’t help but smile. Jolene was slightly dizzy but managed to focus on the still standing James.

“Come on James!” she shouts at him. “The least you can do is push me.”

“Is that an order?” he asks jokingly as he slowly walks up to her.

“That’s an order, soldier!” Jolene exclaims trying to be serious and commanding but her facade didn't last long as a giggle escaped her lips. James started to push her lightly which made Jolene huff.

“We’re not going anywhere if you’re being gentle.” Jolene tells him. James just sighed and started to push her harder. Jolene laughed as she swung higher and higher. James finally stopped and took the swing beside her. Once again, he started to watch her.

“What if...I make…a big jump…and see how…far….I go.” Jolene says every time she passed him. James immediately knew that was a bad idea but before he could stop her. Jolene let go of the swing and flew in the air. She quickly landed on the ground on her feet and turned and smiled at James. The smile quickly dropped as she tried to walk. Jolene started to fall and James quickly ran up to catch her.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch…” Jolene mumbled as James settled her to sit on the ground. “God dang it. I landed on my ankle wrong.”

James grabbed her foot and noticed the swelling of her right ankle and how it was tinged in red. He was so focused on the state of the ankle that he didn’t realize that the Winter Soldier had taken over. The next thing he knew, the Soldier pulled Jolene up and started to carry her back to the bar.

“What are you doing James?” Jolene asks confused and surprised as well. She looks up at him and notices the blank expression and under set scowl. “James…?”

He didn’t offer a response instead stared blankly ahead. Jolene should have been worried but knew that the only reason he was this way was because she had gotten hurt. This was James default to take care of situations like this and she started to wonder if it would always be this way.

They reached the bar pretty quickly and everyone got out of the soldier’s way as he carried Jolene in. He set her on top of the counter and raised her foot up on a nearby stool. She quietly watched him grabbed the first-aid kit from the bathroom and make his way back to her. Every thing seemed to be under control until Danny and his big mouth made an entrance.

“What the hell did you do to her this time?” Danny asks James. The soldier didn’t respond instead continued to wrap Jolene’s ankle.

“Hey! I asked you a question.” Danny made the mistake of grabbing James in which caused him to respond negatively. The soldier grabs Danny’s hand tightly and he begins to whimper especially at the sight of the metal hand.

“Let him go!” Jolene shouts. The soldier didn’t respond to that and still held Danny’s hand. “That’s an order, Soldier!”

Hearing that, the soldier let go and James slipped in. He blinked a couple of times and took a step back from Jolene and Danny. The whole bar was silent due to the scene that just happened in front of them.

“I’m sorry…” James whispers. Jolene was just sympathetic and grabbed him before he could leave.

“You need to finish wrapping my ankle, James.” Jolene tells him. “It’s not going to do itself.”

James tentatively continued to wrap her ankle and Danny just groaned as he rubbed his wrist. He still wasn’t too happy with Jolene’s need to defend James but he knew he could never change her mind.

“So what happened to you, Jo?” Danny asks placing the yellow helmet on top of her head again. She pushed the hat back and grimaced as James shifted her ankle up.

“I decided to jump from a moving swing.” She answers. “It wasn’t my best idea but it was worth it.”

“A sprained ankle is worth it?” Danny asks in disbelief. Jolene just nodded with a toothy grin. Danny just shakes his head and turns to James. “And you let her do this to herself?”

“I didn’t really have much time to convince her otherwise.” James replies. “She just went ahead and did it.”

“Well you should have done something about it.” Danny continues to chastise him.

“Can you give the guy a break?” Jolene exclaims at him. “He couldn’t do anything if he wanted to.”

“Always defending the little punk…” Danny grumbles as he walks away.

“Well you’re a punk!” Jolene shouts at his retreating figure. James couldn’t help but chuckle at her. He finished wrapping her ankle and grabbed an ice bag from the freezer. James then placed it on her ankle and she hissed in pain.

“Ooh that burns. That burns a lot.” She whimpers but as much as she wanted to push the ice pack away, James held it firmly against her.

“Stop being a fussy baby and let me take care of ya.” James tells her.

“That’s what every girl wants to hear, James.” Jolene replies. “Aside from the fussy baby reference, I would love it if you took care of me. Sadly our situation is the other way around.”

“For a broad you sure don’t know how to talk to a guy.” James replies. “I’m taking care of ya, aren’t I?”

“ _Broad?_ ” Jolene asks slightly insulted. “Who are you using your old slang on?”

James once again mentally face-palmed himself for letting his old words slipping in. He had been doing such a great job not letting it slip.

“You have an accent.” Jolene continued. “I didn’t notice it before. Sounds like you’re from New York. Am I right?”

James slightly stiffened at that and shifted the ice bag from her ankle. Jolene narrowed his eyes at him and sighed.

“Right, you don’t like me meddling in your past.” Jolene states and James knew that she wasn’t too happy with that. She quickly lightened up again and James was relieved that she let the subject drop.

“So how long do I have, Doc? Will I ever walk again?” Jolene asks dramatically as she placed her hand on her forehead.

“Five maybe six.” James states quickly.

“Five days, weeks…?” Jolene asks confused. James just furrowed his eyebrows and stared at her calculating.

“No, four…”

“Four what?”

“Three, two, one…” James says breaking into a smile which caused Jolene to slap his arm jokingly.

“I swear!” Jolene exclaims but she couldn’t help but the smile that appeared on her face. She laughed and it seemed to be the world to James to make her smile. “That was a good joke.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” James asks her taking the ice pack off of her ankle now. Jolene nods and attempts to stand up. James helped her balance herself. It was obvious she couldn’t put much pressure on her ankle but she could still walk.

“So, since going to the park was a bad idea… how about we go to my apartment and relax there?” Jolene asks him. James nods at that agreeing to that. “Did you pack your stuff?”

James stared blankly at her and Jolene just sighed.

“As expected…” Jolene mutters. “Go pack you little punk. I’ll be waiting down here and then we’ll go to the Villa de Jolene.”


	8. Royal Pains

James took a very long time as he packed his bags. Jolene grew worried but knew better than to go and get him. Especially since her sprained ankle was not allowing her to go anywhere at the moment. She took the yellow construction hat off her head and redid her hair. After she was done with her French braid she sighed impatiently but just in time, the creaking of her stairs announced James’ descent.

“Finally!” Jolene exclaims in exaggeration. “What took you so long?”

“I…uh… I got distracted.” James responds quietly. “I remembered something…”

“Oh.” Jolene says dropping the subject completely. “Well um… do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” James answers quickly with a dark tone. “No, I don’t.”

“Ok, well I’m here always and well… we should get going to my apartment before the lunch rush.”

James saw as Jolene attempted to walk and he put his bag over his shoulder and swept her off her feet. That took Jolene by surprised as she huffed loudly at him but James didn’t pay any attention to her in mind. Instead he replayed the memory that had caused him to take a long time in his packing.

 

            _Laughter filled the small room he called home. His arms were full of groceries that he managed to afford with this week’s check. Steve held only one bag in his frail arms as he struggled to open the door. The laughter stopped as they hear the keys clinking. Before Steve could get the chance to stick the key into the lock the door opens._

_Bucky finds Clarice smiling her toothy smile at him. Her blond hair in two high pigtails and her smile filled with two gaps due to her baby teeth falling out. Stephanie was sitting on the couch reading a book, her glasses firm on her nose. Amanda slowly appeared at the door a look of hope on her face that soon faded away as she caught sight of Bucky and Steve._

            _“I thought you two would never come.” Amanda states helping Bucky with the groceries._

_Bucky just laughed as he stepped in. Clarice made a quick attempt and latched onto his legs. He laughed as he limped in and settled the paper bags on the table. Bucky looked down at Clarice and shook his leg in order to get her off of him. Clarice got the idea and detached herself and pulled Steve into the living room for a game of tea party. Bucky having the privacy he wanted turns to Amanda who was putting the groceries away._

_“Where’s Andrew?” Bucky asked her. Amanda’s whole body turn frigid as she closed the small fridge closed. Bucky already knew the answer but he wanted his sister to confide in him._

_“He hasn’t been home for a while.” She answers quietly._

_“How long Amanda?” he asks her anger rising in him. Amanda wrings the dish towel in her hands nervously. “How long has he been gone?”_

_“It’s about to be two weeks.” Amanda responds, her voice quivering with emotion._

_“That bastard!” Bucky exclaims slamming his hands on the table. “How can he leave you and Clarice alone? He’s got a family for God’s sake! The next time I see that bastard, I’m going…!”_

_Amanda placed a hand on his shoulder in hopes of calming him._

_“Please, be quiet Buck.” Amanda tells him. “Clarice is just next door and I can’t have her hearing…”_

_Bucky let his rage go as he saw his sister’s fallen face. He pulled her into a hug and gave her the comfort she needed._

_“If you need any help don’t hesitate and come get me.” Bucky tells her._

_“Bucky, you barely have enough to pay your rent.” Amanda mutters. “You can’t take care of Clarice and I, especially with Stephanie wanting to continue her studies. I’ll just pick up another shift at the diner and Mrs. Roe can take care of Clarice after she gets out of school. I have it all planned out.”_

_“Amanda you can’t do this all by yourself. Please let me help you.”_

_“You’ve done more than enough, James Buchanan Barnes.” Amanda states pulling herself away from him. “You raised Stephanie and I when our parents died. You dropped out of school and started to work at the mechanics shop. Even now, you wasted your week’s paycheck for us. I love you Bucky but I’ve grown up now. Let me take care of my family for once, ok?”_

_Bucky hesitantly nodded and Amanda gave him a small smile._

_“If Andrew dares to come back, I’m putting his face in.” Bucky threatened. Amanda just sighed and continued to put the groceries away. Bucky watched his younger sister, she was a year younger than him but seemed to have aged more than he has. He couldn’t believe how time managed to work against both of them in the most strangest way._

 

James realized now that he couldn’t trust his memories. Hydra had made sure to jumble it too much that he couldn’t rely on anything he remembered. He was wrong when he thought he had three siblings. He only had two and he had a niece that he adored.

Part of his mind unveiled to him a part of himself that he didn’t remember. James recounted the times Clarice forced him into a tea party and his sister seemed to grow wearier and wearier. Andrew never did come back. James was glad he never did but it didn’t make it easier on his sister.

Stephanie finally decided she couldn’t continue with her studies and was forced to work as well. Luckily for her she was smart enough to become a secretary and that helped a lot with Amanda and Clarice. He couldn’t remember much else after that. He assumed that meant that he went to war after that and letters were always hard to send back and forth. They were also pretty expensive.

He wondered how they reacted after they announced Bucky Barnes dead. James wondered how Clarice grew up and if Stephanie ever got married. James wondered a lot about his past life last night and he was still thinking about it. He wished he could pass these thoughts along but if he did then his secret would be revealed. James couldn’t allow the one person who didn’t see him as a monster know about his past. What would happen to him then if he lost her?

James thoughts then led him to remember that he was a danger himself. That Hydra even S.H.I.E.L.D could be after him for all he’s done. He’s practically drew a target on Jolene for his stay. Once again his mind rose with conflict whether he should stay or leave the tiny town. He’s stayed longer than he expected to and James suspected it had to do with how easily he managed to fit in into the small town.

James couldn’t help but think that he would fall apart if he left Jolene behind by herself. She seemed to enjoy his company as much as he enjoyed hers. There were parts that he didn’t know about Jolene. Actually, he only knew the surface of her life story. Yet he mirrored the situation and realized that it was the same case for Jolene. She only knew a face, a name, and a very minimal outline of James’ life.

“James?” Jolene asks snapping him out of his deep thoughts. “You blanked out on me for a couple of minutes.”

“I’m fine,” James answers in a deep husky voice. That revealed to Jolene that he wasn’t in fact fine but she didn’t push him. Jolene just gave him a simple smile as she noticed his uneasy state. She assumed it was the loud construction around them that made him this way. Jolene never suspected it may have been James’ struggling to stay or flee. Either way, it was obvious that James would be staying with her and Jolene patted his chest so they could start walking.

They walked a few blocks away from the bar. Jolene greeted and smiled at the shopkeepers along the way who asked her what she’s done to herself this time to have someone carry her around. James watched each of them as a new set of paranoia settled in him but soon relaxed as Jolene smiled at him and explained what happened to her. James then introduced himself and they went back on their merry way.

James grew more nervous with each step he took farther away from the bar. All he ever knew was the street that they’ve walked in. Jolene was taking him pretty far away from that familiar street. James brought Jolene closer to him with each step that he took. Luckily, Jolene didn’t take him any farther as they reached a row of townhouses.

Keys jingled in Jolene’s hand, as she squirmed in James’ arms.

“Let me down James.” She ordered. James, even though he was nervous of staying with her and not knowing his environment as much as he would like to, still managed to respond snarkily at her.

“I don’t know princess.” He replied looking at the building in front of him, memorizing every inch of it. “I’ll like to hold on to you for a bit longer.”

Jolene snorted at that and continued to squirm.

“Put me down James.” Jolene orders again. “Besides, I’m a Queen not some princess.”

“Oh?” James asks finally turning his gaze onto her and raising his eyebrows in mockery. “Forgive me, majesty. Princess or Queen, you will always be royal to me.”

“Oh really?” Jolene retorts back knowing there was a catch to that. James couldn’t help but smirk at her as he walked up the stairs to the front door.

“Yes, really. You’re a big _royal_ pain in the ass.”

Jolene tilted her head back and started to laugh. James didn’t expect her to do that and had almost dropped her. Once he recovered his hold on her, he smiled at the beautiful sound that chimed in the air. James couldn’t help but watch her finally recover from her happy state. Her eyes twinkled again as she looked back at him.

“I love this snarky side of you.” Jolene states resorting to opening the front door still in James’ arms. “Almost makes you seem like a normal functioning human being.”

“And I wasn’t before?” James asks her. Jolene swung the door opened and looked up at James with a narrowed expression.

“Nope.” Jolene answered. “You were all broody and secluded. Now you smile and you talk and you laugh.”

“Well how can I not laugh?” James retorts. “You’re the wonkiest human being I’ve ever come across.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Most people wouldn’t.”

Jolene couldn’t help but giggle at that and managed to squirm her way out of James’ hold. Her ankle still ached but as long as she could walk, she could go on her own. She made her way inside as James looked into her apartment from the doorway.

“Are you going to come in or stay out there all day?”

James tentatively took a step inside and looked at the apartment with curiosity. Everything was brown and black in a classic manor. The walls were filled with books and works of art. James took notice of the lack of pictures and made sure to ask her about it later. There were splashes of color in certain areas of her apartment and he smiled at the sight of them. Her home seemed to embody her perfectly. What caught him by surprise was the cat that leaped from the couch to the coffee table.

“You have a cat?” James asks confused.

“No, I don’t.” Jolene replies scratching the cat’s ears. “Though Mrs. Dorian from next door does.”

James couldn’t help but shake his head at her.

“What?” she asked him noticing his action. “I’m not stealing her cat or anything. She just likes to come over sometimes.”

“You just like housing anything that comes your way, huh?” James joked as he dropped the bag loudly causing the cat to run away startled out to the yard. Jolene just huffed at him and closed the glass door that led to her backyard.

“You didn’t have to scare Cleo away just because you’re jealous.” Jolene remarks looking at him.

“Me, jealous?” James asks as he sat down on the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table.

“Yes, you.” Jolene replied walking towards him and pushing his feet off the table before taking a seat next to him. “You just can’t handle the idea of me housing another living thing, can you?”

“Like I said before princess…” James replies tucking a loose strand behind Jolene’s ear. “I’ll like to hold on to you for a little while longer.”

Jolene didn’t realize she stopped breathing for a while as James stared at her with a faint smile. She quickly cleared her throat and looked away from him trying to hide the oncoming blush on her cheeks.

“So um… Plans!” Jolene exclaims changing the subject. “Danny said it might take 3-5 weeks for the bar to be ready. I thought that we could go to D.C. this week just for a few days of course. I usually do some group therapy at a veteran’s clinic there but now that I sprained this ankle I might postpone that.”

James was glad that she changed her mind on that and he was even more relieved that she didn’t notice his pale expression at the mention of D.C. That’s where everything went down with him, where he found Steve, and abandoned Hydra.

“Then next week is um… well it’s something important to me so we can’t leave for D.C. then. Maybe in two weeks we’ll go. Is that ok, with you?”

James simply nodded afraid that his voice might break if he responded verbally. Two weeks was enough time to formulate a plan to remain hidden in his time there.

“So this week we’ll just do our normal routine without the bar thing. I’ll try to get better from my stupid incident. We’ll go to the gym. Hey! Maybe you can teach me some of those moves you throw!”

“In your dreams, princess.”

“Queen!” Jolene corrected.

“Yeah, whatever your majesty.”

Jolene couldn’t help but laugh which soon subsided.

“Is there anything you’ll like to do?” Jolene asked him. “We have nothing but time.”

“I want to get to know you better.” James stated honestly. “Your apartment, though it resembles you to the tee, doesn’t have a lot of pictures.”

“I’ll answer your question if you answer mine.” Jolene replies. James knew he was playing dangerously if he said yes. She could ask him about anything and it would unravel his secret identity very quickly. James sighed, he could lie. He was a great liar and he’s never had a problem lying before but doing that to Jolene was something he didn’t think he could pull off. Jolene noticed the conflict and decided to let him out easy.

“I don’t put up pictures because they um… they remind me of sad things. All of my family pictures are stored in a storage locker.” Jolene responds. “Tony and I have a few pictures too but I don’t put those up because it’ll draw attention to me and neither of us can’t have that.”

James nods silently at that and felt guilty for Jolene’s solemn response. He clears his throat nervously as he thought of what to say.

“So… what question did you have for me?” James asks her.

Jolene turns to him surprised and sits up on the couch.

“Seriously?” she asked him.

“I hope that wasn’t your question.” James replies jokingly which caused Jolene to slap his hand to his chest. James feigns pain as he holds a hand to his chest but Jolene wasn’t having it.

“You’re really going to let me ask you about _anything_?”

James nodded nervously and Jolene looked away trying to find a question to ask him.

“Ok… umm.” Jolene whispers to herself. “Ok… I got it.”

Jolene turned to James with a serious expression and James had to retain himself from panicking to the words that were about to slip out of her mouth.

“That night,” Jolene starts off. “That night that the gang attacked us, you showed me your arm. I restrained myself from asking you how you got it.”

James looked away nervously. He remembered that memory very clearly. He remembered every detail of that night so clearly with or without Hydra scrambling his brain. Jolene’s hand on his own snapped him back to reality as she stared at him in concern.

“You don’t have to tell me if it’s too much for you.”

Her comfort was something he always needed from her. James believed it was one of the reasons the Winter Soldier and himself liked about her.

“We were doing a mission.” He answers. “I was on a fast moving train and my best friend and I were handling the first attacks. One of the train carts exploded, I tried to keep my friend safe but I was pushed outside of the train by a powerful force. I was holding on to a railing…” James paused trying to push past it. “He tried to save me but the railing broke off and I fell. One thing led to another and I was given this one. End of story.”

Jolene pursed her lips together knowing he left out details but as always she left it up to him to decide when to tell her. Instead, Jolene grabbed his metal hand and pushed his sleeve up. She picked up her investigation again as she made the hand move and shift. Jolene watched the plates move with fascination and James watched her in the same way.

“Tony would love this thing.” She tells him. “It’s right up his alley.”

“I think you love this thing too.” James states giving her a small smile. Jolene snorts as she placed her palm against his metal palm. His finger were long enough to engulf the top of hers.

“You’re right.” She tells him a smirk growing on her face. “It’ll be useful for all those jars of tomato sauce and jam that I can never open on my own.”

James couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“I’m glad I can be put to use.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Jolene's apartment to look kind of like this.   
> http://imnotdoneyet-forreal.tumblr.com/tagged/jolene%27s-apartment


	9. Hit Me with Your Best Shot

James found himself more comfortable at her home. To wake up with her making breakfast, spending the day reading books and watching movies, James trying to carry her around since he still thought it was too soon for her to start walking again. It was a fun few days of relaxation and comfort, but as always that grew to be boring too.

It took Jolene a couple of days to finally be able to walk on her ankle without limping. James wasn’t too happy letting her walk on her own but she did it anyway. Once Jolene could manage this, she nudged James to go to the gym. It had been a while since they’ve gone but James refused to go not believing that Jolene was in fact fine.

“I thought I was the doctor here?” Jolene asked him as James sat on the couch reading another novel from her collection trying his hardest to ignore her.

“Yeah, a doctor who decided that jumping off a swinging swing was a good idea.” James argued back.

“Ok, you got me there.” Jolene responds. “But I’m fine now. I can walk. It’s not swollen. It doesn’t hurt. It was just a sprained ankle, James. I’m good to go now.”

James lowered his book and finally looked up at Jolene. He hadn’t noticed when the cat had come in again but there Cleo was, being petted by Jolene. James sighed, he knew that Jolene was well but the idea of going to the gym so early in the day was not appealing to him. Especially since the weather has heightened into the occasional sun and warm breeze. James could no longer hide in long sleeves and sweaters.

“There’ll be people there.” James states.

Jolene stopped petting Cleo as she heard this. The cat pushed herself against Jolene’s hands but she didn’t pay too much attention to her. Jolene had forgotten it was a late Friday afternoon. The gym was usually busy by then.

“Is this about your arm?” Jolene asks him. James sighs and looks away which was answer enough for Jolene. “James, you walk around the house showing it in all it’s glory. Why are you suddenly ashamed?”

“I don’t like people seeing it,” James responds carefully. Jolene put Cleo down and sat next to James.

“You let me see it though,” Jolene responds.

“But I trust you.” James responds quickly. “I only trust you.”

Jolene was flattered by having his trust but knew it must have been very hard for him to give it to her. Jolene placed her hand on his and gave him a smile.

“Fine, we won’t go now…” Jolene tells him. “But we’ll go tonight. Once Eric closes it, we’ll come in. No one will be there. It’ll just be the two of us like before.”

James agreed to that and Jolene got up from her seat and allowed him to return to his book. As she started to make her way out, she stuck her head out of the door frame and looked at the back of James’ head.

“Oh and James,” Jolene calls out to him and he tilts his head back at the mention of his name. “You’re going to teach me how to fight today.”

Before James could argue against it, Jolene ran up the stairs and into her room. James threw his book down at the coffee table and rubbed his face. Of course she would resort to tricking him into fighting. There always seemed to be something up Jolene sleeve.

\----------------

Jolene practically skipped the whole way up to the gym. No one was out in the streets tonight which was odd for a Friday night. James almost thought it could have been Jolene’s doing since she now knew he didn’t really like the attention. James watched Jolene who had gotten ahead of him in there walk. Jolene turned to him and tauntingly told him to hurry up. James just shook his head and looked around the street for any signs of danger.

He flexed his arm, feeling the plates move and whir at this movement. Tonight, the air was warm and the sun had gone down. James didn’t wear a sweatshirt this time seeing that it was too hot to wear one now. It was only Jolene and him, therefor he was more willing to show his metal arm out.

James finally caught up to Jolene as she took her time to open the locked door. Once the door was unlocked, Jolene quickly turned on the lights and pulled onto James’ hand up to the boxing ring. As much as James pulled back from it, Jolene continued to pull forward.

“Come on James,” Jolene states. “Teach me some of your moves.”

“Not today, Jolene.” James responds. “You’re still recovering and I can hurt you and...”

“Enough with the excuses,” Jolene says as she lets go of his hand and walks up to the boxing ring. She pulled herself up and quickly stood up in the middle of the ring. “James, you’ve only run a couple of miles and punched a punching bag every time we come here. It’s time for you to step it up a bit.”

“I’m not going to fight against you.” James states. “I could seriously hurt you.”

“Or… I could seriously hurt you.” Jolene replies jumping up and down a bit with her arms in front of her in fists. James shook his head at her and sighed.

“You’re not going to quit this, are you?” he asked her already knowing the answer. Jolene nods and James finally approached the boxing ring slowly. He easily pulled himself up and swung under the ropes.

“So what are we going to start of with?” Jolene asked him excitedly. “Some regular boxing or some secret martial arts that you know or…”

“Just punch me as hard as you can.” James cuts her off. Jolene looked at him confused.

“What?”

“Punch me as hard as you can.” James repeated himself.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Jolene says putting her arms down.

“Believe me, you’re not going to hurt me.”

Jolene refused to believe that and looked at him with concern.

“Just do it Jolene.” James states. Jolene just sighed and once again returned to her fighting stance.

Before she could back out of it, she swung her arm and James deflected. He thought it would be easy to simply deflect her and turn her around but Jolene didn’t give up easily. Jolene swung her leg and James barely managed to catch it. Jolene turned around aiming her elbow to his chest but he also caught that, but that allowed Jolene to regain her leg back and she didn’t hesitate to use it again. The simple punch James had asked her for, had quickly turned into a slightly intense sparring match.

James finally managed to overcome his shock and grabbed Jolene’s oncoming punch and used her momentum to turn her around. James now had her caged into her chest. Jolene’s arms were tucked over her chest while James held her closely to him. She felt him breath heavily beside her head. She could feel her fast heartbeat and could also feel his. James leaned her head against her, both to tired to realize the very compromising position they were in. As they finally caught their breaths did James finally let her go.

“Where did you learn how to do all of that?” James asked her still trying to comprehend how she manage to do all of that.

“You’re not the first soldier I’ve convinced to fight me, James.” Jolene says with a tired breath. “I tend to learn something new from each one of them.”

James couldn’t help but chuckle at her. He should have known that the bartender who faced danger without blinking had a reason as to why. Jolene still jumped slightly on her feet ready to fight once again.

“Come on, James.” Jolene taunted him. “Show me something new.”

“My style of fighting is intense and hard and it took me years to become this good.”

“So that means I have a professional at my disposal.” Jolene responds in which James nods. “Teach me.”

“I’ll teach you how to shoot a gun.” James replies not wanting to involve her in the dangerous fighting skill he attained from Hydra.

“I already know that.” Jolene responds quickly.

“Shoot a rifle.”

“I’m a master at that.”

“Wield a blade.”

“Know that too.”

“How about fighting with a staff?”

“When would I ever have to fight with a staff?” Jolene asked back in which James just shrugged his shoulders at.

“I don’t know but I should teach you just in case it comes handy.” James responds. Jolene still shook her head at him.

“You want me to pass up an opportunity to learn from a master?” Jolene asked him in disbelief. “You didn’t built up your skills to me for no reason. Come on show me something I’ve never seen before.”

“I’ve come to realize today that you’re just not a quitter.” James said making his way back to Jolene. He hesitantly stood up in a fighting stance once again. “We’re going to start off easy and if things start to get too fast or intense, we’re going to stop.”   
“But that’s when all the fun begins.” Jolene whines cracking a smile.

James shook his head at her but didn’t hesitate to be the first one to attack. They fought for a couple of minutes before James pulled the plug. His belief of Jolene being an amateur was completely wrong. She was more skilled than some of the agents he temporarily worked with. Her defense was strong but her attacks could be better if she built up her upper body strength. She knew how to fight with precision and order. She had yet to learn how to expect the unexpected. So when James started to fight a little dirtier Jolene had trouble keeping up. James didn’t take that too far and pulled the plug on their sparring.

Jolene sighed in relief. All her muscles were tight and sore, she was out of breath, and overall exhausted. She laid herself out on the boxing ring while James grabbed them a bottle of water. He laughed at Jolene’s extended laid position and sat next to her.

“Had enough?” James asks her.

“What are you talking about?” Jolene asks back. “I could go for two more rounds.”

“Uh-huh,” James replied not believing her at all. “The question that remains would be if you could do them standing.”

Jolene laughed and rolled over to her side.

“Ok, you’re right.” Jolene responds groaning at her sore muscles. “Yeah, you might have to carry me home.”

“I thought you hate being carried.”

“I do, but I wouldn’t mind it today.” Jolene replies throwing herself back onto the matt. She closed her eyes trying to relax. James allowed her the needed silence and made his way to the upstairs track. He started at a fairly fast pace and Jolene remained laid out in the ring.

“You’re still up for running?” she shouts up to him in disbelief still keeping her eyes closed. She was tired up to her bones and James just kept on going. “What are you superhuman?”

James slowed down for a bit and smiled faintly at her even though she couldn’t see it.

“Something like that,” he tells her before picking up the pace once again.

James didn’t know how long he’s been running or what number mile he was on right now but once he sensed the strange tinkling of fatigue did he finally stop. He looked down at Jolene to find her still laid out. Her eyes were still closed but her breathing was slower. James realized that she had fallen asleep so he carefully made his way downstairs and into the boxing ring. Jolene didn’t stir a bit as he reached under her legs and back. He cradled her against his chest and started to carry her out of the gym once he managed to shut off the lights and lock up the place.

Jolene subconsciously feeling the newfound warmth nestled herself closer to it. James felt her hair tickle under his chin but allowed Jolene to her own comfort. He didn’t realize he tired her out this much and made a note not to do it again. The streets were silent and once again empty. James still scanned every alley and street corner for any source of danger but found none. He looked down at the sleeping Jolene who now clutched his shirt in her hands. She seemed to be mumbling something and he barely caught what she was saying.

“I only wanted you to stay,” she whispers. James stopped walking all of a sudden as he heard this. Jolene’s eyes seem to furrow a bit as she repeated it and she shook slightly. “I just wanted you to stay.”

“Jolene,” James called out to her worried. Jolene seem to whimper a bit and her voice was filled with what sounded like fear and sadness.

“Why couldn’t you stay?” she asks a bit more loudly.

“Jolene,” he called out more loudly and urgently. Hearing this, Jolene startled herself awake. She was still shaking and grasping at James’ shirt.

“What happened?” she asked confused, looking around her surrounding unsure of where she was. Once she caught sight of James did she relax a bit. “What happened?” she asked again.

“You were talking in your sleep.”

“I… I didn’t say anything embarrassing did I?” Jolene asks still a bit dazed with fatigue.

“No, not at all… do you not remember?” James asks concerned. She seemed genuinely scared and vulnerable but now she seemed utterly calm. Jolene just shook her head and closed her eyes. She leaned against James chest.

“No, no I don’t remember…” she whispers blankly. James knew something was going on and that Jolene was hiding something but he didn’t push it.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” he asks her. Jolene just nods.

“I just want to go home and sleep.” She mumbles. “Can you just take me home?”

“Of course I can.”

James started walking again and heard Jolene sigh against him. Once he felt her fall asleep in his arms again, did he let his mind wander. The words she said and her poor attempts to hide them made him think of what she could be hiding. He knew he should just let it go but he couldn’t. Jolene’s pleas of wanting someone to stay with her struck a cord on him. He looked down at Jolene and placed a caring kiss on top of her head. James, threw caution at the wind, ignoring the threats of Hydra and possibly SHIELD, and promised himself that night that he would stay with Jolene as long as he could.

 


	10. Stay with Me

James and Jolene were sparring harder than they had before. Throughout the week, James had quickly stepped up his attacks seeing that Jolene managed to keep up with him. Though she still wasn’t as great as any other opponent he had, she wouldn’t give up once she was thrown down.

“You’re getting better.” James states as Jolene laid out on the ring again. She snorted at his comment as he sat down beside her.

“That is such a blatant lie.” Jolene answered. “You threw me on the floor so many times, I started to believe I was a rag doll for a bit.”

James laughed at that.

“I’m serious.” Jolene exclaims. “I swear you’re not even human.”

“Oh really?” James asks her.

“Really,” Jolene responds narrowing her eyes at him. “You know what I think? I think you’re actually a robot. Some cyborg from outer space.”

“You think I’m alien?” James asks her amused.

“Hey! It’s possible.” Jolene argued. “New York had a case of the aliens last year. How would I know you’re not some straggler that managed to escape?”

James chuckles and turns away from her.

“You want some advice?” James asks her.

“Please tell me your biggest weakness is being ticklish.” Jolene responds causing James to laugh once more.

“Sorry doll, that’s not the case.” James tells her in which Jolene just rolls her eyes.

“Doll, really?” she asks him in which he just shrugs his shoulders.

“It suits you, cause you know you said that you were being treated like a rag doll.” James explains causing this time for Jolene to laugh.

“Ok, ok…” Jolene says catching her breath. “What’s this advice that you have yet to tell me?”

“You lose focus when you’re not attacking.” James tells her. “Just remember to keep up your defense and attempt to predict my next move.”

“I try to do that, but you’re like a ninja cat. I can’t read anything on you.”

James just smiled and shook his head at her. He gets up from the floor and offers Jolene his hand to help her up. Jolene swats his hand away and closed her eyes.

“Not yet, please.” She pleaded. “Just let me lay here for a bit.”

“So you can take another nap?” James asks in which Jolene just shrugged. “Come on, Jo. Let’s go.”

“No, just let me… think for a bit.” Jolene states faltering a bit at the thought of the upcoming events that week. She takes a deep breath and sits up from the floor. James offers his hand again and this time Jolene takes it.

They both lock the place up and started to walk down the streets towards Jolene’s apartment. James instantly noticed Jolene’s silence and looked at her with concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asks her after a while. Jolene just sighs but still kept her smile at him as she answered.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just have something that I have to do tomorrow. I’ll be gone the whole day.”

“Are you leaving town?” James asks slightly nervous remembering the last time she left.

“No,” Jolene answers. “I’ll be around town. I just have to visit someone and it usually takes up the whole day…”

“Ok,” James says calming down a bit. “You’ll be home before nightfall, right?”

“Yeah, but I’ll be in pretty late.” Jolene answered. “I wouldn’t recommend waiting up.”

James knew that in her truths there was an underlining of a lie. He saw how well she put up a front of being indifferent about tomorrow but he could see that something was truly bothering her. She wasn’t being her usual playful self and her smile seemed dimmer than before.

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong, doll?” James asks her.

“Everything’s fine, James.” Jolene answered grabbing onto his arm in order to comfort him. “It’s just going to be a long day for me tomorrow.”

\--------------  

James used to not be a light sleeper. From what he could remember, which wasn’t much really, it took him a lot of racket and the threat of Clarice drawing on his face to wake him up. Yet that changed when Hydra forced him to be the Winter Soldier. Light sleeping was a necessity for that lifestyle and it was something James couldn’t shake off.

Though it was one of the many reminders of what Hydra did to him, James found his light sleeping ability useful this morning. As hard as Jolene tried to be silent, James was awake when she first stepped into the living room. He could hear how she walked on the tip of her toes and calculated her steps in order not to step on the creaking wooden boards. James kept his eyes closed and listened carefully as she made her way around the room.

James was instantly concerned when he heard Jolene trying to sneak around him. Something went off in his head that she could be trying to attack him even though he knew that she would never do that. It was a primal instinct for him to always feel threatened.

James opened his eyes not being able to withstand the tense atmosphere that was mainly his doing. He didn’t expect that by opening his eyes, Jolene would be dressed up. She wore a black dress that flowed around her. Her hair was done in a side braid and she wore the faintest amount of makeup. Jolene carried a pair of heels in one hand and a bottle of what seemed to be bourbon in the other. As James made sense of her dressed up appearance, Jolene walked out of the door.

James sat up from the couch, questions rising in his head. _Why was she dressed up like that? Where was she going? Who was she meeting up with? Why did she sneak out?_

James knew he wouldn’t find any answers staying indoors but he still had an unsettling feeling of going outside in the daylight especially without Jolene by his side. He had already changed, the warm weather giving him another problem to deal with since he had to wear a long sleeve to hide the metal arm. Now the problem he faced was actually stepping out. His hand twitched by his side and James sighed.

With one deep breath, James reached forward and opened the door. To his surprise, no one was outside and the breeze of warm air blew past him. Cleo sprinted past him and made herself comfortable in the apartment. James allowed himself to relax, grabbed the spare apartment keys, and started to walk.

As he reached the end of the street, James realized that he had no idea where she had gone. He blamed himself for not getting out of the house fast enough. James, remembering the bottle of bourbon Jolene had taken with her, decided to check at the bar. He had a feeling that even if she wasn’t there that Danny would have an idea as to where she was.

James quickly made his way to the bar and found it as crowded as always. His hand twitched again but mainly because of all the loud noises happening around him that wouldn’t stop. He slowly made his way inside and looked around in hopes of catching a sight of Jolene. There were too many things going on around him and the ridiculous yellow hats made everyone look the same but even then he realized that she wasn’t here.

“What are you doing here, Jamie?” a voice asked from behind him. James quickly turns around and finds Danny looking at him annoyed.

“I was looking for Jolene,” James answered.

“Huh? She left you alone, unsupervised?” Danny asks surprised. “Well that’s not normal.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” James responded feeling even more nervous as to what Jolene was up to. “Do you have any idea where she could be?”

“Nope,” Danny answers pulling them behind the bar counter noticing James apprehensiveness. “Are you ok, son?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He sighs out. “I’m just worried about her. She snuck out this morning without saying goodbye and then she had a bottle of bourbon…”

“Ah crap…” Danny mutters as he hears the last part. “It can’t be…” Danny immediately goes up to the wall and checks the still standing calendar. “Shit, how could I forget?”

“What’s going on, Danny?” James asked even more concerned. “What did you forget?”

Danny sighs and turns to James.

“Today’s an important day for Jolene.” Danny tells him. “It’s the day her father died and a week later…”

“Her mom died too.” James finishes which Danny nods at. “Yeah, she told me.”

“She’s probably at the cemetery.” Danny tells him. “She tends to spend the whole day there. Usually Tony comes by to visit her but who knows what’s keeping him away lately. Jo must be out there alone.”

James hearing all of this quickly made up his mind.

“Tell me how to get to the cemetery.”

Danny looked up at James hesitantly.

“Look, I just want to make sure she’s ok.” James continues. “Jolene, from all people, doesn’t deserve being alone in this.”

Danny sighs and pulls out a pencil from his shirt pocket and a napkin on the bar. He starts to draw a simple map.

“You take care of her, you hear me?” Danny says handing the napkin to James. “I’m trusting you.”

James knew this was a big step between Danny and him. He knew that Danny and him have never seen eye to eye ever since his breakdown.

“I’ll make sure to bring her back in one piece.” James promised to him.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, son.” Danny sighs. “She’s never been complete James. That girl is a cracked porcelain doll, beautiful but slightly broken.”

 ---------------

James walked slowly on the dewed grass. He quietly walked past tombs not paying much attention to it. The whole scene was quiet with the distant sound of birds chirping from a nearby tree. He saw Jolene very clearly. She was kneeled down, her dress pooling beside her, and her head was tilted downward. Loose strands that fell out of her braid fell across her face but she didn’t make a move to push them back.

He cleared his throat as he got closer but Jolene didn’t even acknowledge him. Standing closer to her, he realized that there were slow tears falling down her cheeks. James sat beside her offering her the peace that came with silence.

They sat there like that for a while. James was beginning to think that she hadn’t even noticed him but she slowly looked up at him with tears still rolling down her eyes. James could feel his heart break a little at the sight. He never thought he would see the day where Jolene would seem this broken, so lost.

“What are you doing here, James?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

“I came here for you,” James tells her. “You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“How did you even get here?” Jolene asked him as she turned away from him and back to the gravestone. She sounded like she didn’t want him here which was slightly true and mostly not.

“I went to the bar and Danny gave me directions.” James answered. “He wanted me to make sure you were ok.”

Jolene laughed bitterly at that.

“Jo, are you ok?” James asked concerned.

“Do you really want to know?” Jolene asked him quietly. James nods and Jolene takes a shallow breath before responding. “I’m not ok, James. Today is the day my dad died and then my mom died, and I just… I just never got over it.”

“It’s never easy losing your parents.” James tells her.

“I know,” she answers. “But people are over it by now but I can’t seem to move on. I even moved here to stay close to them… Did you know this was where my dad and mom met? This is where they grew up and got married.”

Jolene sighed and a faint smile graced her lips.

“My mom would always tell me stories from her time here. The park where she ripped her skirt in. The diner with the best milkshakes in the world. My bar used to actually be a pool hall.” Jolene laughed at that but there were tears still evident in her eyes. “The pool hall was the place where my parents met.”

James didn’t say anything and allowed Jolene to reminisce in her own memories. Jolene’s smile faded, her memories were gone, and she stared at the gravestone mindlessly. Her eyes read the inscription over and over again. Jolene lifts her hand to the carvings but it falters in the air. She puts her hand down onto James’ hand and wraps her fingers tightly with his. Jolene closes her eyes and leans her head against James’ shoulder.

James shifted his seating position lightly to allow Jolene a more comfortable position. He brushed her hair and couldn’t resist placing a kiss on top of her head. All he wanted was for her to be happy again but he knew that wasn’t possible today. Instead he did his best to let her mourn and feel less alone in the world.

“From everyone I know, I least expected you to be here with me today.” Jolene tells him after a while. “Thank you for being here with me.”

James just gave her a small smile.

“Ok, now that there’s two of us, I won’t feel to bad about this next part…” Jolene says pulling out the bourbon bottle and cracking it open.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” James asks her concerned.

“Tony never asked that question when we get to this part.” Jolene answered instead. “He just took a swing from the bottle.”

“I’m not Tony, though.” James tells her. Jolene just nods. 

“I know you’re not.” She says quietly. “But can you drink with me anyways?”

James hesitated as Jolene offered him the bottle but knowing that this was the only way to remotely make her feel better, he took the bottle from her.

“Misery does like company…” James mutters before taking a drink. The alcohol burned slightly against his throat but not in the way it used to. Jolene took the bottle away from him and took a swing out of it too.

They passed the bottle between themselves a couple of times. James felt no buzz while Jolene felt a bit drowsy. She suddenly grabbed the bottle from James and stood up. With the remaining few ounces, Jolene poured it on the grave. Suddenly her mood shifts and Jolene reaches back and throws the bottle on the tomb and the glass bottle explodes everywhere.

“What are you doing?!” James asks quickly getting up to his feet.

“It’s how the ritual goes, James.” Jolene tells him. “We pour the last of it to my dad.”

“That’s not what I meant,” James exclaims. “Why did you throw the bottle?”

“Did you know he only needed one more year before his retirement?” Jolene asked him instead staring at the tombstone. “Just one more year and we would have finally settled down. Mom wouldn’t be so alone anymore. I wouldn’t have to move around to another high school or make new friends or restart my life.”

She wiped away the dry tears on her cheek.

“My mom couldn’t handle the loss of him.” Jolene continues. “She had waited so long for him to come home, and he did, but not in the way we had expected it.” Jolene just shook her head. “She was so sad but it was to be expected. I should have known something was wrong when she wouldn’t get out of bed. I should have known something was wrong. Should have seen the signs…”

“Jolene…” James starts to say having a sick feeling in his stomach. 

“She just gave up,” Jolene cries out. “She just gave up on life and she just let herself die. I asked her to fight. I asked her to stay…but she couldn’t.”

“You don’t have to tell me more.” James says trying to stop her tears from falling. Jolene leans into him and quickly pushes herself into an embrace. James held her and could hear her muffled cries through his tear stained shirt.

“Please don’t leave.” Jolene tells him. “Please just stay.”

“Always.” James responds kissing the top of her head. “As long as you’ll have me.”

“I’m sorry,” Jolene says stepping away feeling guilty for all of her current actions. “I’m very emotional right now and my head’s fuzzy with the drinking.”

“Are you feeling better?” he asked her.

“A little…” Jolene answered. “I’ve never uh… I’ve never told anyone what I told you today. It was my last memory of my mother. I never shared it with anyone, not even Tony. So…”

“You can always trust me, Jolene.” James says placing a hand on her cheek and stroking it gently.

“And vice versa,” Jolene says poking James’ chest. James smiled at that as he saw the old Jolene come back.

“How about we head out of here?” James asks her. “Let’s go get some shakes and fries and watch a movie at home, huh?”

“Sounds great, I just need to say goodbye.” Jolene says quietly. James nods at that and Jolene sighed before turning back to the tombstone.

“Bye Mom and Dad,” she whispered quietly. “Sorry I threw the bottle at you two again. I guess I can still go overboard sometimes… I miss you and uh… I think I’m going to be fine now. I think I’ve always been fine I just needed someone to show that to me so… don’t worry about me. Just take care of each other up there, will ya? Thanks.”

She placed a kiss on the top of the tomb and stood up. James offered her his arm and Jolene took it. They both start to make their way back home and for the first time that day, Jolene was happy. A weight had been lifted off her shoulder and she felt relieved by it.

\-----------------

James couldn’t stop laughing as Jolene and him walked home. He had planned this walk back home to be different. It should have been him making Jolene laugh but instead it was the other way around. She seemed happier. Lighter. He saw her returning back to her old self and that was all he could ever ask for.

“Believe me!” Jolene exclaimed after telling James one of Tony’s stories. “He gave me a car when I was 15 hoping that I could just figure out how to work it and get myself to school. I probably could have figured it out but it wasn’t just like a regular piece of junk car but a sports car.”

“So what happened next?” James asked her unable to stop laughing.

“Oh you’re going to love the next part…” Jolene responds chewing on a French fry. “I crashed through his house and into the pool.”

James spit out his milkshake in laughter.

“He was so mad!” Jolene laughs out. “A brand new car that I drove straight into the pool! Can you imagine his face? Oh man… he of course couldn’t stay mad at me for long. Like two seconds after it happened, after he pulled me out of the sinking car, he makes a joke about how I should _carpool_ from now on.”

“Wow he sounds like a douche.” James remarks.

“An overprotective immature and caring douche.” Jolene corrects grabbing another French fry. “I can’t wait for you to meet him. He’ll most likely insult you at your face and then give you a check to apologize for it.”

Jolene dips the French fry on her milkshake and eats it while James looks at her in disgust.

“That’s disgusting.”

“You’re disgusting.” Jolene counteracts as she narrows her eyes at him. “Now hold this.”

She hands off her bag of French fries and her shake to James as she pulls out the keys from her bag and unlocks the front door of her apartment. Jolene kicks her heels out and starts to run upstairs.

“You pick a movie and set it up while I go change out of this.” Jolene shouted at him before disappearing.

James having no other choice puts their food down and looks over her large array of movies. He really didn’t have a preference and decided to leave the choice up to her. James sat on the couch and decided to just turn on the television. The TV screen flickered to life and immediately reveals live feed of an attack occurring in Sokovia. James wasn’t paying much attention until a familiar face appeared on the screen.  

“Steve?” he whispered to himself as a blue uniform fought against what seemed to be robots. James quickly raises the volume on the television causing the whole room to vibrate with the sudden sound. _“Another victory won for the Avengers. In a small country of Sokovia, an attack caused by a superficial intelligence named Ultron, threatened the life of many citizens and the overall world…”_

James ignored the reporter’s voice as he searched for another video footage of Steve. A big part of him wanted to make sure he was safe.

Jolene quickly ran in as she heard the sound coming from downstairs. As she caught sight of the video footages and pictures of Sokovia, her mind started to resort to panic once again. She grabbed the remote control and immediately muted the news. She wrapped her sweater tightly around and stared at the screen in worry.

Both James and Jolene couldn’t take their eyes away from the television screen. Both worried for two completely different loved ones. Jolene found herself once again holding the remote control and shutting the tv off. She stood up from her seat, drained of the emotional toil that the day has seem to have brought to her, and stares mindlessly at the black screen.

“I have to go make a phone call,” is all she said before leaving the room. James knew that the night was over and her happiness was once again taken from her. Cleo rubbed against James’ legs and he picked her up. The cat purred against his hand and James allowed himself the briefest moment of solemn peace.


	11. Being Human

Jolene had rushed everything. The schedule she organized in her mind was thrown out the window after the news broadcast of the Avengers saving another life threatening villain. It wasn’t like her to be like this but she was running on drained emotions. She was angry, upset, and overall tired of being left out.

Would it really have hurt Tony to call her when this happened? Could he not simply pick up the phone and warn her what was to come? Not even a simple, “ _hey, I won’t be coming over for that dreadful day. I’m off saving the world… again!”_ Jolene couldn’t distinguish what she was feeling at the moment. It was all a jumbled mess and James took notice that she was struggling in keeping herself together.

That’s why when Jolene had asked him to pack a bag for a short road trip, he hadn’t realized it was _the_ road trip that he’s been dreading ever since she’s mentioned it to him. Jolene only gave him a day to prepare for this visit into the place he ran away from. James did the best he could to pack his weapons discreetly and make a plan as to how to deflect security.

Everything else that was needed had been last minute. The plans, the renting of the car, the last minute reservation of the hotel, everything had been last minute. In her defense, Jolene was too in shock and not in the best place at mind.

Jolene sped through city lines to get into D.C. There was only one person she could rely on at the moment and that was Sam. Sam wasn’t a part of the Avengers. He was just one of her old therapist friends that was best friends with Steve Rogers. As Jolene drove down the familiar streets of Washington D.C. did she start to have the settling realization that Sam was friends with _the_ Steve Rogers and that he most likely was doing some super hero work too. She mentally face palmed herself for her brashness and once they reached the hotel parking lot di she immediately start to call Sam.

James took one soft step out of the car. He expected some sort of explosion or SWAT team to come and tackle him to the ground. For some reason, neither of those things happened and James relaxed, just a tiny bit though.

Jolene once again was on high alert, something that James couldn’t comprehend. It had only been a day after her parent’s memorial day and she had turned into a completely different person. For once, Jolene was the paranoid one and seemed to be in the brink of a panic attack.

James was kind enough to take out the bags out of the car and bring them into the hotel. Once Jolene unlocked the doors, James was introduced to a warm and small room. It held a small kitchen, a simple bathroom, and just one single bed. Jolene had a phone pressed against her ear not allowing James to ask her about the single bed..

“I should have known that this was a bad idea but Tony and Pepper didn’t answer their phones and you’re the first one who’s answered so far.” Jolene rants. “I swear I was going to wait for next week to come here but I kind of let my emotions overrule my common sense so now I’m here with James and I… I honestly don’t know what I’m doing right now.”

James watched her in concern as her tense shoulders relaxed.

“Ok Sam,” Jolene whispers. “You do your secret research mission which I should of known you were in and I’ll just get my shit together and do some volunteer work at the Veterans center while you’re gone.”

Another brief pause and Jolene seemed to even smile.

“Yeah, yeah… love you too, Sam. Take care.”

Once Jolene hung up the phone and had a second of silence did she notice the single king size bed in the room.

“Oh shit,” Jolene whispers. “One bed.”

“Don’t worry about it,” James states. “I’ll just take the couch.”

“No, no, no… you don’t have to do that.” Jolene says stopping him from placing his stuff on the couch. “We’ve shared a twin size bed before, unplanned though, but we made it work. It’s a king size bed anyways. It should be enough room for both of us.”

James was hesitant but knew better than to argue with Jolene. He knew he had no other choice and let his bags drop on the right side of the bed. Jolene was relieved at that and all of the stress she had been running from finally caught up to her.

“This was a bad idea.” She states. “I’m running and I never run. I’m honestly must be out of my mind because I would never just leave like this. I always have a plan and order. Now… now I’m just running into things blind.”

James unsure of what to say just sat right next to her and held her hand.

“Tony and Pepper didn’t answer my calls so I don’t know if they’re ok. Sam is doing some research work and I came here to talk to him. I really needed to talk to him… someone, really.”

“You can always talk to me, Jo.”

Jolene’s smile to James was brief as the reality of things settled with her. The words that Sam told her that last time they saw each other seem to resonate into her mind. It’s been a while since that night but the message was still the same. _Don’t get too attached._

“I shouldn’t even be relying on you,” Jolene whispers tugging her hand away from him. “It’s not professional.”

“Jo…”

“I need to go for a walk.” Jolene states not even glancing at him. “I have to go find someone.”

James instantly felt a tinge of hurt at the mention of finding someone else. He watched Jolene ignore him as she grabbed her keys and left, not even a goodbye was said to him.

Jolene was not thinking clearly and she knew that ever since she saw James at the cemetery the other day. She let her guard down. Jolene had actually let her guard down to the one person who shouldn’t have seen the cracks and splinters of her broken mind. She was supposed to be modeling strength, a put together person, just a normal human being. After being able to do it for every soldier or veteran that’s come her way, she managed to slip with James and she couldn’t understand why.

Why was James so different than the others? Jolene asked herself. How did he manage to get her to show him her true colors?

Questions like those were running through her mind and she couldn’t make them stop. She did the one thing that Sam advised her not too. Jolene had managed to get attached to her so-called patient. Jolene had managed to hold on to James as a crutch. How could she not when he was always there for her while people who she called family weren’t?

Jolene parked the car and looked at the apartment building in front of her unsure of how she got here so fast. The address that Sam had sent her had told her that it was across town. She shouldn’t have gotten here this soon but as she looked at her clock did she notice that it had been twenty minutes. Once again, Jolene blamed her wired mind for the lack of awareness of time.

Gathering her nerves and making sure she didn’t look like a mess, Jolene walked into the simple building and made her way upstairs. She took the stairs to prolong the visit that she was about to make. Every step taking her longer than the last. Jolene had finally made it to the upper level and found the apartment room building. She could hear the old jazz from her position behind the door. Jolene timidly raised her hand and knocked on the wooden door.

Her knock seem to echo and the music crackles before stopping. Jolene heard the steps approach the door, unlock, and open slowly to reveal Steve’s surprised face. Jolene gave him a small smile, sighing, and trying to keep herself together.

“Jolene, I never expected you to come visit me.” Steve states before backtracking. “I mean… not that I’m not glad to see you. It’s just that… shouldn’t you be visiting Tony?”

Jolene just shook her head.   
“I was going to but he didn’t answer his phone and neither did Pepper.” Jolene answers. “I came here to visit Sam but he’s off doing who knows what.”

“He’s got a lead for a missing person out in Canada.” Steve tells her. “Won’t be back till later this week.”

“Sam told me that much.” Jolene replies. “He’s looking for your friend Bucky, right?”

“Yeah, he’s been using his free time to help me out.” Steve replies.

“That’s Sam for you,” Jolene responds. “Always helping others.”

Steve noticed how Jolene’s eyes dropped at her last statement. It was very clear that something was disturbing the woman in front him. Even so that she came for him for help. _Him,_ the man out of time.

“What can I help you with Jolene?” Steve asks her.

Jolene looked up at him shyly.

“That obvious I need help, huh?” she asks him as Steve steps aside to let her in.

“I’ll like to think you came to visit but you seem upset.”

Jolene averted her eyes from Steve and instead looked over the simple apartment that held countless old records and basic furniture. She never expected a hero like Captain America to live like this. It was certainly nothing compared to how Tony lived like.

Steve motioned her to the couch and he sat beside her trying to guess the reason for her visit. He took notice as to how she seemed to distract herself with the things on his shelf and living room. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the record player and a genuine smile crept up her face. Steve cleared his throat in an attempt to catch her attention and Jolene immediately sighed and turned to look at him.

“What are you doing here, Jolene?” Steve asks again wanting a real answer now.

“Tony’s not picking up the phone. I assume Pepper is still in China. I came here to see Sam but he’s in Canada being his definition of a hero and I’m left alone.” Jolene states. “Well I’m not really alone but I can’t confide with that one person because I’m supposed to be helping him… not the other way around.”

It took a few seconds for Steve to process Jolene’s rapid answer but he managed to understand more clearly as to why Jolene was there with him, of all people.

“You want advice, don’t you?”

“I want someone to just listen to me who’s not a part of the crazy thing called my life.” Jolene confesses. “And maybe some advice wouldn’t hurt either.”

Steve chuckles at that and settles down quickly. He looked at the young woman in front wondering how he managed to get roped into this situation but nonetheless he was willing to help a new friend.

“What’s bothering Jolene?”

“Well first off, you calling me Jolene.” She starts off causing Steve to laugh again. “Please just call me Jo. _Jolene_ is such a mouthful to say all the time.”

“Fine… _Jo_ , what’s bothering you?”

Jolene just sighed at the question and thought of where to begin.

“I have this great ability to show a good front.” Jolene states causing Steve to quirk his eyes in confusion so Jolene continues. “I know how the mind works. I know how emotions work. I know biological and social cues. I know how to appear put together… but lately I’ve been faltering.”

“How so?”

“I’ve been…” Jolene whispers trying to find the words to explain what was happening. “I’ve been helping this guy out…”

“James.” Steve says remembering the name.

“Yeah, James.” Jolene agrees. “James’ been doing great. He’s smiling and laughing. He used to not do that. James used to just be silent and moved like the world was about to be set on fire or something. But now, James is becoming more normal… more human, while I’ve been doing the opposite.”

Jolene sighed as she remembered the scene in the cemetery.

“I should be his crutch. I should be his anchor to reality and I was.” Jolene explains. “I was his anchor, the one thing that kept him together and this has never happened to me. But James… James is a special case. I’ve never seen anyone seem so lost in my life until I met him.”

Jolene pauses as she remembers the first night she met James. The water slightly dripping from his hair. The black clothing he wore that clung to his body tightly but was still bulky for some reason. The eternal black hole of confusion his eyes held. Steve noticed Jo’s mind stray away and cleared his throat in hopes that she’ll snap out of it.

“So what happened, Jo?”

“What happened…” Jolene repeated trying to find the answer herself. “What happened was that my bar’s getting remodeling done, James opened up to me about some things about his past, and we were both enjoying our time together. Then came the dreadful day and Tony wasn’t here… I had to go through my parents memorial day alone until… until James came out of the blue and saw the rare sight of me not being a functioning human being.”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“It’s not wrong.” Jolene answers. “But it wasn’t right for him to see it. It wasn’t right for him to be there.”

“Why not?”   
“Because he helped me through it.” Jolene tells him. “I confided in him things that Tony doesn’t know. I cried and scream and raged with him there. I broke down right in front of him and James… James just helped me through it.”

“I’m really failing to see the problem here.”

“The problem is that I’m supposed to be the therapist. I’m supposed to be the one helping people who don’t have their life together… it was never meant to be turned around like this. I was never supposed to switch roles with my patient.” Jolene explains. “Now I’m using him to hold myself together the same way he’s using me to hold himself together.”

Steve stared at her still confused as to what the problem was. The way he saw it, this James was helping her and Jolene was helping him. There seem to be no harm in any of that but Jolene’s distress showed otherwise. Steve was just missing the point.

“I’m still missing the point here,” Steve confesses. “How is any of this a bad thing?”

Jolene just sighs.

“There’s rules I live by. Rules that therapists live by.” Jolene explains. “We’re never supposed to become attached to our patients. We’re just guides to help them through the troubles of life, nothing more. No attachments because once they get better they don’t need you anymore.” Jolene runs her hand through her hair in anguish. “ _I_ have rules of my own to stop myself from crossing these lines but I’ve seem to be breaking them left to right. I honestly don’t know how to stop myself from going on in this path because if I continue like this… I’m going to be so lost when James decides its time for him to go.”

“And why do you think he’ll just leave you?”

“Because that’s what everyone tends to do.” Jolene answers. “They leave.”

That particular phrase struck a cord in Steve, causing him to remember the scene on the train where he just left Bucky behind. Steve quickly shook his head from that thought and turned back to Jolene who seemed to be having her own depressing flashback.

“Who’s left you, Jolene?”

Jolene takes a deep breath and closes her eyes seeing faces everywhere in that split second.

“My father always left my mother and I for work. My mom left after my dad died. Tony was there for most of my life but once things started to really pick up for him he left. ” Jolene answers. “Everyone I care about it seems.”

“If this is how you feel then why don’t you go look for them instead of having this idea they abandoned you?” Steve asks her.

“What do you mean?” Jolene asked confused.

“Take me for example, Jo.” Steve starts of with a sigh. “I just found out the one friend I though had died is actually alive and I’m trying my hardest to find him because I owe it to him… to myself. I’m trying to correct my mistakes.”

“What mistakes could you have possibly be made Cap?”

“Ones that changed all of history and possibly Bucky.”

Jolene didn’t know much of Steve’s old friend Bucky. She just knew that he had died back in 1940 and that Steve was broken up about it. Now it turns out that he was back and those details to her where still confusing but it was clear that Steve really wants to find him.

“Tell me more about Bucky.”

“Are you going to try to turn this session around on me?” Steve asked with a chuckle. Jolene just shrugged her shoulders playfully.

“I’ll tell you about James if you tell me about Bucky.” Jolene offered.

“I don’t know how…you know what? Fine.” Steve reluctantly agrees. “Ok Bucky… where do I even start?”

“How was his personality?” Jolene asked him.

“He was… confident.” Steve says. “Yeah, very confident and it’s obvious that he was always meant for something big. He just had the attitude for it. Not only was he confident but brave too. He was always worried about his sisters and niece too, never forgot about them. A good man. A great friend, really. Protective of me before I took the serum. He helped me through a lot now that I remember. Bucky let me stay with him after my mom died. Told me that things would be fine.”

“Hmm,” Jolene hummed finding similarities with his story and hers. “James found me at my parents graves and he just heard me out. Comforted me in silence and then…” Jolene couldn’t help but laugh. “He said we should get some milkshakes and fries and watch a movie at home. I told him stories of my childhood and he just laughed.”

Steve couldn’t help but see the deep connection Jolene had with this James. It all made sense why she was so afraid to rely on him too heavily and why her fear of him leaving caused her much distress. It was obvious for him to see that Jolene liked this guy. Steve would even go as far to say that she was falling in love with him. He didn’t know how to come out with this theory of his because it was obvious to him that Jolene didn’t even know herself what she had gotten herself into.

“This James guy…” Steve starts to say unsure of how to ask her. “Do you like him?”

“Of course I like him.” Jolene answers oblivious to Steve’s true question. “He’s finally opened up and trusts me. I guess… I’ve done the same with him so yeah… I kinda have to like someone to do that.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Steve tells her causing Jolene to frown at him in confusion. “I meant if you like him… romantically?”

Jolene opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times unsure of how to respond. She turned away from Steve, a blush rushing up to her cheeks, as her mind blanked. She wasn’t sure how to answer that and that simply became the answer. Her heart beats rapidly inside her and she knew the answer. She knew the answer but didn’t want to come out with it because it couldn’t possibly be true. Jolene knew better than to fall in love with her patient. That was her major rule but it didn’t surprise her if she broke that rule too. Jolene turns back to Steve who looked at her waiting to hear the expected answer.

“Maybe I do…” Jolene whispers. “I don’t know.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile faintly at that.

“I’d suggest you go find this lucky guy and figure out what you feel.”

Jolene was afraid and yet thrilled at this.  
“Thanks Steve,” She tells Steve as she stood up. Steve just smiled at her and grabbed a nearby pen and paper to scribble his number down. He handed it to her as he started to escort her out of his apartment.

“Call me whenever you need someone to talk to.”

“I will,” Jolene whispers. “Though I must admit I’m surprised that you know how to use a cellphone since elderlies always have trouble.”

Steve just rolled his eyes at that.

“And there’s that Tony Stark humor I was waiting for.”

Jolene just giggled at that as she pocketed Steve’s phone number into her shorts. She walked out of his front door and turned back to him with a genuine smile.

“Thanks again Steve for hearing me out.” Jolene placed a kiss on his cheek and couldn’t help but chuckle as the Captain America blushed in front of her. “Good luck in finding your friend Bucky.”

With that, Jolene turned and walked away. Her head less heavy than it was before. Steve watched Jolene go and couldn’t believe he actually gave love advice to a woman who Stark considered a sister. If Tony could see him here, he would certainly not let him live this down. Especially since Stark was an overprotective person overall and Steve just told his one close relative to follow her heart. Oh man, he certainly was going to get it when all of this resolved itself. Tony would certainly not let him _even live_ to live this down.

 -----------------

Jolene walked into the apartment unaware to the mistake she made for leaving James alone in a city she assumed he knew nothing about. As she took notice of the empty hotel room did panic rise into her chest. Nothing was destroyed, which should have brought her relief, but it didn’t. In fact it made it worse. James left on his own accord and she had the urge to cry for making someone else she cared about leave.

She looked over the room and found all of his stuff there. Maybe he hadn’t left. Maybe he went for a walk or a run or something that meant he would come back. Jolene held onto this hope but there was still a nagging voice in her head that voiced out doubt. Doubt, that he had had enough of her insecurities and brokenness to cause him to leave.

Jolene ran down to the lobby and made her way to the reception desk. She tried to look put together when the young receptionist hung up the phone and looked at her in question.

“What can I help you with today?” she asked Jolene. “Was your room not to your expectations?”

“Actually it wasn’t but that’s the least of my worries.” Jolene answers. “The man I was with when I came in, he wasn’t in the room just now.”

“Your husband left right after you did.” The receptionist answered.

“He’s not my…” Jolene starts off but doesn’t finish. “Look did you see where he went?”

“I only saw him walk out, look at the brochures in that rack over there, grab one and leave.” The receptionist tells her, leaning closer to her. “Did you two have a fight or something?”

Jolene wished that was the case, then she would be assured that James would come back. She slightly huffed at the receptionist and turned away from her not answering her question. Jolene looked at the crowded lobby and found the doors swinging open just in time to see the baseball cap and tattered sweater that James owned. Jolene left the reception desk and quickly ran towards James who was obviously to her relieved state.

“James,” she sighed as she pulled him into a hug. James was surprised and was slightly pushed back by the force Jolene came running in. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. “I thought you ran away. I got so worried.”  

“I just had to go for a walk.” James assured her noticing her concerned expression. “You didn’t think I actually leave you, did you doll?”

Jolene didn’t know what to say as she saw the sincerity in his eyes. James became more disturbed as he realized that she had actually thought that.

“I meant it when I said I would never leave your side, Jo.” James told her. “As long as you’ll have me.”

Jolene just smiled at that, feeling a strange yet warm sensation inside her. Noticing how close they were to each other, she detangles herself from him.

“Where did you run off to?” she asked him curiously. “I’ve been gone for a few hours.”

“I uh…” James mumbles as he thought back to where he went to. “I just walked around really.”

Jolene took the answer and didn’t question him any further. James let out a mental sigh of relief and walked back to the hotel room with Jolene who chattered excitedly about how horrible traffic was in D.C. James couldn’t help but let his mind wander to what happened a few hours ago.

_James was left alone in the room and a slight panic was settling into him. James closed his eyes and took a deep breath. A voice he hadn’t heard in a while slipped through the cracks of his broken mind, the Soldier telling him that Jolene was weak. James shook his head from that thought. Reminding himself of the strength that Jolene always had. She was just going through a rough patch. She would be ok from it soon, he’ll make sure of it._

_Once again the Soldier resurfaced wanting to be pulled out. He knew that from the both of them that he was the strongest one. The Winter Soldier was the only one who could get things done while James just got in the way. James shut his eyes tighter hating the words that were resonating in his head. He was doing so well in repressing this side of him but it seemed that he was losing his hold._

_James opened his eyes as he felt determination rise in him. He needed to be strong and James only knew of one way to do it. James grabbed his things and started to make his way out of the hotel. He looked over the pamphlet section in the lobby, found what he was looking for, and made his way out into the streets of the real world._

_James didn’t realize that the Winter Soldier’s presence was long gone when he found himself roaming the streets of D.C. just wearing a hoodie and a baseball hat to hide his appearance. It wasn’t his best disguise especially when he was on his way to a popular and secure museum attraction._

_He didn’t know what to expect once he made it in. Yes he knew he would see the face of his friend everywhere but he never expected a wing about himself as well and it was fairly new too. There were holes in his memory and just walking through the hallway dedicated to his life, filled in some of those holes._

_James saw his face in one of the hologram screens and his eyes pierced through his own. The man that was well-cut and shaved. He had a life and a family. That man remembered everything. He knew what he was doing. He was supposed to be a hero and instead he became the opposite. That man died a long time ago and a new breed of monster arose to take his place. James couldn’t take it anymore and left the Captain America Memorial wing immediately._

_He hadn’t expected that seeing his life broadcasted like that would make him feel more disturbed. Disturbed that he no longer was who he used to be. It was worth the risk of being captured if he could just find out who he was before and who he was meant to be now._

_Jolene helped him laugh and smile and remember what it was to be human. It relieved him even more when he noticed that she wasn’t perfect either. That she wasn’t always happy and that her tragedy weighed on her heavily. It made him feel better when she opened up to him and allowed him to comfort her. It made him feel the lost feeling of being a hero. He just wanted to be her hero._

_There was this love he had for her that he couldn’t remember when it started. Perhaps it was the first day he met her when he clearly knew that she was debating whether to use the shotgun under the bar counter on him. Maybe it was when she first made him smile or laugh or forget everything that happened in his past. It was most likely the day she fell asleep with him, holding his hand through the whole night, not afraid of him. He knew he was head over heels for this one girl but there was no chance he could have her. Not in the way that he was, a broken man with a long past who’s hidden this from her._

_James loved Jolene but he was unsure of how to deal with it._

 

He watched her hold his metal hand as if it was second nature. Jolene smiled at him, a slight blush on her cheeks, as she led him to the elevator. His eyes flickered around his surroundings, securing the perimeter, and he noticed the receptionist smiling at them for some reason. James turned his attention back to Jolene who was still rambling about how some people had the audacity to focus on their phone instead of driving. James couldn’t help but smile at how passionate she was about this random topic. This was why he was happy. This was why his past didn’t matter to him anymore. This one hyperactive crazy woman made him feel human again. And for that reason, he promised himself he’ll work hard to be the person she deserves to be with. No matter what it takes.

 

 


	12. Bonus Points

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James tries to be cool, Jolene catches his lie. 
> 
> By far one of my cutest chapter to write in my opinion.

Jolene laid awake on her side of the bed. After a late night dinner and crappy late night tv, Jolene and James decided to go to sleep. They took their own side of the bed, shut off all the lights, and laid down to dream. Yet all Jolene could do was remain awake. Thoughts were coursing through her brain and they weren’t stopping any times soon. She remained still and quiet.

Jolene from a distance looked like she was asleep but she was everything but that. She didn’t know why she remained awake. Perhaps it was the nagging worry she had for Tony or maybe the whereabouts of Sam. Yet it was most what Steve pointed out something she never thought she would feel and the advice that came after.

Love.

She should have known it was possible when she saw Delilah and Chris walk together in the park after all these years of marriage. She should have known it had no barriers when Thor told her of how he met Jane and didn’t care much of her being a mortal or that they were light years away. She should have known it changes people when Tony found Pepper and he quit his old Playboy ways for her.

Love for Jolene was a mystery. She’s never felt it before, never had it. Jolene just didn’t understand it. For a woman who knew everything about how the mind works and their desires, Jolene came up blank with her own definition of love and it’s effect. What Jolene did know was the definition of love that Psychology had told her. There’s three different types of love ; Fatuous Love, Romantic Love, and Companionate Love.

Fatuous Love was the pairing of commitment and passion. There was no deeper level of getting to know each other. It was a commitment for a more sexual relationship than sensual. Fatuous Love didn’t allow partners to get to know each other or loses the sense of connectedness with their partner. This was clearly not what Jolene felt for James.

Romantic Love was the pairing of intimacy and passion. This love had the partners knowing each other in and out. This love held passion in both personal and physical sense. So as Jolene thought of this love, it did apply to her in the personal aspect. She knew James in and out, or she liked to think she did. But she had never really seen him in a physical aspect. She had only focused on his mental and emotional problems, but as he laid beside her, his strong back showing, his long hair tucked in a loose bun, the slight stubble on his cheek and chin, Jolene couldn’t help but find him attractive now. She didn’t seem to notice this until now and blushed lightly as she immediately looked away from him and stared at the dark wall in front of her.

No, romantic love wasn’t what she had with James. Though now she was having a hard time thinking anything other than his physical attributes. Yet even with her mind busy with that thought, she knew that James and her relationship had never gone to that point. So that left one kind of love left, Companionate Love.

Jolene sighed as she thought of this kind of love. This love was what she felt for James. She was sure of it. Companionate Love involved intimacy and commitment. James and Jolene had revealed themselves to each other, becoming each other’s anchor. And time and time again, James has promised Jolene that he would never leave her. Though Jolene was having a hard time believing that, James was adamant in his promise. Commitment and Intimacy was what they had with each other. There was no doubt about it.

“Jolene?” James asked her as he turned to look at her. “You’re still awake?”

“Yeah,” Jolene states as she sat up against the bedframe. “How did you know?”

“You’re kind of a loud thinker.” James answers sitting up next to her and turning on the lamp on the night table.

“Oh really?” Jolene asks him.

“Really.” James answers looking over her again. “Are you ok? Is something wrong?”

Jolene shook her head and sighed. She smiled up at him to assure him she was fine.

“I’m fine, James.” She answers. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

“I would ask you for more details but I’m afraid you’ll run out again and it’s too late for a young dame like you to be out in the streets alone.”

Jolene just chuckles at his wording and his concern.

“Don’t worry,” she tells him. “I promise I’ll stay put.”

“Good,” James states a bit relieved. “Wouldn’t know what to do without you, doll.”

“Neither would I,” Jolene answers smiling faintly at him. “I mean… I wouldn’t know what to do without you, not without me. That would be hard to do and I…I’m going to stop now.”

James chuckled at her rambling and felt something inside him swell with warmth as those words passed her lips. The way she was looking at him made him believe he had a chance with her and it was becoming hard for him not to kiss her right there and then. So James did the only things possible, he looked away from her beautiful smile and tried to gather his wits.

“So…” he said trying to get his heart back on track. “What was causing you to think so hard that you couldn’t sleep?”

“Umm… well I guess I should be honest, huh?” Jolene asked him which James just nodded, still unable to look at her yet. Jolene sighs as she sees his nod and looked at the wall across from her too. “I was thinking about… love.”

James snapped towards her so quick he could have almost snapped his own neck. Jolene blushed, his action not unnoticed. She grabbed one of the spare pillows on the bed and covered her red face.

“I know, it’s such a girly thing to think about. I’m being such a teenage girl and I shouldn’t have even told you because…well… anyways! I just… I know I told you that it was an insignificant emotion but I was wrong… maybe... I don’t know. Please say something!”

James couldn’t help but feel his heart falter as she rambled like a nervous schoolgirl on the playground. His mind couldn’t help but stray to earlier that day when she left him alone to find someone. Someone that wasn’t him. Could it be possible that she found someone else so soon?

“Does this have to do with you finding someone today?” James asks voicing out his concerns.

“No…” Jolene answers causing James to be relieved, yet that didn’t last long. “Actually yes.”

James silence was momentary as Jolene quickly filled it.

“I caught up with an old friend of mine.” Jolene tells him. “We talked and he…”

“You love him.” James interrupts, his happiness disappearing with every passing second.

“I do,” Jolene states causing his heart to break even more. “But in a friendly way.”

“What does that mean?” James asks her.

“It means he’s friendzoned.” Jolene states with a chuckle. “And he has no chance with me whatsoever. He’s just a friend that gave me some good advice today and I love him for that.”

James thought this over, still trying to comprehend what she just told him.

“Besides, he’s not my type.” Jolene snorts out. “He’s too good and kind. And now that I’m thinking about it, seeing my past dating record, I think I have a thing for bad boys.”

James couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“What?!” Jolene exclaimed with a laugh of her own. “What can I say? A man wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans is kinda hot. Bonus points if he rides a motorcycle.”

“I ride a motorcycle.” James states.

“Oh really?” Jolene asks skeptically. “And how come I haven’t seen this motorcycle before?”

James immediately regretted those words coming out of his mouth and he became speechless, unsure of what to tell her. Jolene couldn’t help but laugh at his shattered expression, clutching her stomach as tears rolled down her face.

“You really… you really were trying…” Jolene gasped out between laughs. “Oh my god, James! You really did try!”

James couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment as Jolene’s laughter continued.

“Are you done?” James asks her as her laughter never seemed to end. Jolene could only shake her head no. After a few minutes, and a glance to James solemn expression, Jolene stopped her laughing fit.

“I believe you when you say you know how to ride a motorcycle.” Jolene says trying to crack a smile on him. “I guess that means you get those bonus points I mentioned.”

James could only roll his eyes at her in disbelief. Yet Jolene ignored his broken masculinity and leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. James stiffened at her closeness, turning slightly to her near face.

“What else can I do to get bonus points?” James asked in a faint husky whisper.

Jolene couldn’t help but giggle, blushing slightly, not daring to move away.

“Careful, James. A girl might think you’re flirting with little old me.”

“Maybe I am…” James admits.

Jolene blushed at that and cleared her throat. He was just being a nice guy to her. There was no possible way that he could like her and even if he did, she was still struggling if she should pursue this or not.

“Goodnight, James.” She whispers to him before quickly laying down on her side of the bed. No more words were exchanged which caused James to push his desires to tell her what he really felt aside. He had no other choice but to lay down on his side of the bed and turn the lights off. His dreams of her couldn’t come soon enough.

\---------------

Jolene groaned as she felt the sunlight fill the whole room stirring her from her sleep. She tried to hide her face under her pillow but it was no use, the sun managed to shine everywhere. Jolene unhappily throws the pillow aside and sits up. Her eyes scanned the room and the bed to find it empty once again. Instead of panic rising within her, it was concern. She saw no letter or note to advise her where he went this time.

Though she was a bit peeved that James once again left without warning, she was also happy to have the room to herself. This allowed her the opportunity to shower and get ready without worrying about the man that shared the same bed with her.

Jolene took a long hot shower and took her time drying her hair and getting changed. By the time that she left the bathroom, James was already back. He wore an obvious sweaty sweatshirt and sweatpants. His hair was up again but this time in a low ponytail. His face was slightly red but smiling at her nonetheless.

“Went running I presume.” Jolene states as she packed her toiletries away.

“Gotta stay in shape,” James answered.

Jolene couldn’t help but giggle.

“I can imagine that staying in shape is a necessity if you’re riding a badass motorcycle.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” James asks standing up from his seat and making his way to the bathroom.

“Never!”

“That’s what I thought.” He mutters as he closes the bathroom door. After a few seconds, Jolene hears the shower running and had to immediately get her mind straight as her thoughts immediately jumped to James’ strong body taking a long hot shower just a few feet away from her. So Jolene did what she did best, run away when her emotions were in a frizzy.

Jolene made it to the hotel lobby. There she calmly walked out of the hotel, found a local coffee shop, grabbed a box of baked delicacies and two coffees. By the time she came back to the hotel room, after having a brief conversation with the hotel manager in the issue of keeping it down at 2 in the morning, Jolene entered the room to a freshly showered James. She smiled at him as she set the food on the table.

“Breakfast is served.” She states waving her hands to the table. James could only snort as he took a seat across from her and pulled a cup of coffee towards him.

“I love it when you cook for me.” James retorts sarcastically.

“I love it when you ride your motorcycle.” Jolene answers fiercely back.

“I should really know better than to make fun of you.” James states opening the box of different types of muffins and croissants.

“Seriously,” Jolene states grabbing the chocolate chip muffin from the box and biting into it. “You’ve lived with me for a couple of months. You should have learned not to trifle with me by now.”

“I’ve learned my lesson.” James states grabbing a plain croissant. “For now…”

Jolene could only shake her head at him but decided to drop the subject. They both ate peacefully together, enjoying their time with each other, forgetting to flirt with one another and that they both had feelings for each other. This was why they would last. They didn’t overthink things and their relationship flowed well without joking banters and sexual prowess. They both just got along and it was rare to find that one person you could do that with.

Jolene and James spent quite some talking about everything yet nothing at all. Once they were done with their breakfast, Jolene thought it would be best to take James on a shopping spree. Seeing that she had Tony’s emergency credit card and he had yet to pick up one of her calls, she decided it was best if he put him to work.

“So, since I’ve got some time and you clearly as well have some time, I thought that we could go buy more clothes for you.” Jolene states. James was about to open his mouth to reject the idea but Jolene didn’t allow him to. “Look, handy downs are great but they can only do so much. I want you to have things of your own.”

“Well then I’ll pay them with my own money, not yours.” James argues.

“Technically, it isn’t my money.” Jolene states pulling out the shiny black credit card and showing it to him. “It’s my friend’s Tony’s money.”

“I feel even less inclined to accept his money.”

“He’s a billionaire for God’s sake. He’s not gonna miss it!” Jolene exclaims. “Besides, this is payback for ignoring my phone calls.”

“I still don’t like this, Jolene.” James tells her.

“Please…” Jolene pleads. “Do it for me and my petty revenge.”

Jolene gave him her irresistible puppy eyes and James couldn’t help but cave in. Those dark brown eyes of her could make him do about anything to make her happy. Though he didn’t admit this to her, he had an inkling that she already knew.

“Alright, fine.” James sighs out. “But just a few shirts and jeans. Nothing too big.”

“Oh, I promise we’ll keep the shopping to a minimum.” Jolene says with a big smile.

Behind that smile was the truth that Jolene was hiding. This shopping trip was not going to be small at all. In fact she might just go get him a James Bond tuxedo to create a dent in Tony’s credit card. Either way this shopping spree was going to take a full day and she could only hope that James would be able to keep up with her.


	13. Dressing Up

The drive was calm and quite fast through DC. James took notice that Jolene knew all of the shortcuts and managed to avoid all traffic. It was obvious she’s been around the city before and knew her way around yet that didn’t stop her from complaining about everyone else around her. Once they reached the highway did things change. He couldn’t help but laugh as she cursed everyone else in her way.

“Where are we going exactly?” James asks noticing the distance they were going to reach the nearby mall.

“I know a good store just a few miles away.” Jolene answers.

“I thought we were going to the mall.” James asks sitting up on his seat.

“Yeah well… I’ll like to hit these places up before heading to the mall.” Jolene replies. James felt like she was hiding something from him but the smile she sent his way diffused those thoughts from his head.

After a few minutes of driving did Jolene finally turn to a very white and clean street. People walked with small dogs and countless bags under their arms. All of them were women and had an air of power and elegance about them. James was getting an uneasy feeling as he saw the stores around them and when he turned to ask Jolene about them, he noticed her stepping out of the car. She was handing her keys to a suited man and just smiled at him before turning to him.

“Come on, James. We’ve got some shopping to do.”

James was speechless as he got out of the car. He didn’t want to point it out to her but he felt like they were both very underdressed to be in this part of town.

“Jo…” James manages to stammer out as he uneasily looked around.

“I know what you’re thinking but the mall will be busy at this time,” Jolene was telling him. “These stores are a bit more low key from other people and have some nicer things.”

“I can see that,” James exclaims. “But we… this is…”

“Expensive? High class? Out of our comfort zone?” Jolene offers up. James just nods at her agreeing to all of the things she said. Jolene just smiled and grabbed his arm starting to walk down the sidewalk. “Oh James… you have no idea.”

Jolene leads them into one store in which James immediately moves to push down his cap down. Jolene quickly snatches the cap out of his head and hides it away from him. James just sighs as he looks up and finds the attendees looking at both of them apprehensively. One of them is forced to come up to them with a tight smile on her face.

“Hi, how may I help you two today?”

“Umm, well my friend Pepper Potts recommended this store to me,” Jolene says causing the attendant to straighten up. James didn’t know who this Pepper was but it seemed to have gotten them some lenience.

“Ms. Potts is one of our most renown customers, her and Mr. Stark both.” The attendant rambles off.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Jolene responds politely. “Pepper does most of the shopping for us. I know for sure that I have no style sense. Far less when it comes to men fashion.”

“So you’re not shopping for yourself today?” she asks Jolene.

“No, just for my friend here.” Jolene responds quickly causing James to look up startled up at her. “He needs all the fashion help he can get.”

The attendant just smiled up at him and started to lead them through the store. Jolene started to follow after her but James grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him.

“What are you doing?” he asked her. “I can’t afford this!”

“Like I said, we’re using Tony’s money.” Jolene answers back.

“I don’t want whatever this is, Jo. I just wanted a new pair of jeans, maybe a few more shirts…”

“And I want you to have a suit, a tuxedo, and dress shirts and pants and more expensive clothing.” Jolene responds with a grin. “Now come on tiger, we’ve got someone waiting for us.”

Jolene started walking again and left James behind as she walked through a seating area and to the men section of the store. James sighed and after debating to run away from this catastrophe of this shopping outing, he found himself following after Jolene.

“We have an array of different menswear. We have a new collection delivered to us monthly. We have an arrangement of different designers and different styles.” The attendant was explaining to them. James didn’t understand anything she was saying but Jolene seemed to get it.

“I’m sure James would probably just wants to settle with the usual classic style. Maybe we can start of with the same suits that Pepper orders for Tony?”

“Ms. Potts usually orders the Zegna design when there’s a red carpet event. As for regular outings, such as office meetings and televised presentations, Mr. Stark tends to wear Ralph Lauren or other common designers.”

“None of those names are familiar to me so why don’t we try them all.” Jolene states turning to James who was still trying to process the conversation. Noticing that they were both looking at him for a response he just nods in which the attendant just smiled and starts to lead them to a private dressing room with their own small runway. The sight of it all surprised James and Jolene couldn’t help but giggle at his expression.

Anne, their shop attendant, had left them so she could start to collect the pieces she knew that the couple would like. Once they were left alone, Jolene let out the loud laugh while James just glared at her.

“What have you gotten me into?” James exclaims. “What is all of this?”

Jolene hearing his tone stopped her laughing and looked at him surprised.

“I thought it would be nice to buy you a suit. A nice one at that.” Jolene responds.

“When am I ever going to wear a suit?” James argues. “We work at a bar!”

“I don’t know,” Jolene laughs out. “You can wear it when you ride your motorcycle and are on your way to your secret mission.”

With the mentioning of the word mission, James became frigid and lost all color on his face. Jolene was still laughing until her eyes landed on him again and she knew that something was wrong.

“James…”

“ _He was my mission._ ” James states mindlessly. Jolene frowned at this and took a step towards him.

“James…” she whispered. “Hey! It’s me. There’s no mission here. We’re just getting you a nice suit.”

James was lost in his own mind. Flashes of the scene in the helicarrier flooded his mind and he was losing himself deeper into this memory if it wasn’t for the sudden warmth he was feeling. He blinked a couple of times before he noticed Jolene looking up at him with her dark brown eyes. She was grasping his face and he could feel the warmth of her close body.

“James,” she called out to him again.

“I’m fine,” he whispers. “Just remembered something.”

“Something bad?” she asked him. “Do you want to get out of here?”

“It wasn’t…” James responds but shakes his head. “I do want to get out of here but for a completely different reason.”

He offered Jolene a tight smile, one that she took lightly.

“Are you sure?” she asks him worriedly.

“I’m sure,” he answers. “Besides, I would feel bad for putting Anne through so much trouble and not get anything.”

“If that’s what you really want…” Jolene says unsurely.

“I’m fine,” James responds looking down at her reassuringly. Jolene had no time to argue as Anne burst in with a rack filled with different colored and styled suits. She stuck her head out and looked at both of them excitedly.

James just stared at the rack in shock. He hadn’t expected to be forced to try on each piece on this rack but from the look of Jolene and Anne, he was going to have to. Anne handed him the first piece and sent him on his way to the private dressing room. The shop attendant then turned to Jolene as they waited for James to step out.

“So Ms… I’m sorry. I never caught a name.”

“Jolene Nix,” she states causing Anne to attempt to hide her shock but failing miserably.

“Oh my, you’re the…” Anne lets out a surprised laugh. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Nix. I’ve never thought that I would personally meet you. Everyone believes… I hope this doesn’t upset you, but some people believed you were fake.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Jolene asked genuinely interested. The woman seemed to have quickly grown comfortable around Jolene, something that seemed to come with the psychology degree.

“It’s just that you were headlined for like one day and then you were covered up.” Anne tells her. “Nothing was written about your parents or how you knew Tony Stark. We all just thought you didn’t existed.”

“I guess we should keep it that way,” Jolene sighed out. “I’m not into the paparazzi and red carpet setting. Tony must have used his genius skills and covered me up. It’s what my parents wanted, it’s what I want.”

“Oh, certainly.” Anne replies. “My lips are sealed.”

Jolene couldn’t help but chuckle at her. The silence between them didn’t last long as James stepped out of the dressing room in a classic black suit. James’ long hair covered his expression and all you could see was the dark scruff on his face. His gloved metal hand fixed the tie one last time before looking up at Jolene. She couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him.

“Wow,” she whispers walking up to him. “You look… you look great.”

“Not enough to make you speechless,” James responds with a nervous grin.

“But you were close enough,” Jolene replied as she straightened up his tie. She looked up at him and found him staring down at her with a nice smile. Anne cleared her throat and Jolene quickly stepped away from him with a slight blush growing on her cheeks.

“This seems to fit him very well,” Anne comments as she steps towards him. “Just a few alterations on the shoulders and the sleeves.”

“We’ll take this one,” Jolene states gaining her composure. “And if we can get it in a gray, maybe? Or a navy?”

“I’ll start prepping those for you,” Anne states with a nod. “You can keep on trying the rest on while I get those for you.”

Anne starts to leave the private dressing room before stopping and turning towards Jolene.

“And should I grab some dress selections for you?”

“Me? Why would I…?” Jolene begins to respond before James stepped in front of her and acknowledged Anne for the first time.

“Yes, she would enjoy that very much.” He responds. “And if you can bring out the latest collections, that would be great too.”

Jolene attempted to argue against this but James made sure that Anne escaped the room first before having Jolene blow up on him.

“Are you serious?!” she shouts pushing his chest. “This wasn’t part of the plan!”

“Oh, like dragging me into this posh shop was part of my plan?” James argues back. Jolene just huffs, unsure of how to respond. “That’s right. You dragged me into this shopping fiasco, you must have expected I would drag you down with me.”

Once again their argument was cut short as Anne brought in another rack full of gowns and dresses. Jolene sighed at the sight of it and really wanted to tell Anne to take the whole rack of clothing back. She would have honestly done it if it weren’t for the excited look that Anne had.

“I guess, I should get started on this.” Jolene sighs out.

Anne hands James the next suit before turning to Jolene and showing her to another private dressing room she could use. Anne offered Jolene assistance with the more complicated pieces of Saab’s collection. They had been so lucky to get one of his collections to her store. The eye for detail on these gowns was a whole another level.

Jolene quickly refused to try some of the more complicated dresses. They seemed to reveal more of her body than cover it. Most of the gowns were beautiful and that was the purpose of these gowns. They were more works of art than a gown. Jolene admired the work and as she tried them on, she felt unworthy to wear such a gown. She refused to step outside to show them off on the small set runway. Jolene refused to let James see her in them.

They were reaching the last few gowns on the rack. Anne informed her of which suits were fitting best on James and Jolene quickly set orders for him and none for her. Anne sighed as she tried on the last dress. Each dress that Jolene had worn was beautiful on her but she denied every compliment that Anne had given her. Anne was determined to prove Jolene that she was wrong and decided that cluing in who she believed was her boyfriend should work.

“Anne, I don’t know if this is…” Jolene says after hearing the knock on her door. She sighed as she cracked the door open to tell the attendant how ridiculous she looked in the dress but found the waiting room empty. Jolene released a pent up breath as she timidly took a step out of the room. Once again, she looked around the empty runway and seats.

Both of the racks were empty now and a stack of closed boxes was set on the nearby table. Jolene taking advantage of the unoccupied room makes her way onto the small runway and heads towards the mirrors at the back. Her hair was set into an elegant bun, thanks to Anne and her expertise. Jolene was wearing light make-up, going for the natural look, yet here she was wearing a gown suited for the royal family, something out of a fairy tale. Jolene was so invested in her own thoughts she didn’t realize when James’ dressing room door opened and that she was no longer alone.

“Wow…”

Jolene turned around surprised by James’ sudden appearance. Not only did being caught wearing this dress took her by surprise but the way James looked now. He was wearing a dark navy suit and his hair was gelled back. He looked like a real life prince perfectly dressed and suited for whoever would wear this dress after her.

“Wow back to you, soldier.” Jolene states quietly. James walked up to stand next to her. He looked at her reflection in the mirror and he just sighed.

“You look… I mean…” James stammered out. “I just…wow.”

Jolene bashfully looked away from him and shook her head at him.

“I don’t know what to say.” James states. “Beautiful isn’t enough to describe you.”

“You flatter me, really you do, but I don’t…”

“There’s the lovely couple,” Anne steps in. “Isn’t she gorgeous?”

Jolene laughed at the question and shook her head.

“Why don’t we move the attention back to James?” Jolene asks instead. “We’ll take the navy suit and a couple of the same shirts in different colors…”

“And the dress as well?” Anne asks hopefully.

“No… the dress is…”

“Is beautiful on you, more so than that.” James responds. “You have to get it.”

“It’s like super expensive,” she whispers at him.

“And isn’t that the point?” James asked her in return. “You want to put a dent on Tony’s bank account. This is the way to do it.”

Jolene sighed.

“When will I ever wear that dress?”

“When will I ever wear these suits?” James asked back.

“You two are the cutest couple I’ve ever worked with.” Anne interrupts their conversation. “Let me take a picture of both of you.”

She pulls out her phone and motions for them to get closer. Jolene sighed but Anne knew very well not to share this around. Tony would probably find a way to block her picture from going around the world. He took this _hiding Jolene from fame_ very seriously and she was glad that he did.

Jolene sighed as she stepped closer to James and smiled at Anne’s camera. James placed a hand on her waist and pulled her closer to him. She tried not to blush but it was hard not to with his proximity and all.

“So…” Anne whispers. “What will the final decision be on the dress?”

Jolene was still hesitant about it all so James answered for her.

“She’ll take it.”

 --------------

Pepper and Tony were just walking into the Stark jet. After conversing with some diplomats in Sokovia and starting another charity to fund the rebuilding of the small country, Tony and Pepper were finally making their way home. Tony made his way towards the bar and started to pour each of them a drink. Pepper was too focused on her phone to notice the drink that Tony was offering her.

“Come on, Pepper.” Tony tells her as he set the glass of scotch on the table. “Business is done, put the phone down.”

“You do notice that Jolene has been calling us our whole trip here.” Pepper states. “FRIDAY just informed on this development. It seems that you told her to deny ever call she made to us.”

“She was going to shout at me and she does that psychology thing of hers and she would have turned you against me and then I would have two angry woman shouting at me.”

“Tony…”

“What?!” Tony exclaims. “I’m telling the truth.”

“Jolene has the right to be worried. You didn’t tell her about this saving the world mission of yours. Hell, you didn’t even tell me!”

“Look, even without her talking to you Jo managed to turn you against me.”

“Tony, stop it with the jokes. This is serious!”

“Fine, fine. I’ll confess to my sins and whatnot.” Tony gives in.

“I just want you to talk to her.” Pepper tells him worriedly.

“I’m not going to relapse or anything,” Tony argues. “My PTSD was a one time thing.”

“Tony…”

“I swear my mind is alright, Pepper.” Tony exclaims.

“Ok, fine. If you say so.” Pepper says with a sight. “But you should call her.”

“Pepper, I just told you I’m fine.”

“Oh, this isn’t about your mental health or anything.” Pepper states. “This is about the half of a million dollars Jolene’s spent in two days.”

“She what?” Tony exclaims.

“And counting…” Pepper comments as she shows him the bank account they had set up for Jolene. She was quickly going through his money.

“What the hell?” Tony states looking through the online bill.

“She’s booked a room in a hotel in DC. She’s also rented a car and made multiple purchases in that one store I told her about. I actually didn’t think she was listening when I was telling her about it. You two might not share DNA but you do share the same traits of skipping shopping errands.”

“Pepper,” Tony calls out of her thoughts. “Why are most of these clothes she bought for _men_?”

Pepper just shrugged her shoulders.

“Who’s the guy?” Tony exclaims. “I swear if this is for that Danny…”

“She’s mad, Tony.” Pepper tells him. “What did you expect?”

“All of this because I wouldn’t answer a lousy phone call?”

“You almost died the last time you faced some _great evil_ and you didn’t even bother calling her until I forced you to!” Pepper responds. “You’re all she has, Tony. You can’t blame her for being this way.”

Tony sighs as he hears this. He was being inconsiderate and he had been avoiding her overall. He just wasn’t used to all this care, something that Jo had pointed out in their sessions, the lack of love in his childhood development. Tony took a deep breath and downed his drink quickly.

“Fine,” he states causing Pepper to look up at him in surprise.

“You’ll finally call her?” she asks him.

“I’ll do you one better than a phone call,” Tony tells her. “I’ll go visit her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dress: http://media4.popsugar-assets.com/files/2014/01/22/697/n/1668379/11d3bcf1981fef90_Elie_Saab_HC_RS14_5600.jpg.xxxlarge/i/Elie-Saab-Haute-Couture-Spring-2014.jpg
> 
> I know it's been a while since I've updated. I hate writer's block and I hate it even more when I know what I want the chapter to be about but not how to convey it.
> 
> Anyways... dun dun dunnn, Tony said he's coming to visit and just when Jo and James were getting close. If you think that's all there is in the coming chapters, you're wrong. So much fluff and drama is coming. You've been warned.


	14. Can You Keep Up?

This was the third time he disappeared on her during the week. She would finish her session at the V.A. and then make her way to their hotel room only to find him gone. It worried her every time to find the room empty but shortly after James would appear, sweaty and tired, with the same response that he had gone out for a run. Jolene should have just accepted the answer but something in her mind made her think that James was hiding something from her. He was actually hiding a lot from her but she didn’t question it, except for now.

“So…you’ve been running a lot.” Jolene states as she cleaned up their late breakfast. “It’s making me feel bad about myself, like I should be hitting the gym too.”

James froze at this but quickly relaxed his body. He looked back at Jolene afraid that she might have noticed his mood shift but luckily her back was towards him and her attention was towards emptying the to-go boxes.

“I just run around town,” James tells her. “It isn’t much.”

“Maybe I’ll join you tomorrow.” Jolene says turning to face him. “Sam’s supposed to be back by tonight. I think he can pick up his sessions again and I should be free. So what do you say?”

James didn’t know how to respond. Yes, he had been running but not in the way she thought he was. He had been running to and from the Smithsonian, trying to fill in the blanks in his memory. So yes, he had been running but not around town. James didn’t know how to respond and Jolene seemed to notice his hesitance.

“You know what, it’s ok…” Jolene says trying to withdraw her offer. “I have work to do so…”

“No, I mean yeah,” James interrupts her as he stumbles in his words. “You can join me in my run. It’s just… it’s just I don’t have a set path. I just go anywhere and then I retrace my steps so I hope that’s not a problem.”

“Not at all,” Jolene says smiling at him in relief. “Actually I know a place we can run at. Sam and I go there when I’m in town. We take a lap around the Washington Memorial and there’s a park nearby where we can take a cool down lap.”

“I… uh… that seems like a very open and public space.” James states. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

“Oh um, well we can always just…” Jolene trails of, her excitement easily diminishing. “We could just find some other place then.”

James hated himself for Jolene’s loss in excitement and quickly found himself fixing the situation by putting himself on the line.

“Actually, we can go if you want.” James tells her. “If you think I’m ready.”

“Of course I think you’re ready,” Jolene says smiling that great smile of hers. “You’re talking and laughing and actually seem to be doing fine with crowds and sudden noises. I think you’re more than ready.”

“Thanks,” James sighs out unsure if he believed it or not.

“Ok, then it’s set,” Jolene says happily. “I’ll be back later.”

Jolene grabbed her things and waved him goodbye before leaving to the V.A. James felt himself tense up once he was alone in the room. He was running a risk being noticed in doing this and more so being that he had lied to her.

James remembers what happened in D.C. a couple of months ago. This was the place where the helicarriers crashed and he had saved his long time best friend, Steve Rogers, though James hadn’t known that at that time since it was the Winter Soldier in control. Either way, the risk of this exposure could reveal his past Hydra affiliations and will cause him to be hunt down from multiple countries governments, Shield, and most importantly Hydra. He was risking all of this just to see that smile return to Jolene’s face and for James it was worth it.

James trusted Jolene, even the Winter Soldier trusted Jolene, but he couldn’t find it within himself to tell her who he was before. He didn’t know how she would react to his past. James was from the 1940’s and she was from the modern day world. James was an assassin, a kidnapper, a torturer, a spy, and more for most of his 70 years of being Hydra’s asset while Jolene was a warm psychologist/ bartender in her past twenty-something life. James had almost killed Steve Rogers and other innocents. James used to be a good person and then he became a monster. He would lose everything if Jolene ever caught word of this.

James didn’t care if he lost his job or home or security. Those things could be replaced but a woman like Jolene. A woman who could make him laugh and who could fight and wouldn’t question his inability with modern technology or his unknowing of pop culture from the last century. A woman who was patient and kind and broken but still caring. Jolene was not perfect, she’s had her fair of sorrows and pains in the world but that only served to make her even stronger, and that made her perfect for him. There was no other woman like Jolene, and if James lost her, he knew there would be no replacement.

 ---------------

The sun was just rising as they reached the Washington Monument. There was a silence that not even the morning breeze seemed to be able to disrupt. Jolene and James took a few minutes to admire the view and the perfect quiet. The different color hues from the sunrise showed on the reflection pool magnifying the beauty of this place. James had never seen something so peaceful in a long time. Jolene was right in bringing him here.

“Ok so I thought that we should just run alongside the pool, around the Washington Monument, then pass over the Lincoln Monument, and then we should end up back here.”

“How far is that?” James asks beginning to stretch.

“About 2-3 miles, give or take.” Jolene answers as she stretched her arms over her head. “We can take more than one lap. That’s if you can keep up with me.”

James chuckled at that as he cracked his back.

“Whatever you say, doll.”

“I’m being serious,” Jolene says before taking off on a nice jog, leaving James behind. “You’ve got to keep up.”

“I think it’s the other way around, sweetheart.” James says jogging at a much faster pace and passing her easily. “Keep up, doll.”

“You little…” Jolene exclaimed but it was useless. James was too ahead of her to be able to hear her and she soon grew to regret her snarky mouth. James quickly disappeared from her own view and Jolene couldn’t help but smile. She slowed down her pace and just took her time to make her way around the pool. In a matter of minutes, Jolene heard the heavy footsteps of James and she glanced to the side and found him just about to reach her.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Jolene shouts as she starts sprinting. James just laughed as he passed her and quickly got ahead of her. Jolene didn’t give up though. She continued to sprint after James and managed to get close enough to jump onto his back. He quickly caught her and laughed at her stunt.

“Never knew you were a little spider monkey.” James comments as he continues to jog but not at the pace he had before. Jolene couldn’t help but laugh at his reference.

“I didn’t know you were some kind of alien who could run 3 miles in like 10 seconds.” Jolene tells him. “So what planet are you from? Mars? Venus?”

“Jupiter, actually.” James says slowing down to a light walk. “So should I keep going or am I done being your loyal carrier, my queen?”

“You may put me down, good sir.” Jolene says with a grin. James stops walking and allows Jolene to climb down his back. She couldn’t help but shiver as she felt the dampness of her tank top. “Oh that is so gross.”

“What?” James asks confused as he turns to look at her. Jolene couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as she looked down at her shirt.

“You have a very sweaty back, James.” Jolene laughed out. “Maybe you are human after all.”

“What else would I be?” James chuckles out.

“I thought we settled this before,” Jolene states. “You’re either an alien or part cyborg.”

“Right, how could I forget?” James replies sarcastically as he waves his metal hand to her. Jolene couldn’t help but laugh as they walked side by side.

“Ok, so clearly you have the advantage of being _way_ faster than me.” Jolene states. “Foolish of me to even think I could keep up.”

“I was being mean,” James states. “I should have waited for you.”

“Oh you were being cruel.” Jolene jokes. “Leaving a poor defenseless woman running on her own.”

“You’re anything but poor and defenseless.” James says narrowing his eyes at her.

“I guess you’re right,” Jolene says with a shrug. “I’m always _so_ close to kicking your ass.”

“Oh really?” James asks amused at her confidence.

“Really,” Jolene confirms before taking up her light jog again before sprinting away from him. Her lead didn’t last very long as James quickly caught up to her and kept her pace. They finished Jolene’s lap, James not breaking a sweat while Jolene was giving it her all. She quickly threw herself on the soft grass after finishing her lap while James just laughed at her sprawled out state.

“Do you always drop dead after every session?” James asks her.

“It’s my favorite part of every run,” Jolene gasps out as she covered her eyes from the rising sun. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths in order to keep her lungs from exploding.

“I’m gonna go get you some water,” James says getting a grunt as Jolene’s response. He couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head at her before walking towards the small vendor parked down the park.

Jolene didn’t really register when he left. She was too tired to be aware of her surroundings. Once she was able to get her heartbeat on track did she slowly recognize the chuckles above her. She opened her eyes, blinking a couple of times to get used to the lighting, before taking notice of Steve and Sam snickering above her. Jolene gave them a glare but the growing blush on her cheeks threw it off.

“How long have you been standing over me?” Jolene asks a bit annoyed and embarrassed.

“Enough to know that you weren’t fully dead.” Sam snickers.

“You’re such a jerk,” Jolene mutters.

“Here, let me help you up,” Steve says trying to suppress his amused smile by offering his hand to her.

“Come on, Captain.” Jolene says pushing his hand away and getting up on her own. “I expected this behavior from Sam but you’re the golden boy of America. I expected more from you.”

“Sorry ma’am.”

“Now you’re insulting me,” Jolene jokes. “Ma’am? Really? Do I look that old to you?”

“I’m just making things worse,” Steve states sheepishly while Sam just blatantly laughs.

“I’m just pulling your leg, Steve.” Jolene says cutting him some slack. “Sam on the other hand…”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m in the dog house,” Sam says pulling her into a hug.

“It’s nice to see you, safe and sound.” Jolene says embracing him back.

“So I’m forgiven?” Sam asks hopefully.

“Nowhere near.” Jolene says narrowing her eyes at him. “You owe me… _big time._ ”

“How about I don’t you anything?” Sam asks her. “I’ve been getting very annoying and pesky calls from Stark asking for you.”

“Yeah, I’ve been getting those too.” Steve pipes in.

Jolene sighs as she hears this.

“What’s going on?” Sam asks her. “Is there an emergency…?”

“No, not at all.” Jolene answers a bit embarrassed. “It’s just um… well, you both know how the only reason I’m in D.C. is because Tony and Pepper didn’t answer their phones, and so I thought it would be a really good idea to give them a taste of their own medicine.”

Steve and Sam narrowed their eyes at her suspecting that she was still holding something back from them.

“What else happened?” Steve voices out. Jolene sighs and scrunches up her nose at the question.

“I might have also wasted half a million dollars in a single shopping spree.” Jolene quickly tells them. “And counting…”

“Jolene Erin Nix,” Sam exclaims at her. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I’m being completely honest,” Jolene says. “Scout’s honor.”

“You… you….” Sam stutters out but Jolene couldn’t help but laugh alongside Steve. “Guys, this is serious.”

“I’m sorry but you know Tony’s not gonna miss the money.” Steve points out. “Besides, I think he’ll understand.”

“And it’s for a good cause.” Jolene argues for herself. “I had to buy James some nice suits.”

“Ok, that’s not... you shouldn’t be…” Sam starts off trying to tell Jolene the recklessness of her actions. Jolene didn’t give him the chance, knowing full well what he was going to tell her and interrupted him with a quick goodbye.

“I’ve got to go,” Jolene tells them. “James is around here somewhere and I’ve seem to lost track of time.”

“See you around, Jo.” Steve says waving at her while Sam was still trying to process what happened in the last minute.

“That girl is going to be the death of me,” Sam tells Steve as he watched Jolene go.

“Yeah, I think she’ll be the death for most of us,” Steve states with a smile. “First Tony, then you…”

“Just you wait,” Sam comments. “You’re going to be next.”  

“Nah, I don’t think so,” Steve says with a shake of his head as he watched Jolene enthusiastically talk to the cap wearing man who started to walk beside. “I think she has another person in mind.”


	15. Cutting it Close

Jolene and James were both in the bathroom having a stare down that seemed to have started all of a sudden. Jolene was standing by the sink with a pair of scissors and a comb in her hand. James was sitting on the edge of the bathtub glaring at her, preventing her from taking a step forward. She had asked, more like demanded, that James should get his hair cut. James didn’t really like the idea and ignored Jolene’s reasoning of dead ends and other nonsense. So here they were, standing on opposing sides of the bathroom, Jolene blocking the exit and James trying to get out of the bathroom with his hair intact.

“The least you can do is shave that scruff around your face,” Jolene sighs out, putting the scissors down.

“What?” James asks. “I like the scruff. Makes for a good future beard.”

“If you grow out a beard, you’ll complete your whole lumberjack look you’ve been sporting lately.” Jolene tells him. “All you would need is an ax and some forest to cut down trees from.”

James scowled as he heard that and made his way to the mirror above the sink. He looked at his face and his long hair. Yes the shadow on his face was growing quite nicely but Jolene was right. If he kept this up, he’ll look like a man living in a cabin deep in the woods. Not that it was a bad thing, but not something he was into.

“It’s either the long hair or the future beard.” Jolene tells him.

“Future beard,” James states quickly. Jolene couldn’t help but chuckle at that as she put away the scissors and comb, and brought out some shaving cream and razors. “Why do you…?”

“I figured you would pick that,” Jolene told him. “I bought this stuff this morning while you disappeared again. I thought it might come in handy.”

James was about to ask more about this but Jolene’s phone goes off in their bedroom and she leaves the bathroom to go get it. James put his hair up and stripped off his shirt before placing the shaving cream around his face. While he did this, he could overhear snippets of Jolene’s conversation that seemed to not be a good one.

“I know what I told you,” Jolene tells whoever was on the phone with her. She sounded stressed and this made James concerned for her. “I just… you don’t understand ok? It’s harder than you think and I… ok, I’ll see you soon.”

“Is something wrong?” James asks as he walks out of the bathroom and found Jolene slipping on her shoes. He cleared his throat and quickly gained her attention. Jolene instantly blushed as she saw him. He had the razor in his hand and she could see the muscle of his arms and the abs that led down his very snug jeans. She immediately turned away and tied up the laces on her boots.

“I…uh… Sam wants to catch up with me,” Jolene answers grabbing her things and looking everywhere but him. “I’ll be back…soon, hopefully.”

“Ok,” James says not being able to suppress the grin on his face due to Jolene’s flustered state.

“Get that smile of your face, Jamie.” Jolene exclaims before slamming the door closed. James’ couldn’t help but chuckle at that before entering the bathroom and finishing what he started.

 --------------

Jolene found Sam sitting on a bench with sunglasses on and a pretzel in his hand. One would think this was a friendly outing but it wasn’t. It was the exact opposite. Sam was here to set Jolene’s head straight and she knew that. She knew that from the second he called her. Steve must have told him what they both talked about and of course Sam was going to overreact. So here she was ready to be scolded like a young child.

“Are you crazy?!” is the first thing Sam exclaims as she sits beside him. “You know better than to start something with this James. It’s against everything I told you not to do and it’s wrong and you’re compromising a man who doesn’t…”

“He’s capable of making his own decisions.” Jolene interrupts him. “He’s been doing so well and I think he’s ready.”

“How would you know?” Sam asks her. “You’ve gotten attached to this guy, Jo. How are you capable to analyze him if you have biased feelings for him?”

“I…”

“You’re threading on dangerous ground. You know that, Jo.” Sam states. “This man stayed and you helped him and that’s good, but that’s all it should be. He’s your patient.”

“No, he’s not.” Jolene corrects him. “James’ a friend. He stopped being a patient a long time ago.”

Sam sighed as he heard this.

“I’m going to kill Steve,” Sam muttered. “Putting ideas in your head…”

“So what I like this guy?” Jolene exclaims. “I like someone! Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been romantically interested in someone?”

“I don’t…”

“Exactly,” Jolene continues. “It’s been a while and James makes me happy and he’s here. He’s always here, unlike you, unlike Tony, unlike all of you and your superhero gang, ok? He’s actually here.”

“Jo…” Sam sighs out. “If you go down this path, you’re anchoring him to just one person, one life, one city. You know he deserves more than that.”

“I’m not… I wouldn’t…” Jolene stammers out.

“You’re the only person he’s relied on,” Sam tells her. “He deserves the chance to meet more people. You can’t just cradle him around.”

Jolene became silent as she heard this.

“Give him the option,” Sam tells her. “Tell him, he’s ready, and his life is his own. Let him decide what to do with his life before you approach him with this matter.”

“I hate you, did you know that?” Jolene muttered under her breath.

“Yeah, I know.” Sam answers. “But I have to be the villain so you won’t be.”

Jolene sighed at this as she ran a hand through her hair. She knew Sam was right, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she knew. It took everything within her to not cry in public and luckily she was able to suppress her feelings as she gave Sam a small smile.

“So… what was that thing you wanted to show me?” she asked him changing the subject.

“Right this way,” Sam says standing up and motioning down the sidewalk, quickly wanting to reduce the tension that was between them. “I can’t believe you haven’t visited the Smithsonian yet.”

“I mean… I know Steve so it just seems weird going to an exhibit all about him.” Jolene says as they walk up the stairs and enter the museum. “Like… do I really need to know this much about him? I could just ask him myself.”

“You don’t want to do that,” Sam states. “I did once. It was a bad experience. They guy won’t stop talking once you start.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jolene replies as she grabs one of the pamphlets that a tour guide was offering. She didn’t really look through it and instead just entered the big and very popular Captain America exhibition with Sam by her side.

“Do you think in the future that there’ll be an exhibition about the Avengers and you, someday?” Jolene asks Sam as they walked through holograms and posters of Steve, pre and post-serum. “I think it’ll happen. I think…”

“I’m sorry,” Sam apologizes as his phone rings and cuts Jolene off. Taking one look at the caller id, he pauses, and seems to tense as well. “I’ve got to take this.”

Jolene just nods and allows Sam to take the call. They were in the middle of the hallway but the crowd moved around them.

“He’s here, as in D.C here?” Sam asks surprised. “Are you sure? Why would he…”

Jolene narrowed her eyes at him as he said this.

“Tony’s face scan actually worked, huh?” Sam mutters. “Ok then, I’ll start searching.”

“What was that about?” Jolene asks Sam once he hung up.

“That was Natasha,” he answers. “We’ve been using face scanning on all the cameras we could get access on to locate Barnes. It seems we finally got a hit… here.”

“As in… The Winter Soldier is in D.C.?” Jolene asks him concerned. “Should I be…?”

“No, no, no…” Sam says trying to keep the matter calm. “He’s Bucky, or I hope he is. The thing is, I need to go find him right now before he disappears again. I hope it’s ok…”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Jolene cuts him off nodding.

“I know we were supposed to spend the afternoon together…”

“It’s ok,” Jolene says waving him off. “You have a world to save. I can see the rest of this exhibit by myself. Maybe catch a glimpse on how this Winter Soldier looks like and maybe lend a hand if I see him in some dark corner or alley or something.”

“Sure,” Sam says with a roll of his eyes. “I’ll catch you later and sorry again.”

Jolene just waved to him goodbye before she continued walking through the exhibit. She saw videos of Steve during the World War and saw an interview with Peggy Carter. Children ran excitedly around her and Jolene was seriously contemplation buying a Captain America souvenir shirt just to bother Tony. Jolene was walking through the exhibit pretty quickly that she had almost missed it. Almost missed a face from the past, a ghost… this man in front of her should be dead.

People pushed past Jolene in the narrow halls of the exhibit. They had no idea as to why she stood planted in one spot looking at the face in front of her dumbfounded, unsure of what to think. Somehow, Jolene managed to stumble back into a nearby bench and just stare at the face of Bucky Barnes, a famous war hero of World War II. She stared, her heartbeat fast and mind swirling with confusion, so lost in her own lost state that she didn’t notice the old woman sitting beside her.

“He was a handsome one, wasn’t he?” the old lady asks her as she noticed Jolene’s unwavering stare of the hologram depiction. Jolene turned to her with more confusion.

“I’m sorry… what?” Jolene asked her, still trying to wrap her mind around the face she was seeing in front of her. She shook her head out of the shocked daze and nodded numbly. “I mean.. I guess, yeah.” Jolene stumbles out a response still trying to wrap her mind around the simple truth that had been in front of her face for so long.

“Would you like to know more about him?” the old woman asked beside her. “Something these history books or documentaries don’t know?”

Jolene turned to the old woman curiously and nodded.

“Bucky was 16 when his parents died. Being the eldest, he took care of his sisters, he started to work at a mechanics shop when he was very young. Paid the rent and bought us food. Then his sisters got older, started to work, and he would visit them whenever he could.”

The old woman smiled as she remembers memories so long forgotten. Jolene was still in shock as much as she didn’t want to be. Everything that she knew just came shattering down. The man that was sleeping beside her in a shared bed was a man that had killed under the name of Hydra. He was a man that was best friends with Steve Rogers during the 1940’s. He was a man out of his time, out of his mind, controlled and lost. He was a man she was falling for and she didn’t know what to do in this moment.

“Are you ok, dear?” the old woman asks her concerned. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I think I have…” Jolene whispers. “I just… it’s impossible isn’t it? People can’t just come back from the dead. People can’t… I mean…”

“I know the feeling,” the old woman answers. “When they found Steve… I mean Captain America, it was like seeing a ghost. Gave me hope for awhile but…”

“I don’t know what to do.” Jolene finds herself telling her. She immediately turned to her with apologies on her mouth as she realized how insane she sounded. “I’m sorry… I just… I don’t know how to handle this somewhat unlikely miracle or twist of fate that my life has just endured. I can’t...”

Jolene didn’t know how to tell her without telling her that she just found out that James, the James she has been housing and helping and falling for, was James Buchanan Barnes, that he was the famous _Bucky Barnes._ Luckily, Jolene was stopped from confessing everything to this old woman beside her as a brown haired girl in pigtails ran through the crowds and jumped into the old woman’s arms.

“Grandma, we’ve been looking everywhere for you.” The little girl tells the old woman.

“Well, sweetie I just wanted to check in on someone.” The old woman responds looking up at the hologram of Bucky. She then turned to Jolene with a warm smile. “Whatever you’re going through, I know it’s hard, and we live in a world were a lot of miracles are happening. Don’t be afraid of them.”

“Thank you,” Jolene says finding the weight on her shoulders lifting. She raised her hand to her as she introduced herself. “I’m Jolene Nix, thanks for listening to me.”

“Clarice Matthews and this is my granddaughter Alexis.” Clarice says introducing herself to Jolene as she shook her hand.

“So the things you said about Ja… I mean Bucky, how did you know him that well?” Jolene asks her curiously.

“He was my uncle, dear.” Clarice answered.

That certainly made Jolene become shocked again.   
“I hope you solve your problem, Jolene.” Clarice says grabbing the hand from the little girl and walking away.

Jolene couldn’t breathe. Everything was just coming down on her today. She thought that Sam’s warning was going to be the dark cloud over her head today but it seemed she was carrying a thunderstorm. Her emotions for James… _Bucky_ were compromised with this truth she came across. Bucky obviously didn’t remember any of this. If she brought it up, it could trigger him into the Winter Soldier. She remembered that happening when she asked him about his family and here was this woman who was related to him. How was she supposed to handle this? She could call Sam…

Sam.

Sam knew that Bucky was here in D.C.

There was only one thing she could do and she knew it wasn’t the right thing. If Sam and Steve found him now, who knows what would happen. She might lose the progress that he’s had these past couple of months. She might lose him forever and the Winter Soldier will take place and they would all be screwed. There was only one thing she could do, and she was compromising herself in doing so.

 --------------

“How do I look doll?” James asks as Jolene burst into their bedroom. He gave her a cheeky grin as he showed off his neat looking jaw. Jolene didn’t pay him any attention as she stormed around the room stuffing her clothes into her suitcase. James became concerned. She was only like this when she saw her friends in danger on TV. This was how she became when her emotions were all over the place. “What’s going on, Jo?”

“We have to go,” is all she said, sounding calmer than before.

“Jo, what’s really going on? What’s got you upset this time?” James asked her.

“Bu… James, we just have to go, ok?” Jolene tells him.

James grabbed her as she spun around to grab more clothes. He looked deeply into her eyes finding fear and concern deeply rooted in her pupils.

“Tell me what you’re so afraid of.”

Jolene looked at him with fear. She didn’t know what she was doing. They didn’t teach you how to handle super soldiers from the 1940’s in Princeton. How was she supposed to answer his question without giving anything away?

“I’m just getting tired of this place and people telling me what to do,” Jolene half-lied. “I want to go back to my apartment and just… think about things.”

James searched her face, felt her heartbeat through his metal hand, and he knew she was lying. Yet the urgency of her request to leave was true. She really did want to leave this place and he was worried that she was catching on, that she knew who he was. He was worried that she was afraid of him but if that was the case she wouldn’t be taking him with her.

“James,” Jolene called out to him, breaking him from his gaze. He slowly let her go and she continued with her packing. He followed her example, much more slowly, as he packed his own things. There was no way Jolene could know, he told himself again. She wouldn’t be here if she knew.


	16. Small Pleasures

They had gotten to Jolene’s apartment in a matter of hours and were both unpacking their things in silence. Jolene had left to go to her own room and locked herself in it. James was left to unpack his own things by the spare closet down the hall, concerned for Jolene’s sudden shift in emotions. It was clear to him that whenever she didn’t know what to do she ran. It was also clear that when she had emotional outburst like these, which were usually fear or sadness, she would run away from him. He knew that he had no other choice but to wait her out but something about this time made him worried for her.

 _“Hey Jo,”_ James says knocking on her bedroom door.

Jolene was sitting on her bed, her bag half-unpacked, as she looked at the Captain America Exhibit brochure in her hand. There was one fold dedicated to Bucky and she couldn’t stop herself from staring at it. Her mind was blank, her emotions all over the place, and she had no idea what to do with the man outside her door.

 _“Whenever you feel like coming out and talking, I’ll be here.”_ James states. _“Oh and Danny just called. He said the bar should be ready in a few days and that Delilah and Piper want to talk to you about having a party for it. So just… give them a call, would ya doll?”_

Jolene couldn’t respond. As much as she tried to convince herself that her James wasn’t _the_ James Buchanan Barnes, he would say things, sounding like the Bucky in the interview videos, saying things like doll or dame. She knew that he was Bucky but she couldn’t bring herself into telling him that… or telling Steve for that matter. She was afraid of what would happen to him if she did this, of the triggers or backlash he could endure especially if he didn’t remember anything.

Jolene had no idea how to handle this or what to do. Any form of action could cause him to go into Winter Soldier mode and as she remembered that mode, it was frightening to her and everyone around her if that part of James was unleashed. It was now, that she was sitting alone in her room, thinking about James, that it became known to her that she really didn’t know anything about him and still she fell for him. Now here she was, knowing his true identity and her heart had no idea what to do.

Jolene pulled out her laptop and started her research. The museum had given her information on Bucky Barnes but she still had no idea of who the Winter Soldier was. She remembered Tony telling her that all of SHIELD files that had been leaked. Though all of them were encrypted, it had been a year since then so surely there must be something readable now. She started looking through the SHIELD files before being directed to a few rare Hydra ones. Jolene finally found something hidden in the darkest corners of the web but stopped when she wasn’t sure if she wanted to read this herself.

It was unknown territory and it wasn’t her business to find out James’ secrets without him knowing. But due to her curiosity and being unaware of what she got herself into, Jolene knew she had to.

All of the documents were in Russian and Jolene was intelligent to a certain degree. She didn’t know Russian so she ignored the documents and found some video diary clips. There were no descriptions and if they were, she assumed they would be in Russian, so she ignored any instincts of hers that was telling her to stop and pushed play.

Jolene had the right mind to put her computer on mute when the video diaries turned out to be torturing videos to the Winter Soldier himself. It was a compilation of him being put under cryo when he desperately cried out he didn’t want to and when he was taken out of it, James would have to dragged out by guards. He looked so helpless and Jolene couldn’t help but feel a tightening in her chest when she saw him being mercilessly dragged out of the cryo chamber.

Another video was of him being shocked into having a clean slate mind. He would say something that he remembered, dazed in confusion, and they would just shock him into unknowingness. They returned him to the mentality of the Winter Soldier and whatever small detail he remembered was torn away from him.

Only a few videos were of his trainings and even then he took brutal beatings from his captors. She desperately didn’t want to watch the last video, which seemed to be very old but she forced herself to do it. It was in black and white and James was… Bucky. He had short hair and looked sane except he wasn’t.

He was screaming. He was fighting and crying as he looked down at his left arm in horror. Doctors swarmed around him, unsure of how to handle him. His metal arm reached up to his shoulder and he was using this new advancement to his body to avenge himself against his captors. Doctors were thrown around and he killed a few before someone shouted out in German and James was shocked with small metal templates nearby. His body fell back onto the table as his eyes searched around him for help. The video then cuts to a finish with Russian writing appearing at the end marking the date and time of this video.

Jolene was so horrified by what she had seen in the past few hours that the sudden knock on her door frightened her half to death. She quickly started to delete her search history and closing out all of the websites she had opened up in her search.

 _“Jo?”_ James asked concerned from the hallways. _“Are you ok? I can hear you crying from downstairs.”_

“I’m fine,” Jolene cries out as she closes her laptop and throws it deeper into her bed. She wipes the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. She hadn’t realized when she started crying but it must have been a while if James was able to hear her.

 _“I don’t believe you.”_ James responds as he leaned his forehead on her door. _“Jo, doll… what happened in DC? What’s got you like this?”_

Jolene couldn’t think of a lie as she thought to all the videos she’s seen. She clamped a hand on her mouth to stop herself from sobbing again. She found herself slipping from her seat on the bed onto the floor. Jolene was over her head on this and she was afraid and sad and upset over everything. James should have never endured any of those things. He didn’t deserve what happened to him.

 _“Jo… What’s going on?”_ James asks worried. _“Don’t hide from me please. Just…”_

Jolene unlocked her door and swung it open to find James right outside her door. Just catching sight of his dark brown eyes that were filled with fear and concern sent Jolene over the edge. She threw herself onto James and held him close.

“I’m so sorry,” Jolene whispers to him. “I’m so sorry… so sorry.”

James wrapped his arm around her, concerned to what had her this way. He could feel her tears soaking through his t-shirt but didn’t care. She needed him right now and he was going to be there for her.

“Why are you apologizing to me doll?” James asks her. “What do you have to be sorry about?”

“I’m so sorry,” she continues to whisper at him. “I’m just so sorry.”

“Tell me what’s got you like this, Jo.” James pleads to her. “Tell me what happened.”

“I’m so sorry, James.” She continues to tell him, clutching tighter to his shirt. “I’m just so sorry.”

There was no way James was going to get anything out of her. So he just resorted in holding her closer and allowing Jolene to apologize to him for something she had no control over. Jolene tucked her head into his chest and could hear his heart beating rapidly. James rested his chin on the top of her head and kissed the top of it as he gently brushed her hair in order to calm her.

“You deserve so much more than this,” Jolene cries out. “I’m just so sorry, James. I’m so…”

“Deserve more than this?” James asks her, pulling himself away. Jolene looked up at him tearfully while he frowned down at her. “I don’t deserve anything.”

“I think you do.” Jolene argues with him.

James chuckled sadly at this.

“Is this what this is all about?” James asks her. “Are you upset that I deserve more?”

“God, you don’t even know!” Jolene shouts at him upset. “James you literally…”

“No! No!” James shouts. “You don’t know. I… I’m selfish, Jo. I’ve been taking everything you’ve given me. I took your bar and destroyed it. I took your home and made it mine. I let you buy me things I don’t deserve and hell, can’t afford. I let you take me around places I have no right being. Everything you’ve given me, I know full well that I don’t deserve it and even though I know this I can’t help but want more. I just want more but I can’t have what I want. I can’t…”

“Tell me what you want and I’ll get it for you,” Jolene tells him, desperately trying to make it up to him after all those years of torture he had to endure. James looks away from her but she places her hand on his cheek and forces his eyes back on her. “Tell me, James.”

He could never lie to her and even though he should use those years of espionage training from Hydra to hide what he was feeling, he couldn’t. Not when Jolene was looking up at him with tearful eyes that were so filled with care and dreams and hope.

“I want you,” he whispers, his right hand caressing her cheek, thumb grazing her lips. “I just want you.”

Jolene couldn’t help but gasp as she saw James leaning in. Her body was in shock, unsure of how to react to his words. She remained frozen as James leaned down and pressed her forehead against hers. His eyes were close and he was breathing so heavily that she could feel the warm air on her face. Her own eyes fluttered closed at all of the sensations she was feeling. Her hands fell onto his chest while his right hand still rested on her cheek while his left was on her neck.

“I can’t have you, though.” James whispers. “I don’t deserve you. Not yet.”

“James…” Jolene whispers unsure of what she was trying to say.

“Just let me have this moment,” he tells her. “Just let me…”

James just sighed as he felt her so closely like this. He desperately wanted to taste her lips but knew that was too much to ask for. For now, he was happy with her being this close to him without her running away from him. This was pleasant enough.

A beeping noise interrupts their gentle moment and Jolene turns away from him as she notices it’s her phone that was getting a call. She looks back at James, unsure of what to say at the moment, but he had already stepped away from her and was making his way down the hall. Jolene didn’t know what to do after whatever transpired between James her. Frankly, she didn’t know how she felt about her crying meltdown but it was clear to her that her emotions were all over the place and it didn’t help that her least favorite person at the moment was calling her right now.

“Tony, right now isn’t a good time.”

_“It never is for you, Jolene.”_

“Look, I called you a thousand times and you ignored me. Pepper left me a voicemail explaining why and I’m angry and upset but right now isn’t a good time, ok? I just… It’s not a good time.”

 _“Soldier problem?”_ Tony asks amused.

“What?!” Jolene exclaims surprised. Her mind jumped to James but Tony’s chuckle threw her off.

_“Jeez, did Rogers and Wilson treat you that badly in DC?”_

“I…uh… no.” Jolene answered in relief. “No, they were great. At least they answered their phones. Unlike someone I know.”

 _“I’m sorry about that, Jo.”_ Tony apologizes sincerely. _“I just… I know how you get and in order to make it up for the anxiety I caused you with not answering the phone calls or telling you I was fighting something I stupidly created…”_

“You did what now?” Jolene exclaims as she hears this new development on the Ultron situation. Tony on his end, grimaced when he realized what he let slip and immediately attempted to fix it.

_“Anyways, I’m going to come visit you so I thought…”_

“No!” Jolene shouts. “No, no, no.”

 _“Why not?”_ Tony asks confused. _“I thought you would be pleased to see me.”_

“Like I said Tony, now isn’t a great time and I just got back from DC and I’m tired.” Jolene tells him, hiding the real reason in lies and in the couch downstairs. “I promise you when things settle down, I’ll come down to New York for an overdue visit, ok?”

_“Whatever makes you happy kiddo.”_

“Thanks Tony,” Jolene whispers in relief as she dodged another bullet.

 _“You alright, Jo?”_ he asks her. _“You sound sick. Are you ok?”_

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jolene assures him as she cleared her dry throat caused by the long hours of crying.

 _“Ok, ok…”_ Tony says not believing her. _“Take care of yourself, ok? Can’t have you dying, Pepper wouldn’t let me hear the end of it if that ever happened.”_

“Don’t worry Tony,” Jolene assures him with a sigh. “I know what I’m doing.”

Jolene quickly hangs up and her phone slips from her hand and drops to her bed. She quickly rubs her face anxiously hoping that her hiding James was the best option to go. She wasn’t sure if she made this choice logically or emotionally, but she made the decision. All she could do now was handle it.

 

 


	17. Twinkling Lights

There was an awkward silence between them both as they walked down the street to the bar. James suspected that this would happen with the big confession he made. It was obvious that he had pushed Jolene away from him which might be better for them both. James knew he didn’t deserve someone like her. Not after all he’s done. 

The time spent at the bar was a vacation from his life but he knew that there will be a time he would have to leave. A time where he would hunt after Hydra or Hydra would hunt him. Either way, he didn’t want Jolene to be in the middle of it. When that time came, which he thought would be sooner rather than later, James will pack his things and forever cling to the memory of what was than what could have been. Having this memory of Jolene was enough light, enough good, to keep him sane. 

The rattling of the keys shake James out of his thoughts. Jolene unlocks the door and doesn’t look back to him as she enters. James sighs and makes his way inside. He didn’t get past the doorway as he looked at the bar in front of him. It had gone through a major change than the first time he ever seen it. 

The floor was a dark chestnut, shining due to the wax that Danny had applied on it. The crappy wallpaper had been replaced with black paint. The lights were dimmer, giving the bar a very ambiguous atmosphere. They were couches laid out in front of a big plasma tv that hanged on the wall. On the other side of the room, tables and chairs were around the dart board. A jukebox was in the corner of the room with a small open space for what James assumed to be a dance floor. The only thing that remained the same was the bar counter, lined with alcohol bottles and the security system screen propped up. 

“Wow,” Jolene whispers as she makes her way into the middle of the room. She spins around slowly, dropping her bag on the floor without a care. James couldn’t help but focus on her. After the days they’ve spent, this is the first time he’s seen her so relaxed. 

“Wow indeed.” James responds causing Jolene to turn back to him in surprise, as if she forgot he was there. 

“Umm…” she starts to say quickly looking away from his gaze and dropping it to the floor. She quickly picks up her bag and looks up at him. “Uh… Ja— Danny.” 

“Danny?” James begins to ask before he feels the hard pat on his shoulder. He glances over and finds Danny walking in with a big smile. 

“Jo and Jamie,” he says quite loudly. “It’s been a while you two.” 

“Had to get away you know,” Jolene answers with a sigh, her stare falling on James before looking away once more. 

“So what do you think?” Danny asks motioning to the bar. 

“It looks great!” Jolene exclaims happily. “More than great. Better than I had imagined.” 

“Good,” Danny comments. “This might be my best work yet and with the time given.” 

“Yeah, you did great.” James states walking around. 

“Wait till you see your room.” 

“What did you to his room?” Jolene asks concerned. 

“Just some minor things, a new paint job, fixed the window that wouldn’t open, and…” 

Danny didn’t get to finish as James quickly runs up the stairs. Jolene followed after him concerned for his well-being. It was an invasion of privacy for Danny to have gone out and do this. James was still having trouble trusting people and Jolene knew better than to go to his room without permission. James bursts into the room and finds most of his things where he left them. The navy blue room smelled of paint but everything seemed as it should be. James sighed in relief as Jolene walked up behind him. 

“Is everything ok?” Jolene asked him worriedly. “He didn’t move around your stuff did he.” 

“No, no he didn’t” James answers with a sigh. “Smells like paint though but at least I can open the window to air the smell out.” 

Jolene couldn’t help the chuckle that passed her lips. James smiled down at her and before he could say anything, Jolene dropped the smile, the air of awkwardness returning between them. She turned away from him and starts to make her way downstairs. James had no other choice but to follow after her as if nothing was wrong.

“Jeez, what kind of guy do you think me for?” Danny asks them as they returned. “I know better than to mess with some ex-soldier’s shit. Even though it was hard not to, you live like a pig, Jamie.” 

James just rolled his eyes at Danny, ignoring the remark. 

“So Delilah and Piper are dying to see this place and really want to get this party underway.” Danny tells Jolene as he hands her the spare keys back to her. “The bar is ready to open today but I’m assuming you’ll want to wait until the party to make the big reveal and that’s going to take some time.” 

“Yeah,” Jolene sighs out. “I should start to talk to them and plan this thing before they bust that door down.” 

“Good idea,” Danny says as he makes his way to the door. “My work is done. I’ll just wait for the party invite on my mailbox.” 

“Thanks Danny,” Jolene says waving him off as he left. Once the door closed, it was just Jolene and James in the bar. The silence returned as their eyes scoured the bar once more before landing on each other. Jolene shrugged off her coat and placed it on the couch. 

“I should go talk to Piper and Delilah,” Jolene tells him. 

James just nods, unsure of what to tell her. 

“I should go clean the mess of my room. Start making space for all of the things I got in D.C.”

Jolene just nods at that before excusing herself from the room and making her way out of the bar to the diner next door. 

James just sighed as he watched her go. There was nothing he could say that could make her stay or fix the drift that his conversation made on them. It was better to just let her go. It would make it easier on him when he had to leave her for good. 

James shrugged off his coat and placed it on the bar counter. He sighed as he looked at the bar around him once more before making his way upstairs. The room was what James described as an organized chaos. Piles of clothes in one corner, journals that held bits and pieces of memories were set in another disorganized stack. His bed was made but under it was a pile of mess too. A duffle bag filled with unused weapons and his uniform from Hydra. James kicked that hidden once more as he organized his room and organized his thoughts. 

  -------------

There was the initial shock as Piper and Delilah walked into the newly furnished and redone bar. They couldn’t believe how much had changed. Jolene let them wander around in amazement as she herself set down the boxes of decorations down on the bar counter. Piper couldn’t stop spinning around the center of the bar. Delilah had to stop her before she fell down with the box of glasses she held. 

“This is absolutely gorgeous.” Delilah comments. “Danny did good work here. Maybe I should redecorate the diner too.” 

“No, please don’t.” Jolene pleads. “The diner is perfect the way it is.”

“It does have that 50’s kind of feel.” Piper comments as she sets down the glasses on the table. “I couldn’t see the diner any other way than it is.” 

“You’re right.” Delilah responds. 

Jolene couldn’t help but smile as they started to unpack the boxes. Piper was going off about how they should string up white twinkling lights and move some chairs and tables out of the way to make the dance floor bigger. Delilah was talking about the food that they would need to bring in, chips and salsa, burger sliders, hot dogs, etc. Jolene just nodded for most of it as she got distracted in her thoughts. 

Her mind strayed to the man upstairs. Not God per say, but her mind strayed there too. She couldn’t believe that from everyone, it would be her that would find the untraceable Winter Soldier, the amnesiac James Buchanan Barnes. Of course it would be this certain soldier that she would fall for. The one soldier that she couldn’t fall for. 

“Jo?” 

Jolene snaps towards Delilah who is waving a hand in front of her. 

“Did you even hear a word I said?” Delilah asks her. 

“What did you say?” Jolene answers with a slightly appalled face. “I’m sorry. I got distracted.” 

“Clearly,” Delilah says worriedly. “Is everything ok?” 

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” Jolene responds looking down at the silverware in her hands. “Just have a lot to do for this party.” 

“That’s why Piper and I are here for.” Delilah responds. 

“And I am very thankful for that.” Jolene says smiling up at her before unpacking tablecloths and other decorations. 

“You would tell me if something was wrong, right Jo?” Delilah asks her one last time. 

“Of course I would,” Jolene says smiling up at her. “You’re family to me.” 

“Good,” Delilah says looking down at her box of old paper decorations. “Good.” 

Piper was detangling the string lights that they had used the year before for the fall festival. She was going to use them to give the bar more lighting and a more magical ambiance. As she did this, James had come downstairs and Piper quickly grabbed his attention. 

“James,” Piper calls out to him. James quickly turns around and finds her. He smiles down at the teenager who beckons him towards her. Having no other choice, James walks up to her. 

“Piper, how's everything?” James asks her. 

“Comme ci, comme ca.” Piper responds with a shrug as she detangled more lights. 

“Really?” James answers translating the French easy. “That boring?” 

“It’s just the usual,” Piper responds before quirking her eye up at James. “And since when did you speak French?” 

“Way before you were born,” James answered as he recalled his time in World War II. Piper noticed the distant stare he had now and the unconscious focus it had. Piper also noticed how Jolene quickly looked away from him, which seemed to snap James out of his small trance. 

“So… you and Jo huh?” Piper asks him. 

“Excuse me?” James asks pocketing his hands in his jacket. 

“You and Jo.” Piper states with a chuckle. “You like her.” 

“It’s not… It’s not what you think.” James quickly starts to explain but Piper shook her head at him. 

“Don’t worry, Jamie.” Piper assures him. “You’re not the first soldier to fall for the single bartender.” 

“What do you mean?” James asks interested. 

“Come on,” Piper eggs him on. “You aren’t the first soldier that she’s helped out and you aren’t the first soldier that has looked at her that way.” 

“And assuming that Jo still being single means that none of those soldiers stuck around.” 

“She never gave them a chance to start something with her.” Piper explains to him. “Jolene has a strict rule of not dating the people she’s helped. It has something to do with taking advantage of the situation or some psychological b.s. like that.” 

James’ heart was breaking as he heard this. His eyes stray up once more to Jo who was talking to Delilah with a carefree character. The same carefree character she used to be when she was around him. 

“You don’t like her do you?” Piper asks him, snapping him out of his heartbroken daze. James looks down at her unsure of how to respond. Piper couldn’t help herself but chuckle at his lost puppy face. “You love her. Oh my gosh, you _really_ love her.” 

“Piper, you said it yourself. I don’t have a chance with her so…” 

“I never said that.” Piper interrupts him. “I said that others have tried and failed, but that doesn’t apply to you.”

“How so?” 

“Because you’re still here. Every guy that’s admitted their feelings to her never stay for long.”

“I confessed to her how I feel.” James admits to Piper. “She hasn’t acted the same way around me since. Maybe she’s ready to kick me out.” 

“Then how do you explain the longing gaze she has on you right now.” Piper states nodding towards Jo. 

James turns to look at Jolene who quickly turns away as their eyes catch each others, a light blush decorated her cheeks. There was a flicker of hope that warmed James’ chest at Piper’s analyzation. He turns back to Piper who had a grin on her face. 

“What do I do to win her back?” James asks Piper with immense sincerity. Piper couldn’t help the large smile that was almost splitting her face at the idea of being a legit matchmaker.

“I have an idea.” Piper tells him. “It involves twinkling lights, music, and dancing.”


	18. She Will Be Loved

Chris and Eric were grilling burgers and hotdogs on the roof. The tables downstairs were all set up with dark tablecloths and small candles. The whole bar was lit by dangling twinkling lights, one’s that Piper worked all day on in hanging them. Danny and some others were arguing over the jukebox. Piper and Delilah were helping everyone get fed and seated while Jolene was behind the bar serving the drinks. 

Everyone was loving the complete change the bar has gone through. Jolene smiled and thanked every praising compliment they gave her but her mind was on something else. James had yet to come downstairs and she feared it had to do with the more than usual crowd in the bar. Jolene was about to ask Piper to go check in on him when James finally makes an appearance. Jolene was momentarily stunned as she caught sight of him. 

James was wearing one of the tailored shirts that they bought in D.C. The sleeves were rolled up slightly, the shirt tucked in with black dress pants. The dark blue material of the shirt enhanced the color of his eyes which were easy to see since his long hair was gelled back. He looked… handsome and strangely at ease with everyone around him. 

People were greeting him as if they known him their whole life. He greeted Delilah and shook Danny’s hand, messed up Piper’s hair, before making his way to the bar. All this time, Jolene was just staring at him in awe and when his eyes landed on her, she quickly looked away. 

“Need any help?” he asks her as he stands across from her, the bar counter being the only thing between them. 

Jolene busied herself with cleaning the glasses and didn’t dare look up. She could now smell the light hint of cologne making her head slightly dizzy by his overall being. Jolene cleared her throat and shook her head.

“I’m good here,” she tells him. “You go and enjoy the party.” 

Jolene instinctively looks up and offers him an encouraging smile. James returned the smile before nodding at her and making his way through the crowded bar. Jolene sighed as she watched him go, unsure of how to act around him with everything she knew and mainly everything she felt. She turns away from him and refocuses on loading up the fridge with beers. 

“How’s it going?” Piper asks as she follows after James.

“Not so good,” James answers. “She barely looked at me when we talked.”

“That’s impossible,” Piper comments. “You look hot tonight. How could she _not_ look at you?” 

“Piper…” James tiredly says. 

“My plan will work Jamie,” Piper cuts him off. “Just wait for my signal and the rest is up to you.” 

James didn’t get a chance to argue as Piper slipped through the crowd and disappeared from his sight. He was really considering going to go hide out in his room again before he’s shoved. James turns around and finds Jacob looking at him apologetically. 

“Sorry, man.” he tells him. “Too many people in a very small place, but it looks great though!”

“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?” James answers as he looks around the bar. 

“Haven’t seen much of you around lately.” Jacob states. “The Jones’ next door were a bit worried.” 

“We headed to D.C. for a while,” James tells him. “And Jo and I have been mainly cooped up in her apartment waiting for these renovations to be done.” 

“So you and Jo finally got together?” Jacob asks as he takes a swing of his beer. 

“No, we’re just friends at the moment,” James answers quickly. 

“At the moment?” Jacob asks interested. “Does that mean there’s a possibility of it becoming something more?”

James didn’t like the topic of the conversation and Jacob’s deep interest in it. This wasn’t a topic he wanted to talk about especially with a stranger he barely knew. 

“I uh…If you’ll excuse me, there’s a few more people I have to talk to.” 

Jacob just smiled and said a quick goodbye before James made his way through the crowd and up the stairs. He needed out of the enclosed space the bar. James needed fresh air and to clear his mind off the leap of faith he was about to do tonight. 

 --------------

Piper noticed immediately that Jolene and James were being repelled by each other. James would enter the bar, Jolene would step out. When Jolene stepped back in, James would flee to the roof or his room. This was not the way she had planned things out. People were already leaving, cutting the night early due to their work the next day. 

As the bar became less crowded, there wasn’t much of a need to socialize and the atmosphere cleared up a bit. James and Jolene couldn’t hide and run anymore which finally gave Piper the break that she needed. Piper grabbed James before he could make a run for it and started to laid it on him.

“You avoiding her the whole night isn’t the plan, Jamie” Piper exclaimed.

“I can’t help it,” James grits out. “There’s too many people here watching and if she rejects me they’ll know and then they’ll blame it on me and they’ll take it on me and I won’t be able to see her any more and I…” 

James stopped his rambling and Piper couldn’t help but sigh. 

“…you don’t want to lose her.” Piper finishes. “I get it. There’s a lot riding on this but if you don’t take that leap, you’ll be living with what ifs. Do you really want to have that in your conscious James?”

“There’s a lot of things already on my conscious Pipes,” James confesses to her. “I don’t need one more.” 

“Then ask her to dance,” Piper states. “Ask the most beautiful woman to dance and make her fall in love with you, which shouldn’t be hard because she already is.” 

“Don’t say things like that Piper,” James retorts as he looked down at the teenager. “You’re just putting my hopes up.” 

Piper couldn’t help but chuckle. She thought that the whole teenage angst went away in adulthood but it just seems to follow wherever you go. Piper couldn’t help but pat James on the shoulder. 

“I’ll get everyone out,” Piper tells him. “Leave you two alone to settle things. When I step out that door, that’s your sign to make a move.” 

Piper walked away from James and headed towards her mom and dad. She knew her mother would be the one to understand the circumstances and help her. Her dad would just want to stop it from happening and that’s not what she wanted. Delilah quickly warmed up at the idea and started to take Danny and everyone else out of the party in a very inconspicuous way. 

Piper set a song to play on the jukebox, filling the bar instantly with the melody. She looked up at James, smiling at him in encouragement, before finally leaving the bar. She crossed the street to where everyone was waiting in. Delilah had to spill the matchmaking secret in order to get everyone out. Most of the women left their spouses and made their way across the street to Dana’s antique store. From there, they had the perfect view of the bar inside since the blinds were drawn open.

“Come on, James.” Piper whispers. “I gave you the sign.” 

 --------------

James didn’t know what to do, but the music was playing and he knew his window was quickly closing. He looked up at Jolene who was so engrossed in her task that she slightly jumped when he cleared his throat. He set down the chair he was moving as his eyes met hers. Before she could nervously look away, James found his voice. 

“Dance with me, doll?” he asked her. 

The question had taken her by surprise and she didn’t respond.

“I wanted to ask you earlier but there were so many people around…” James confesses to her. “I would really like to dance with you, Jo.” 

Jolene swallowed and unconsciously nodded at his request. She placed the glass on the counter and placed the loose strand of her hair behind her ear. Her heart was beating rapidly for so many reasons but she had already said yes. There was no backing out of this. There was no way she could runaway.

The music was playing softly with the song Piper chose. James and Jolene made their way towards each other. Both of them feeling an awkward tension between them but still following through with the dance. James timidly grabbed her hand with his metal one and placed his other hand on her waist. Jolene blushes lightly and looks away from him. 

As much as she tried to fight it, she felt so many things in this one perfect moment and couldn’t help but wish that they were two normal people enjoying a simple normal dance. She loved him but she was taking advantage of his situation and keeping this secret from Steve, one of her new friends, was hard for her.Let’s not forget Sam’s warning and Tony’s overprotectiveness and well the fact that she had fallen for the Winter Soldier. 

They were doing a slow and simple box step. James couldn’t stop himself from staring at her. She was beautiful tonight. Jolene had always been beautiful for him but this kind of beauty today was different. He’s seen her in a dress before but this time it was different. This time she had a light blush on her cheeks and he could feel her heart beat faster. 

Jolene was humming lightly and lookingaway from him. He knew they were distant ever since DC and all he wanted was to get back to the way they were. At least then, she would stay and talk to him instead of run away every time he came into the room. James couldn’t help but chuckle and that caused Jolene to turn back to him with a confused expression on her face. 

“What’s so funny?” she found herself asking him.

“Well besides you initiating the conversation for the first time in forever… this song.” 

“What is wrong with this song?” Jolene asks defensively. “I love this song…” 

“Nothing’s wrong with the song.” James exclaimed in his defense. “I just… this song was the one you were singing the first night I met you. I just realized that.”

“You remember that…” Jolene whispers surprised and flattered. “That was so long ago.” 

“What can I say, doll? I have a very good memory.” 

Jolene smiled tightly at him and turned away. She couldn’t help but remember what she saw in the museum. The pictures and the videos and the artifacts were still so fresh in her mind. She wanted to pull away from the dance but knew that James would just follow her with questions. 

 

 _I drove for miles and miles and wound up_  
At your door  
I've had you so many times but somehow I want more

 

James couldn’t help but shake his head as he heard this song. Jolene took notice of this and turned back to him. 

“What?” she asked him. 

“It’s just…” James says with one more shake of his head. “This is your favorite song?” 

“Yeah.” Jolene whispers. “There’s something honest about it. Just listen to it.” 

 

 _I don't mind spendin' everyday_  
_Out on your corner in the pourin' rain_  
 _Look for the girl with the broken smile_  
 _Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_  
 _And she will be loved, and she will be loved_

 

“It’s just a sad song,” James comments. 

“Yeah, but it has a bitter romantic element about it.” Jolene responds. “It makes it more beautiful in my opinion.” 

James didn’t respond and just continued to listen to the song, dancing to the soft melody. Jolene continued her humming and closed her eyes. He couldn’t pay attention to the song as he saw Jolene look relaxed for the first time in a while. 

 

 _It's not always rainbows and butterflies_  
_It's compromise that moves us along yeah_  
 _My heart is full, and my door's always open_  
 _You can come anytime you want yeah_

 

“What’s wrong?” James asked not being able to handle the temporary peaceful ambiance they had going. Jolene stopped her humming and opened her eyes at him. James just sighed and continued. “Ever since we came from DC you’ve been distant. I know confessing my feelings play a role in it but something tells me there’s more. Something happened that’s caused you to be distant but I miss you, Jo. I miss you a hell of a lot.” 

“You can’t say things like that.” Jolene sighed out. 

“What did I… wait, you can’t honestly mean that I can’t say I miss you?” James exclaims. Jolene turns away from him and that was answer enough for him. “I just want to know what’s going on.” 

Jolene pulled herself away from him and just shook her head at him. 

“I can’t do this right now.” 

“What is going on?” James asks again blocking her from escaping. “You’re running again.” 

“I just…” Jolene tries to make up an answer. “I just don’t know how to act around you.” 

James didn’t know what to make of her response. Jolene didn’t mean to be honest but found the words slipping out of her mouth. She stepped away from James and tried to collect herself. 

“I shouldn’t have…”

“Stay.” James called out to her. “We need to talk about this.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Jolene states grabbing her things but James once again stops her from making her way out of the door. “James…” 

“You promised me one dance.” James tells her. “Just one dance.” 

Jolene sighed knowing it was a bad idea to continue whatever this was but James had this look on his face like his whole world depended on this dance and Jolene found herself complying to finish the rest of the song. 

 

 _I don't mind spendin' everyday_  
_Out on your corner in the pourin' rain_  
 _Look for the girl with the broken smile_  
 _Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_  
 _And she will be loved, and she will be loved_  
 _And she will be loved, and she will be loved_

 

James looked down at her and Jolene found it rude and useless to just look around the bar and avoid him like this. She stared back at him, waiting. Jolene wasn’t sure what exactly she was waiting for but she felt something coming. She knew that there was a change happening as she stared into his blue eyes. 

“Why is this dance so important to you?” Jolene found herself asking. 

“Because Piper asked me to.” James responded with a teasing smile. 

Jolene could see how much he changed since the first time she met him. His eyes no longer held this lost look in them. Now they were filled with light and humor and a hint of concern. 

Jolene knew that he was concerned for her, concern for what he could have done to ruin their relationship. She found herself feeling guilty about what she was doing and what she was hiding. He didn’t deserve secrecy from her part but he was recovering. If Jolene told him about what she found out about him, she didn’t know if it’ll be a step forward or a landslide down.

 

 _I know where you hide alone in your car_  
_Know all of the things that make you who you are_  
 _I know that goodbye means nothing at all_  
 _Comes back and makes me catch her every time she_  
 _Falls_

 

“So why did Piper ask you to dance with me?” Jolene asked him after a while.

“She didn’t really tell me to ask you,” James replies. 

“Well then why am I…” Jolene started to say as she started to pull herself away but James interrupted her before she could continue with her statement.

“Piper asked me to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room.” James answered. “I found that person to be you.” 

Jolene found herself blushing again and looked down from James’ stare. 

 

_Yeah, tap on my window, knock on my door,_

_I want to make you feel beautiful_

 

James couldn’t take it anymore and found himself grabbing Jolene’s chin. Jolene looked up at him in surprise but was even caught more so when James leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the lack of updates. I knew what I wanted for this chapter just not how to get there and it took me a while to get through that writer's block.


	19. Crossed Lines

The clock was ticking loudly in the silent room. James rolled over and stared at the clock on the wall, glaring at it. It was as if the constant ticking was mocking him. James had a great urge to throw something at the clock but restrained himself. He was frustrated and upset. He had allowed himself to hope, convinced himself that he deserved this. James couldn’t have been more wrong. The world had proven it to him once more.

There was so many reasons as to why James wanted to stay in bed but he knew that he had to get out of it. There were so many things he had to do before Jolene came in. If she decided to return. 

James made his way downstairs and sighed at the sight of the bar. It was still decorated from last night’s party. He was about to start cleaning the place up when a crash caught his attention. James turned to corner to find Piper with a ripped trash bag. 

“Piper?” James asked confused. 

“Shit,” Piper muttered to herself before turning around and looking up at James. “Hi, Jamie.” 

“What are you doing here, Piper?” James asks her, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I was uh… I was just helping with the clean-up.” Piper answers before dropping to her knees and picking up the trash once more. 

“Piper.” James called out to her but Piper kept her head down. “Piper.” 

Piper wanted to ignore him but the urgency in his voice made her look up. 

“She’s not coming is she?” James asked her as he noticed the guilt on her face. 

“I don’t know,” Piper tells him. “I came here on my own.” 

“Then why… why do you look so guilty?” James asked her. 

“Because it’s my fault,” Piper states. “I forced you to take action and she ran out of the bar and Jo called my mom this morning to say she wasn’t coming to work today and if my dad could look over the bar tonight and I didn't realize how bad this was and I’m so sorry, Jamie. I shouldn’t have meddled because now she’s ignoring you and this is all my fault…” 

Piper would have continued with her rambling if it wasn’t for James grabbing the teenager by her shoulders and forcing her to look up at him. 

“This isn’t your fault.” James states. 

“But it is!” Piper exclaims. “She literally ran out of here!” 

“Yeah, she did but…” James trails off as he realized what Piper said. He narrowed his eyes at the young teenager. “How did you know Jo ran out on me last night?” 

“Oh…uh…” Piper chuckles out nervously. “Funny story…” 

“Piper.” James says in a serious tone.

“You know Dana from across the street?” Piper asks him in which James nods. “Well she has the perfect view of the bar and you guys always leave the blinds open so I saw the whole thing, and by _I,_ I mean most of the ladies from this street.” 

James scoffed at this, his shoulders tensing up, and he turned away from Piper. He let out a breath, running his hand through his hair, before just dropping his resolve. 

“So everyone saw my epic fail last night?” James asked her. 

“Yeah…” Piper sighs out. 

James rubbed his face stressfully, but there was nothing he could do. 

“If it makes you feel any better, we didn’t think it was an epic fail.” Piper states. 

“What could you possibly mean, Piper?” James grits out. “She ran out of the bar. She literally grabbed her bag, turned away from me, and ran.” 

“You’re focusing on the negative, Jamie.” Piper replies. “Don’t you remember what happened before that?” 

“Piper…” Jamie groans out annoyed that she knew what went down. 

“Seriously Jamie,” Piper sighs out. “Jo kissed you back! She closed her eyes and did the foot raising bit.” 

“Foot raising what?” James asked confused. 

“Come on, you know?” Piper says patting his arm. “The whole swooning thing? It’s like in every romance movie ever.” 

James was still confused and Piper rolled her eyes at him.

“It doesn’t matter. The concept is still there. She kissed you back!” 

James rolled his eyes at her. 

“And she still left, Piper.” James states. “She ran away without a word.” 

“She hasn’t left town though,” Piper points out. “You know she gets out of town every time she’s spooked about something.” 

“Spooked?” James asked her. “That’s how you’re describing what went down last night.” 

“Ok, not spooked. Maybe surprised?” Piper offers up which causes James to sigh. “I don’t know! I’m not a writer here!”

James turned away from her and took a deep breath. 

“I think I know what to do now,” James tells Piper as he glanced around the bar. His eyes land on Piper again who is just looking up at him expectantly. “Yeah, I think I know how to fix this.” 

_________

Jolene laid in bed hearing her phone alarm go off again. She had the urge to press snooze again and remain in bed the whole day. The kiss was on a constant loop on her mind and she couldn’t make it stop. She had run away, as usual, but now she remained stuck in her bed. She knew it was getting pretty late and her stomach was grumbling for food. So Jo turned off the alarm and finally rolled out of bed. 

She slowly made her way downstairs and part of her slightly expected James to be laid out on the couch. It was empty though and her clouded mind remembered that he had moved back into the bar. This caused her stop in the middle of the stairway and just stare at the empty apartment. Jo never realized how alone she was and as if the universe knew what she was thinking, Cleo came bounding up the stairs to greet her. 

“Hey Cleo,” Jo muttered quietly as she made her way downstairs, the cat following at her heels. “I’ll get that cat food out in a sec. Just let me situate myself first, ok?” 

Cleo followed after her anyway and Jolene couldn’t help but smile at that. 

Jolene was rummaging through her fridge but couldn’t find anything appeasing. She was ready to just eat microwavable pizza for breakfast before she heard the knock on the door. 

“I wonder who that could be, Cleo.” Jo tells the cat who just meowed in response. Jo made her way to the front door and opened it to find Delilah. She had a cup of coffee in one hand while the other was holding a paper bag with a donut on the front. 

“I brought you breakfast.” Delilah tells her. “Something in your voice this morning made it sound like you really needed it.” 

“Donut holes?” Jo asked as she let Delilah pass by. 

“Yup,” Delilah answers. “And coffee with a ton of sugar. Just like you like it.” 

Jo took the cup and bag from her and quickly made it to her dining room. She sat down and took a large sip from the coffee cup. Cleo kept on rubbing against her legs and Jo sighed. 

“Can you do me a favor, Delilah and give Cleo a can of cat food?” Jo asked her. “It’s in the cabinet under the sink.” 

Delilah quickly ducked down and did as Jo asked. Cleo quickly left Jo alone and Delilah took a seat across from her. 

“If you’re here, who’s taking care of the diner?” Jo asked her. 

“One of my managers.” 

“Sorry that wasn’t my intended question,” Jo states as she picked at a donut hole. “I meant what are you doing here? Why aren’t you at your diner?” 

“Because I’m worried about you, that’s why.” Delilah answered. Jo looked up at her with a blank expression and Delilah just sighed. “I know what happened last night.” 

Jo tried not to tense up, but her body did anyway. 

“What do you mean?” Jolene asked her. “Nothing happened last night.” 

“I saw it.” Delilah tells her. “I saw him kiss you.” 

Jo dropped the donut hole in her hand and looked away from Delilah. She let out a shaky breath out, trying to collect her thoughts. She hadn’t expected that someone had caught on to what happened last night. 

“How?” Jolene asked her. “How did… how did you see that? James and I… we were alone.” 

“Your blinds were open,” Delilah explains to her. “Everyone has a clear view of what goes on in there. Dana’s Antique shop has a perfect distant view.” 

Jolene rubbed a hand over her face. 

“That’s great,” she muttered. “Just freaking great.” 

“We didn’t mean for you to have an audience, Jo.” Delilah tells her. “We all thought… We just thought that you and him would get that anticipated happy ending but you…” 

“I ran.” 

“Yeah, which I don’t understand why you did.” Delilah states. “I’ve seen the way you look at him, Jo. It’s a look I’ve never seen you wear before. I thought you really like the guy. I thought he was the one who was going to change things around here.” 

“Delilah…” Jo sighs out. 

“Honey, I don’t understand why you ran away from him. You seemed to be really enjoying yourself and then you tucked tail and ran away.” Delilah continued. “Why in the hell would you run away from him?” 

Jolene remained silent, unsure of what to say. Part of her believed she ran because James wasn’t James; James was James Buchanan Barnes, aka Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier. Jolene wanted to blame this heavy secret she was carrying but she knew better. She knew she was just running away, like she always does. Things got too confusing inside her and she ran. 

“I don’t know,” Jolene responded to Delilah. “I don’t know why I keep running. It’s unhealthy, I know, but James… I can’t be with him.” 

“Now why not?” Delilah asked her. 

“Because I’m no good for him.” Jolene told her. “I’ll only bring trouble.” 

“How can you possibly do that?” Delilah huffs out with a laugh. 

“Well first, Tony would…” 

“Tony isn’t here.” Delilah interrupts her. “What’s your next excuse?” 

“Sam and Ste-“ 

“Well look at that, they aren’t here either.” Delilah interrupts her again, enticing a small smile from Jolene. 

“Delilah, you don’t understand.” Jolene sighs out to her. 

“Understand what, hon?” Delilah asked her. “What’s hard to understand about a girl liking a boy and vice versa?” 

“So many things.” Jolene answers. 

“I have a feeling you’re just making things harder on yourself.” Delilah states causing Jolene to look up at her in surprise. “If you really like James then why are you making up obstacles right at this moment. Yes there will come a time when you’ll hit a bump on the road, when James will meet Tony and all of your other friends, but that’s in the future. You should be focusing in the now, Jo.” 

Jolene couldn’t help but sigh as she heard this, relief flooding over her whole body. Delilah, having done what she had meant to do, stands up from her chair.

“Thanks Delilah,” Jolene says smiling up at her. “I really needed to hear that.” 

Delilah couldn’t help but smile in return. She pulled Jolene into an embrace and hugged her tightly. 

“I’m always here, Jo.” Delilah tells her. “Whenever you need a mom, I’m always here.” 

Hearing this, Jolene hugged her even tightly before finally letting her go. Jolene was about to sit down again but Delilah stopped her from doing so. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Delilah exclaims at her. “You’ve got to go get ready. The bar isn’t going to run itself.”

“What?” Jolene asked startled. 

“There is no time like the present.” Delilah tells her. “It’s time you face that boy and you tell him how you really feel. I don’t think I can handle seeing you or James moping around a second longer.” 

Jolene couldn’t help but giggle at that as she bounded up the stairs. Delilah cleaned up after Jolene and just shook her head. 

“Silly girl.” 

_________

Chris and James were holding the bar on their own. This wasn’t the first time they worked together but it was still strange. Neither were used to this. Chris didn’t know a thing about bartending while James, with the little he knew, was used to the pattern Jolene and him had created over their spent time. They had managed to move surprisingly in sync. 

The door opens and James didn’t even bother to look up. The whole night was slow and the newcomer was probably Delilah again to check in on him. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Chris visibly sigh in relief. 

“I got it from here.” 

James looked up to find Jolene shrugging of her coat and placing it on the coat rack. Her eyes were on Chris who threw the rag onto the counter and quickly shuffled out from behind the counter. He gave Jolene a quick hug and a peck on the cheek before leaving the bar altogether. 

“Hi James,” Jolene greeted as she placed a song on the jukebox, a soft melody filling the very empty bar. 

James looked away from her incoming gaze and continued to put away the new shipment of beer. Jolene slowly gazed at her bar, taking notice that the twinkling lights were still on display and were on. She looked back to James to see his back facing hers. 

“James, I…”

“I have to take care of something,” James interrupts her. “Do you mind manning the bar alone for a while?” 

“Oh yeah, sure.” Jolene replied as James closed the fridge and made his way up the stairs. Jolene could only watch him go and she made her way to the front door and locked it. She sighed, running a hand through her hair before cleaning up the bar. Jolene had decided to close early since there was no one here and there was something she had to do. Jolene started putting the chairs up but stopped when she heard the heavy steps on the staircase. 

“James, there’s something I have to tell you.” Jolene states turning to him. 

“Me too,” James replies setting a bag down. 

Jolene’s smile falters at the sight of the bag, confusion was written all over her face. 

“What’s the meaning of this?” Jolene asked looking down at the packed bag. 

“I…uh…” James stutters out, rubbing his neck shyly. “I thought it best to move on. You’ve done all you could for me, it’s time I leave you alone.” 

“You’re leaving?” Jolene asks him. 

“I kinda have to.” James replies. “I crossed a line that I clearly shouldn’t have. You run and I don’t want you to run from your home because this is your home, this is your family here. I have no right to take that from you.” 

Jolene looked away from him as he said this. She couldn’t bare to look at him right now. 

“I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” James continues. “I’m sure I’ll never see the kindness you gave to me again so I’m glad I got the chance to enjoy it. You welcomed me into your bar, your home, and your life. I’m sorry that I asked for more. I knew I shouldn’t have, but…” 

James paused as he saw Jolene walk to the window and closed the blind. 

“I’m sorry Jo,” James apologizes. “I really am. Once I find a new place and job, I’ll pay you back for everything you spent on me. It might take me a while but I’ll pay every penny and…” 

Jolene kept on closing the blinds, her back still facing him. 

“This is probably the last time I’ll see you so I just wanted to…” James stops talking as the blinds slammed closed. “Jo, can you please stop that and listen to me. I at least deserve your attention in these last minutes. Will you please stop closing the blinds and look at me?” 

Jolene turns around and faces him once the last blind covers the window. 

“I’m sorry, James, but I couldn’t leave those blinds open.” Jolene says walking up to him. “I really don’t want to give Dana or Delilah or the rest of the town another glimpse of our lives. Especially as to what I’m going to do now.” 

“What are you gonna do-?” James starts to ask before he finds Jolene grabbing his face and pulling it down to meet hers. Her lips easily find his and they seem to be molded exactly for him. The last kiss had taken her by surprise, but this one, she had control over and she easily got lost into it. 

James was the one stunned this time, but she was kissing him. Jolene had made the first move and here she was, tangling her hands in his long hair. James couldn’t help but respond to her touch as he tugged her waist to bring her body closer to his. 

Jolene pulled away, taking a deep breath and chuckling. A light blush graced her face as she looked up to him. James couldn’t help but let out a chuckle himself as he pressed his forehead against hers. 

“Well look at that,” Jolene sighs out. “It seems I’ve crossed a line myself.” 


	20. The Great Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And drama and action ensues because a happily ever after doesn't always come this easy.

Jolene groaned at the heavy arm around her waist that was preventing her from stretching out like she usually does. She groans once more as that heavy arm tugs her closer to the furnace of the man behind her. Jolene knew he was awake and was doing this to bother her, and as much as she wanted to exclaim this at him, she couldn’t. Jolene sighed, enjoying this peaceful moment a little longer, before turning around and looking over at James. His blue eyes met with hers and she could see that he no longer looked lost. In fact, his eyes were filled with the joyful spark of being found.

“Good morning,” James greeted her in a dark, unused voice. 

“Good morning,” Jolene mumbles as she tiredly rubs her eyes. “Sleep well?” 

“The best sleep I’ve had in years,” James answers fondly. 

“You always say that,” Jolene states as she shifts uncomfortable under his arm, hoping he’ll get the memo. “Three days in a row now mister.” 

“What can I say? It’s the truth.” James answers as he pulls his arm back, allowing Jolene to stretch out over the bed. He couldn’t help but smile at how adorable she was in the morning, even as she pouted at him. “Besides I’m not the one who keeps on staying over. That is all on you.” 

“No it’s not,” Jolene mumbled. “Every time I’m about to close the bar for the night you look at me with those big blue puppy eyes of yours _begging_ me to stay with you for the night.” 

James rolled his eyes at this and Jolene just scoffs. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know what you’re doing!” Jolene exclaims as she sits up and straddles his hips quickly grabbing James’ attention. “You even have pj’s ready for me to stay over in.” 

“Ok, ok… I give in.” James tells her as his hands find her waist. “But can you blame me? I’ve been wanting you for a while and now that I have you… I never want to let you go.” James ignores the shocked look on Jolene’s face as he rests his head on her shoulder, digging his face deeper into her neck. “I need to know that you’re real. I need to feel you and see you every morning just to further prove to myself that you’re not just another dream.” 

Jolene didn’t know how to respond to his confession and instead just opted to embrace him just as tightly. She rested her chin on top of his head, trying to maximize the physical contact as much as she could to relieve him of this lingering question he still had. 

It’s been like this for the past three days. Now that their feelings were out after a long time of just denying them or not acting upon them, they hadn’t been able to part from one another. It was as if they were trying to make up for lost time. 

“Breakfast?” Jolene asks him as she slowly pulls away from him.   
“Breakfast sounds good,” James answered as he watched her quickly get out of the bed and head into the closet. She grabbed one of his plaid shirts, that fit her quite largely and pulled it over her white shirt. She then grabbed her jeans from yesterday and disappeared into the bathroom to change. James saw this as his cue to get ready too and did so quickly. 

Once they were both ready did they walk downstairs together. It was pretty late in the morning but they didn’t mind the late start of the day. They had come across the last step before Jolene quickly pushed James back in surprise. 

“What are you doing here?” Jolene exclaims alarmed. 

“The door was unlocked so we thought it’ll be ok to sneak in with breakfast,” Delilah answered as her and Piper grinned at her. 

“Nice shirt,” Piper comments as she looks at the large button down. 

Jolene didn’t know how to respond to them, her face growing red. James stepped down beside her and smiled at Piper and Delilah. 

“Good morning,” he greets, trying to ignore that they’ve been caught red-handed. Of course nothing major has happened between them except for kissing but they hadn’t exactly voiced out their relationship to anyone. 

“So…” Piper drawls out. 

“Piper,” Delilah calls out her daughter before she could go too far. Delilah turns to the caught new couple and smiled at them. “So… how have you been?” 

Jolene rolled her eyes at her question and just focused on the free breakfast. This left James to answer the question. 

“We’ve been good,” he says curtly as he joined Jolene’s side. His hand instinctively falls to the middle of her back and she immediately leans into his side. She held a bite of a waffle up to James who quickly took it into his mouth. 

Piper and Delilah watched with a smile on their lips as they saw the couple be at ease. They had seen it from the very beginning, the lingering looks, the instant chemistry, and the way they were always looking out for each other. 

“Hate to break the harmony, but Tony has been calling you.” Delilah states, knowing it would burst Jolene’s bubble. “He called the phone at the diner too. I didn’t answer, but his voicemail did sound urgent.” 

“What did he say?” Jolene asks her with a frown settling in her face. 

“He just said that you need to call him or he’ll come knocking at your door.” Delilah says as she rises from the stool and tugs Piper to do the same. 

Jolene rolled her eyes as she heard this. 

“He’s being a drama queen,” Jolene sighs out. “I’ll call him later.” 

“Still giving him the cold shoulder for Sokovia?” Delilah asks amused. 

“Pretty much,” Jolene answers, looking away from Delilah’s gaze. James noticed that she was lying as her body tensed and she avoided anyone’s direct eye contact. 

James cleared his throat and smiled at Delilah and Piper. 

“I’ll make sure she gives him a ring,” James steps in causing Jolene to turn to him with a surprised expression. 

“Oh?” she asks. “You can make me do things now?” 

James couldn’t help but hum as he pulled her into his arms. 

“Yeah,” James whispers into her ear. “Something about my big blue puppy eyes seem to do the trick…” 

Jolene couldn’t help but chuckle and James placed a quick kiss on her forehead. 

“We need to head back to the diner,” Delilah tells them as she drags a reluctant Piper with her. “James make sure she calls Tony!” 

“I’m capable of doing things myself!” Jolene shouts after her as the door closes. She huffs out childishly causing James to chuckle. She turns her fake glare at him now. “I’m leaving.” 

“Come on, Jo.” James calls out to her as she grabs her bag and keys. “Don’t leave.” 

“I have to shower and change into _my_ clothes,” Jolene tells him before her resolve falls as she catches James’ bright blue eyes. “I’ll be back. I promise.”

James just nods and watches her slip through the door. Jolene steps out of the bar and catches Dana from across the street with a shit-eating grin. 

“Third day in a row, Jo.” Dana calls out. 

Jolene rolled her eyes as she waved Dana goodbye and turned the corner of the street. 

“Gossip runs too damn fast in this town.” 

\-------------

It had been a slow night at Crossroads which didn’t surprise Jolene or James. It was a Wednesday night of a very long week. Not a lot of people wanted to waste their time at a bar when they could be at home sleeping for the next day. So as usual, Jolene decided to close early for the night and had started to close down shop. 

James had just finished putting up the chairs while Jolene was checking the inventory. Once that was done, James and Jolene were behind the bar drying the glasses used for the night. James was drying them while Jolene was putting them away. 

“I forgot to ask, but did you end up calling Tony?” James asks her. 

“Shit,” Jolene hisses out. “I forgot.” 

“Jo…” 

“I’ll call him in the morning,” Jolene tells him. “It’s too late now.” 

James just shook his head but let the subject go. They finished putting up the glasses and James took the opportunity to pull her into a tight embrace. He quickly grabbed her and pulled her up onto the bar counter, ignoring her surprised squeal. James pressed his lips on hers and she easily melted into his arms. James pulls away and leans his forehead against hers. 

“Will you stay over tonight?” James asks her as he looked deeply into her eyes. 

“With you looking at me like that, how am I supposed to say no?” Jolene answers as she presses a quick kiss on his lips. 

James couldn’t help but smile as they remained together like this. They hadn’t moved past kissing which was fine by him, but he couldn’t help but imagine one of these nights where it would surpass that. He pressed a more urgent kiss on her lips this time, slipping his tongue as she gasped in surprise. Jolene tugged his hair and all of his senses disappeared as James solely focused on her. 

“Umm… hello?” 

James jumped at the sudden voice and before he could turn around to see who it was, Jolene tugged him into her. 

“Don’t,” she whispered into his ear as she slowly slipped off the bar counter. James was confused as Jolene slowly turned away from him and smiled at the intruder. She placed her hand on his back as a sign to remain that way. “Tony…” 

_Tony_

It was as if things moved slowly for all of them. James slowly turned around and found Tony Stark decked in his suit… his _Iron Man_ suit. Tony’s eyes grew large as he recognized the face of the long searched for Winter Soldier. Jolene noticed that James failed to remain hidden and tried her best to cover James from Tony, but how could she when the man was a head taller than her. 

“You.” James breathes out in surprise.

“ _Jolene…_ ” Tony says in shock as his eyes flicker to her in fear.

“Tony,” Jolene states surprisingly calm. “I’m sorry.” 

“Sorry for what?” Tony asks, but he soon received his answer. 

“For this,” Jolene exclaims as she lunges to the security panel and presses the emergency button. The whole bar counter area is covered in the security shield and Tony quickly begins to hit it, unable to get in.

“Jolene!” Tony shouts as he realizes her being trapped with the Winter Soldier. “Jolene, you don’t know what you’re dealing with!” 

As if Tony’s presence wasn’t enough to deal with, the door of the bar blasts open and Jacob comes in, guns blazing. 

“What the…?” Jolene begins to ask before Jacob raises the riffle and begins to shoot at the security shield. Instinctively, Jolene ducked and James covered her, but the bullets just bounced back from the security shield. It didn’t take long for Tony to immediately come to his senses and move to protect her. 

Knowing Tony was distracted, Jolene started to move quickly. She ignores the fight occurring between Tony and Jacob as she opens the cash register and starts to place the cash in a money bag. She quickly presses the bag into a shocked James’ hands before ducking under the counter and pulling out the shotgun. 

“Jolene,” James says confused.

“We have to go,” she tells him. “ _Bucky_ , we have to go.” 

Time seems to stop as he heard that nickname slip past her lips. 

_She knew. Oh God, she knew._

He didn’t register how she managed to drag him into the storage room connected to the bar counter. From there, Jolene shoved the door open that led to the alleyway behind the bar. Jolene was tugging his arm as a signal to run. 

“Tony will be on to us any minute and Jacob… I don’t know what the hell Jacob was doing there, but we have to go, Bucky. We have to run.” 

James was still shocked but his instincts kicked in as he began to run after Jolene. She took him down unfamiliar streets and he realized that they weren’t heading to her apartment but instead to a small neighborhood. Jolene quickly ran to the front door and started frantically knocking. The light inside slowly flickered on and the door opened. 

“Jolene?” Delilah asks confused, sleep evident in her eyes. 

“We’re in trouble. It’s caught up with me,” Jolene just states. “Bucky and I need to make an escape.” 

“An escape?” Delilah asks as she lets Jolene and James in. “Jo, what’s going on?”

“I promise I’ll explain everything, but I need to get to my dad’s stuff. I need to get into the garage.” 

Delilah quickly motioned to the hallway and pointed to the gray door. 

“You’ll find it there,” Delilah tells her. 

Without hesitation, Jolene drags James to the door and opens it. 

“What’s going on?” Piper asks as she descends down the stairs. 

“Go back upstairs, Piper.” Delilah orders her as she tightens her robe around her and quickly makes her way upstairs, dragging Piper with her. “Chris!” 

“What?” Chris shouts back. 

“It’s happening!” Delilah shouts to him. “It’s caught up with her.” 

“Shit,” Chris mumbles as he quickly heads into the closet and pulls out a duffel bag. Delilah enters the room and Chris hands it off to her. “Tell her I’m making the call now.” 

Delilah nods and starts to make her way downstairs. She found Jolene running on pure adrenaline as she opened up boxes and threw them down when she didn’t find what she was looking for. 

“The keys, the keys…” Jolene exclaimed. “Where are the damn keys?” 

James was still frozen as he tried to process everything that had just happened in the past few minutes. Before long, Jolene let out a relieved sigh as she found the single silver key hooked on an American flag keychain. 

“You found it?” Delilah asks as she comes into the garage. 

“Just in time,” Jolene tells her as she takes the duffel bag out of her hands. 

“Chris is making the call,” Delilah states. 

“Ok,” Jolene answers. “I should be on my way.” 

Delilah nods and turns to James who is still frozen in shock. She doesn’t say anything as she watches Jolene tug him across the garage. Jolene lets go of him as she reaches for the grey sheet and pulls it off, revealing a black 1959 Harley Davidson Sportster. She pulls it out of its leaned positioned from the garage and throws the keys to Bucky who catches them easily. 

“You said you know how to drive one of these?” Jolene asks him and for the first time, James responded.

“Yes…” 

“Then let’s take this baby for a ride.” 


	21. Safe House

The low knock resonates in the dark, lonely apartment. The next thing he hears is the shuffling of feet before the door swings open and reveals a tired looking Steve. At the sight of Tony, Steve straightens up and worry is seen throughout his face. 

“Is something wrong?” Steve asks as he lets Tony in. 

“No… yes… maybe.” Tony answers unsurely. Steve’s concern grows and Tony just sighs. “You might want to take a seat.” 

Steve slowly sinks into the couch as Tony sat across from him. 

“I have some good and bad news.” 

Steve nods for Tony to continue and he reluctantly does. 

“I went to see Jolene earlier tonight…” 

“Is she ok?” Steve asks. “Did something happen to her?” 

“She… she’s fine, I think…” Tony responds before stressfully rubbing his face. “She wasn’t alone, Cap.” 

Steve sighed as he realized that Tony was being dramatic as usual. Jolene was a grown woman and she had the right to date anyone she pleased. 

“Yeah, that soldier of hers. She told me about him… James.” 

“James.” Tony repeats, the name having a fowl taste in his mouth. “That soldier of hers is James… Buchanan Barnes.” 

Steve stops as he hears this and just watches as Tony stands up and starts to pace in front of him. 

“The Winter Soldier,” Tony states. “She had the Winter Soldier under her roof the whole time.” 

Steve was still watching Tony pace and ramble as he remained frozen in his seat. 

“From everyone, it had to be her.” Tony continues. “I made sure no one, _no one,_ ever found out about her, but _he_ dragged her into this.” 

“Where are they?” Steve asks quietly. Tony stops his pacing and looks away from the Captain. Steve stands up and Tony warily looks over at him. “ _Where are they?”_

“Sam is on pursuit…” 

“You let them get away!” Steve exclaims. 

“I was attacked!” Tony shouts back. “Some Hydra agent got in my way.” 

Tony takes a step towards Steve with a worried expression on his face. 

“We’re not the only ones who are after them,” Tony explains to Steve. “Remnants of Hydra are still searching and now they’re after Jolene too because she got in the middle of this. They’re running and I have no idea as to where. Your best friend, _your Bucky,_ dragged the girl I consider my sister into this. You better hope that I find her before Hydra does because I swear Bucky won’t live to breathe another day if she gets hurt.” 

Steve was about to threaten him back when someone else intervenes.

“Come on boys, let’s not start a civil war here.” Natasha states as she makes her way inside Steve’s apartment. 

“Nat…” Steve sighs out with relief. 

“We should start looking for them.” Natasha tells both men. “We can’t afford to waste any more time on feuds. You can settle this after we get Jolene and Bucky back.” 

Tony and Steve warily look at each other before following after Natasha. Steve grabs his pre-packed bag from the closet, picking up the shield along the way, and leaves his apartment behind. 

 ------------- 

They rode for the majority of the night. The only words spoken was when Jolene gave him instructions as to where to turn. The adrenaline was the only think keeping them both running, but they could both feel it draining away and the tiredness settle. Luckily for Bucky and Jolene, their destination came soon. It was an apartment building located in the outskirts of the city. Bucky parked the motorcycle inside an alley and hid it behind scraps of boxes that were scattered around. 

“Where are we?” Bucky asks her. 

“A safe house,” Jolene answers. “One of many.” 

Jolene moved forward and pressed in an already memorized code to get in. She led Bucky up the stairs to the penthouse on the top level. From there, Jolene looked into the mailbox and found the spare keys. 

“A friend of mine, Alex, is out of town and is letting us stay here.” Jolene explains to Bucky as she unlocks the door and lets them in. 

“Does he know about what’s going on?” Bucky asks her. 

“He knows that if I was ever in need of a place to hide that his place was always open.” Jolene answers. 

Bucky looked through the whole apartment, locking the windows and shutting the curtains closed. Jolene waited patiently in the living room for Bucky to be done with his perimeter check. She took a seat on the couch and watched silently as Bucky scanned the roof tops from the nearby buildings for any sign of agent. 

A silence filled the room as Jolene set the bag down in front of her. The exhaustion was hitting her very strongly so she closes her eyes for a second, her hand running through her hair stressfully. There were so many things she had to do before they had to move again. That’s if she didn’t get found first. 

“You knew.” 

The sudden break of silence caught Jolene by surprise and she slowly opened her eyes to find Bucky staring at her with a blank expression. 

“You knew who I was.” 

“Of course I knew,” Jolene answers quietly. “I don’t just kiss anyone.” 

“This isn’t a joke, Jo.” Bucky states angrily. 

Jolene didn’t know what to say so she just nodded. Bucky frowned at the mess he got them in and took a seat on the lilac across from her. 

“Aren’t you afraid of me?” Bucky asks her as he rubbed his face tiredly.

Jolene slipped out of her chair and made her way towards him. She kneeled in front of him and pulled his hands out of his face. 

“Should I be?” she asks him. “All you’ve ever been is good to me.” 

“I’m not a good man,” Bucky answers. 

“Yes, you are.” Jolene tells him with a small smile on her lips. “You’re better than most.” 

Jolene presses her forehead against his and feels his hot breath hit her face. She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on Bucky’s lips. It takes a while for Bucky to respond to it and once he does, he immediately stops. 

“I can’t…” Bucky says with a grimace. “We can’t.” 

“This doesn’t change anything,” she whisper to him. 

“Yes it does.” 

“No,” Jolene says with a shake of her head. “I want to be with you, Bucky.” 

“No, no, no…” Bucky sighs out. “You want to be with _James._ James was the one who worked with you the past months, who took care of you, and who dealt with your crazy shit.”

“You _are_ James,” Jolene argues. 

“Then why do you keep calling me Bucky?” Bucky asks her as he stands up from his seat. He turns away from her. “It sounds wrong when you call me that.” 

Jolene stared at him silently as he walked a few steps away from her. 

“I love you,” Jolene states as she stands up from the ground. Bucky turns to her as he hears those three words slip out of her mouth. “I love _you._ ” 

Jolene takes a step towards him and Bucky could see the truth in her eyes. Those dark brown eyes were showing pure love. 

“I don’t care what name you want to go by…” Jolene tells him as she gets closer to him. “…James, Bucky, Winter Soldier…” Jolene stops in front of him with newfound determination. “I love _you._ ” 

Bucky knew he shouldn’t. He knew that if he did he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. That once he made that move everything that he had managed to restrain would tumble down and take Jolene with him. Bucky knew he shouldn’t, but he still did.

He pulled Jolene towards him and pressed an urgent kiss on her lips. Every emotion he felt… anger, fear, joy… was pushed into this one kiss. Desperation was evident, urgency too. He wished that this would happen in a better circumstance and setting, but now was as good as ever. 

“I love you too,” Bucky whispers as he pulls away to catch his breath. “I love you so goddamn much.” 

Jolene laughs happily at this and pulls Bucky into another searing kiss. Bucky responded quickly and it didn’t take much for things to get heated. Bucky starts pushing her forward, kicking off his shoes as he goes. Jolene repeats his actions until she’s forced against the armrest of the couch. Bucky easily lifts her onto it and Jolene slips her shirt off. Bucky quickly presses his lips onto the newly available skin and Jolene moans against his neck. She tugs at his hair and shirt, silently asking him to undress as well. 

Once Bucky tore his shirt off, Jolene quickly kissed a trail down his chest. Her arms came to rest on his shoulders and Bucky took the hint of picking her up once more. Jolene continued to kiss and bite his neck before pressing her lips against his. She pulled back and looked down at Bucky with lust. 

“Bedroom is down this hallway,” Jolene breathes out. 

Without another word, Bucky starts to carry her there and Jolene continued to press kisses on any part of his skin she could reach. Bucky kicks the door open and they both slip into the darkness of the room. Nothing mattered at this moment. 

Not Hydra. Not the Avengers. Nothing. 

It was just two people who met and fell in love with each other. The world might be against it, but they didn’t care. 

 -------------

Natasha, Steve, and Tony ended up at Delilah’s house where Sam was currently at. Sam had tried to get Delilah to talk about where Jolene and Bucky had run off to but she refused to give him a real answer. It wasn’t until Tony made an appearance did Delilah’s attitude change. 

“Delilah, I love you and I love your food, but I really need to know where Jolene is.” Tony tells her as he refuses the warm apple pie that Delilah had brought out. “We think she could be in a lot of trouble.” 

“I know,” Delilah answers. “She told me.” 

“Told you what exactly?” Steve asks her. 

“She said things were _catching up with her._ ” Delilah tells them. “That’s her codeword when things have gone wrong whether it was paparazzi, aliens, or one of Iron Man’s potential enemies. Jolene chose that exact phrase to offer an explanation if she had to disappear.” 

“Smart,” Natasha comments to them. 

“Yeah, Jolene was always one step ahead,” Tony sighs out before turning to Delilah. “I need to know where she is, Delilah. You got to help me out here.” 

Delilah looked worriedly at him. 

“How bad is it?” Delilah asks him instead. “How much trouble did she get herself in?” 

“Jolene’s caught the attention of Hydra due to the company she keeps.” Sam explains to her. 

“You mean James?” Piper asks them as she makes her way down the stairs. Everyone looks up at the teenage girl who just looked tired and worried. 

“You know who we’re talking about?” Steve asks as he turns to her. 

“From everyone here, Piper knows James the best.” Delilah tells him.

“Yeah, James and I are friends.” Piper answers with a shrug. “What’s going on? Are James and Jolene ok?” 

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Natasha tells her. 

“Well whatever it is, Jolene is going to be fine.” Piper states. “With James by her side, Jolene will be safe. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her.” 

“And why’s that?” Steve asks. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Piper tells them. “He loves her.” 


	22. Not An Update... Sorry!

Hello readers!

I know it's been a long time since I've updated this story and I come here offering an explanation. I've been struggling with work and schoolwork these past few months which is why I primarily stopped writing. After the school year ended, I looked over my works and realized that I didn't like many of the scenes I've placed so I've decided to put the story on hold and edit this book. This is going to take a while and I promise that I will try my best to get all of this done and give you all an update that you deserve. 

Thank you so much for all the love and support! 


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